Possible CPS investagation, need advice for my aunt

[JamesMama]

I live in Iowa.

Long story short, I have a 16 y/o cousin who was recently pulled over by police and his buddy was found to have a can of chew and they had a bottle of booze, unopened but they were planning on drinking it (stupid kids, what can I say). They were given a ticket for posesson of tobaco by a minor and the booze was confincated and they were sent on their merry way.

A while later (last week) my aunt recieved a letter in the mail stating that due to my cousins recent ticket and blah blah blah she was scheduled for an 'intake meeting'.

My aunt works at the school so she went to the guidance counsular and asked her to interpret the letter. The GC said she wasn't sure, but whenever she sees the words 'intake meeting' it means CPS.

My dad told her to get a lawyer but she's kind of a flake and says it's no big deal because her husband is a TOTAL flake and lives in denial for a lot of things and he says it's no big deal, they do not need a lawyer, they'll go to the meeting, Cousin will deal with his punishment and all will be right with the world.

My dad had a run in with CPS so he's really leary of them, like most people. I told my aunt to get a lawyer, don't say a word to anyone, do not allow ANYONE into your home without a warrent, tell Cousin not to say a word to anyone. But she says I'm overreacting and not to worry.

What do you all think?

[afishwithabike]

She NEEDS to listen to you and GET a lawyer. These people do NOT care if they break up a family. The sad part is that your cousin is 16 and it would be literal He** if they lost him because he would likely just get sent to a juvenile corrections facility until age 18. It would harden the poor guy and he'd NEVER be the same. She NEEDS to get off it and get a Lawyer.

[Snowdrift]

I interned for juvenile probation. Kids were put on probation for being caught with a cig or for pushing (once) in school. It is hard on the kids--house arrest, sometimes juvie, meeting with caseworkers, counselors, etc. It is expensive for the parents who get charged for all these "services."

Oh, and the nice white kid who went to the "good" high school and had a history of stealing 10 cars and joyriding was treated with kid gloves. The black lower-middle-class, apartment dwelling, middle-school girls who got in a fight at school and pulled a girl's hair *one time* got put on "intensive probation" whihc is much longer, much more expensive, and involves much more restriction on personal freedom. Their biggest mistake was being black and having a father in jail.

Nothing sadder than watching a pair of young girls having to write out a letter begging a judge to let them leave the state to visit their dad in prison.

Yeah, get a lawyer. Be very careful. If they're fairly well-off, own their own home, and don't have any "red flags" they'll probably be fine. If not, or if the caseworkers see any way to take advantage of them, they will not be fine at all.

[JamesMama]

It's a well-to-do town, they do own their own home...I'm not sure about red flags...my aunt is not the greatest housekeeper and the little sister has ADHD.

My cousin was featured in the "Whos Who in High school athletics" for Sports Illistrated. He's really a good kid, just majorly screwed up.

[afishwithabike]

They may be okay then as Tye dyed said families who OWN their homes etc tend to make out better. I think that was the ONLY thing that saved my parents from losing my brother and sister.

[Irishmommy]

Yup, they need a lawyer.

[2Sweeties1Angel]

Always get a lawyer when dealing with the CPS bastards. They tried to ruin my life because they thought I couldn't afford one, and they were definitely suprised when I showed up in court with one of the best in the area.

[JamesMama]

What is an intake meeting? What does that mean? Why is all this going on for an alcohol posession?

[papayapetunia]

Ah, CPS. I volunteer to help parents who have had their kids taken away. I draft briefs and motions for attorneys as part of my Family Law clinic at law school. Most of the time the complaints are legit, but it's not too infrequently that we get a real shocker - no abuse, no neglect, no reason for CPS to take jurisdiction at all. Then what they do is find a reason after the fact to take jurisdiction. Judges have a hard time letting go of jurisdiction if there's some reason found after the fact. And parents who don't have good attorneys don't know that this is bullshit.

One family had their six or seven kids taken away, and one of them was a little three-month-old baby. What happened was the neighbor was pissed off at them for not letting her hold their baby. She was a crackhead, bigtime. So she called CPS and said they were abusing the kids. They came and took the kids away. They found out what had happened and should have given the kids back, right? Nope. While they were investigating, they had all the kids tested psychologically and educationally. The kids were all being homeschooled. Two of them tested at below the grade level they should be at. So CPS fought to keep jurisdiction based on educational neglect. One of the kids that got taken away was a 16yo girl. She had an infant too, that was taken away. CPS told her that she could not have her baby back until she got a gyno exam (the family is against the use of Western meds) and enrolled in school. She did both, and you know what they said? They said they wouldn't give the baby back because who would take care of the baby while she was in school!!!

I would not take any chances. I'd get a Family Law attorney pronto who is experienced with CPS cases. This work has made me see what really goes on with CPS. And it really is the poor who get F'ed the most.

[rabrog]

Sorry this has to happen to your cousin, but if she can't be convinced to hire a lawyer, there's not a lot you can do for them. Be glad your cousin is older instead of younger.

Jenn

[JamesMama]

What about the younger one? Would they yank them both or just the older boy? His sister is 12, almost 13.

I'm not 100% sure when the meeting is but my dad and I are trying to wear her down. My grandma has offered to giver her money to pay for a good lawyer (they have enough money to support them selves pretty comfortably, but lawyers are pricy).

I told my dad I 'knew' some mom's online who had run-ins with CPS and I'd get their take on it. He's going to call my aunt again today and try to get her to hire a lawyer.

[rabrog]

Totally guessing here, but I'm pretty sure they'd remove both boys.

Jenn

[LIZnCHAD]

Is this his first offense? Who is the letter from? If it is what I think it is (and I'm pretty sure it is) then it's just a meeting to scare the kid. I live in Iowa and had several friends talk about these meetings. Basically a counselor talks to one of the parents and child. The people I knew who had to go to them went to 3-4 of them over the course of a month - usually about once a month. The kids were given worksheets about the adverse effects of what they had done (marajuana, alcohol, etc) to complete and bring to the classes. Plus having to bring your mom or dad with you is pretty embarrasing too.

[Momma Aimee]

I worked with abused kids / out of home placements / CPS / sleter and foster care for 9 years...........

I woulf RELAX

I would call the person who sent the letter and ask

What will we be discussing, what do i need to be prepared for. ANy information I need to bring with me?"

ANd I would go -- and be nice -- NOT CONFRONTATIONAL --

admit my son F&^%ed up; be ready with the consenquence at home and the plan to see it doesn't happen again ..... and then be willing to listen and praticpate in the meeting.

no lawyer.

This is a reality check for the kid -- so they don't think "hey we got pulled over the cop took the bottle and we were good to go....hey no big deal; we are cool......" this needs to be a life changer for the kids or else they will do it, or more, again.

this is about the teen.

No need to get conformtational and bring in a lawer and cact all defensice and so on.............

I find with CPS you get treated the way you act -- if you act stupid and blow a lot of hot air....that is how you get treated.........if you are respectufl, clam and say "hey we are all here for the best of the child" then things go fine.....either one team out to help the kid, or two teams finghting ..........all uop to the poarents.

anyway .................this is just one meeting, IF they don't like how it goes, they get a lawyer after it -- when they can tell the lawyer what the sotry is..........

They are NOT going to remove the younger sibs because of the older bro getting caught with chew and a bottle..........the boy could have to go to juvi court on possession -- he DID break a law -- but that would be a matter before the court on him due to his behaivor....................the little kids would NOT be pulled for something like that.

kids are ONLY removed if they are in DANGER staying home.............CSP is not the SS ----- they do what is in the LAW and ordered by a JUDGE....

and..........anyway.......if one sib is putting 2 sibs in danger (which NOT the case here) the one sib would be pulled.

think about it ------------- CPS what bigger fish to fry and kids in real danger, they are not going to tear this family apart over one possession charge......................

The boys might have to face a judge and face a consencuence -- probation, fine, mandated counseling...............but that is what they earned when they broke the law; a choice they made

A

[JamesMama]

Thanks so much A.

He's been punished at home (basically house arrest) he goes to school, sports practice and the farm (he's in 4-H) he got his 'chore' list at the farm doubled so he's really busy there too. He's not allowed to use the net, or the phone or have any friends over, go to friends house or even use his truck (his mom drives him to school) except to drive him and his sister to the farm so they can chore. I hope he learns his lesson.

[hotmamacita]

They do not have to go to the meeting.

[Mirzam]

As a mother of a 15 year old who got an under age drinking ticket (sigh). That seems a little tough. All that happened to us was DD was required to attend a Teen Diversion program, which entailed four classes with one or either parent. No talk of CPS, no judgments concerning her "behavior or the parents suitability to parent. By the end of the program we had a signed "contract" that we all agree to concerning alcohol/drug use. Every single one of the parents were loving caring parents and the teens were good, sweet kids. Once DD had completed the program all charges were dropped and it was erased from any permanent records.

ETA: I am in CO and live in a very progressive city.

[Momma Aimee]

He's been punished at home (basically house arrest) he goes to school, sports practice and the farm (he's in 4-H) he got his 'chore' list at the farm doubled so he's really busy there too. He's not allowed to use the net, or the phone or have any friends over, go to friends house or even use his truck (his mom drives him to school) except to drive him and his sister to the farm so they can chore. I hope he learns his lesson

and they will present this at the meeting, and the kid may still ahve to talk to a judge or someone -- he did break a law --but that is the point of the meeting -- i am sure .

Good luck, maybe this is his reality check and he won't get in more trouble.

Also I'd like to point out -- no one is SURE this letter has anything to do with CSP -- reading the orginal post -- the GC at school suspected that, the letter was NOT from CPS....I'd say this is juvinal court or some aspect of law enfoecemnt dealing with the brokwn law, not the pareting or family situation.

CPS usally doesn't send a letter and ask you to come in -- they CALL and ask to come to your house, or they show up (depending ont he alligation).

A

[geek_the_girl]

Good luck to them..Hope everything works out ok.

[JamesMama]

Thanks.

Iowa just recently passed a VERY VERY strict underage drinking law after the son of a well known business man in Des Moines was almost killed in a drunk driving accident, the son and his buddy were both drunk and got in an accident, the buddy was killed. The other boy was hurt pretty bad. I'm not sure of the language of the law, but I know the person who GAVE the minor the alcohol as well as the minor are now tried with different crimes than before. Not sure what. It's supposed to prevent adults from buying booze for minors.