Children At Birth: The Poll

[grace's voice]

Just curious, for those of you who have had your children attend the birth of a sibling. My dd is preparing for our baby in June and is really excited about the birth. Wanted to see how it worked out for other families. Feel free to add coments about your birth, like what age your child was at the time, where the birth took place, etc.

Thanks!

[SagMom]

ds was 9 when I had my youngest. He was very squeemish about "icky" things so I expected that he'd hang out outside the room during the birth and come in later when the mess was cleaned up. Turns out, he was in and out of the room during my labor and when I began to push, he ran in to help support me (I was squatting) and saw the whole thing. Afterwards, he inspected the placenta with the midwife.

I was floored.

dd was 6 at that birth and at the time, was interested in anything to do with the human body. She watched births on tv and was sooo ready to see our baby born. She was the one I was sure would attend the birth. Of course, she didn't...she came to see me a few times during labor, but then made herself scarce during the end. She waited until everything was cleaned up before she came in to see her new brother.

She'll be almost 12 when this baby is born and she's already informed me that she won't be present until after the clean up.

It'll be interesting to see how it plays out this time.

[Boobs]

My dd was 7 and she did very well. She even cut the cord.

[sevenkids]

When I was having my fifth, my eldest dd wanted to be present, she was 10 at the time. Well, it turned out to be a very rough birth, not what I wanted her to witness as a first experience, and she asked me so many questions and talked so much I had to ask her to leave.
The little ones were in and out, and did much better. they just looked, kissed me, and left.

Another birth, I think my fourth, the other three, plus my two younger brothers, were peeking through the bedroom window! And came running in as soon as the baby was out.

I've attended births where other children were present and they did just fine. One that stands out was an 11th baby, the 9 children still at home (eldest was away at college) were in attendence, and sat quietly and watched. Until the baby was out, then they all rushed over and knocked us (midwives) out of the way!

[Journey]

When DD #2 was born, DD #1 was 2 ½ years old. She was present for the entire thing (homebirth), and was really well behaved. My friend brought her little boy (who was just a couple weeks away from 1 year old), and he watched the birth with no fuss at all.

When DS was born (at home as well), DD #1 was 4 years old, and DD #2 wasn't quite 2 years old yet. The girls sat and ate a box of Cheerios as I pushed. Nobody else was present for the birth except my girls. The oldest brought me the bowl to catch the placenta.

[Emilie]

I can't vote!
Ds slept thru most of my labor. He was 2.5
He woke up late in labor- and he was fine- like it was no big deal.
We called a friend to come get him and they went to our basement while I delivered. I did not want him there. Looking back - he would have been fine there. However I wanted it to be just dh and I- if i had ds there I would have had to have my friend to. I am very private about the birth.
If my mom was there she could have been there with ds- but she wasn't.
Em

[Jade2561]

I am really glad to hear some of these positive experiences with young children (2-2.5). I plan to have my 2 year old at the birth and people are acting like I'm taking her to the war zone or something Thanks!

[USAmma]

My dd knew all about the birth process and watched several birth videos, but I felt she would not be good at the birth. She was barely 3 and high needs. I wanted to focus on the birth and the new baby, not on my older child. She would not have been happy sitting back and watching in someone's arms. She would want to be all over me. I am sad that she missed the birth but that's what I felt was best at the time, and I still do. I did get video and two years later my dd loves watching the video of her sister's birth.

[Eman'smom]

I didn't vote because ds wasn't there.

Ds was/is very high needs, I knew that if I wanted an intervention free birth I needed all of dh's and doula's attention, something I know I wouldn't not have gotten had ds been there (even if he had his own support person). I also scream all through transition and pushing and that is something I knew ds couldn't handle.

I also wanted a few hours to bond and figure out nursing with our new little bean. All these things might seem selfish but they are what I needed. The kids have a lifetime together.

[mbhf]

my oldest was not quite 22 months when the baby was born. he was asleep, but woke up when dh started milling around the house. my labor was VERY short (woke up at 3 something, baby was born a little after 5am) and my MIL who was going to be with him while i labored was 8 hours away. i figured i would be able to give her atleast 15 hours notice.

he came in and layed in bed with me while my dh shoveled snow for the midwife, and i don't know how i would have coped without him there. he kept me calm.

he sat at the bottom of the bed nd watched the lord of the rings while i was pushing, but as caleb's head came out, i noticed him peaking over my shoulder. (i birthed on my hands and knees, but belly up.) it was perfect. once the baby was out, i leaned forward and rubbed his back until he started breathing and kieran rubbed my back the same way.

he was absolutely amazing, and he accepted and loved his brother instantly.

[myniyer]

Originally Posted by USAmma

My dd knew all about the birth process and watched several birth videos, but I felt she would not be good at the birth. She was barely 3 and high needs. I wanted to focus on the birth and the new baby, not on my older child. She would not have been happy sitting back and watching in someone's arms. She would want to be all over me.

This is exactly how I feel about my dd. I am sad that we are planning for her not to be there but I think it is best.

[rachdoll]

dd1 was 3.5 yo when she was at dd2's birth, and she did great. I did have to tell her to not touch me, any touch was too much, until just before pushing when dh took my hand - that was perfect. anyway, dd1 was great, and helped my mw cut the cord. within seconds of dd2 being out of the water, "can I hold my sister?" "can I hold my sister?" "can I hold my sister?"

Beforehand we talked about my making loud, maybe scary noises, and that I would be in pain, but it was okay.

[JBaxter]

My boys were 9 & 12 and did great. We had a long induced hospital birth and they came and went to the waiting room. After I delivered Nathan my 9 yr old ( connor) patted my leg and said good job mom. ( I cried)

[nikirj]

I checked both the first and second options because both kids (ages 3 and 5) were excited, calm, and perfect. But help out? No. It was amazing having them there and they thought it was amazing. No trauma experienced by anyone.

[orangebird]

I picked the first, but it was more between the first and second. They were amazing, handled it well, but I don't remember them actually helping. Not timid though.