Hello, mamas!
My name is Bryn, first-time mama to little Ilze, born 3/9 (can't believe she is almost 4 weeks old!). I was planning a homebirth, had a fairly uneventful pregnancy (despite almost constant nausea/vomiting) until around 31 weeks, and was referred to a perinatologist because of slow growth. Turned out baby was also breech, and slightly low on fluid. DH and I did everything we could to try to get her to turn around (pelvic tilts, moxibustion, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustment, deep water submersion, headstands in the pool, music, light, etc.; you name it, we tried it), to no avail. To deal with the slow growth/low fluid, I stopped working, started drinking 1.5-2 gallons of water a day, and ate extremely high protein foods (over 120g per day). Unfortunately her fluid levels continued to drop, and at 37 weeks (with an AFI of 3) the decision was made to do a cesarean.
I have no regrets over the decision to have the surgery; I know it was what was necessary to keep her healthy and safe. As far as surgery goes, I seem to have had a wonderful one; my recovery has been amazing, she had no problems despite being 3 weeks early, and I had wonderfully supportive care at the hospital.
However . . .
I have been planning on becoming a midwife since I was 9 years old. I trained as a doula when I was 17, went to massage school SPECIFICALLY so that I could do pregnancy massage, have trained as a childbirth educator, etc. I am a real birth junky (hence the User Name). And while I have always said that I am grateful that we have the medical care we do for women who need it, and while I was obviously one of the women who needed it this time around . . . I am having a really tough time with the grieving process over losing the homebirth I had planned, and more than that, the experience of labor. I never felt one contraction with DD, and although some of my friends think I am crazy to hear me say it, I was really looking FORWARD to labor, and going through the experience.
I am dealing with the grief one day at a time, thankful for my beautiful daughter and my smooth & easy recovery, hopeful for a VBAC next time, and very grateful to have found this thread.
Thanks for listening.