cant attend class because Im breastfeeding

[memory maker]

I am so mad. I have an in home daycare that I am registered with the state. Because I am registered I have to take certain classes so that I can stay registered. One of the classes I have to take is coming up next month. My dd is 5 months now and is exclusively breastfed and will not take a bottle. I called and explained my situation and asked if my dd could come with me. They told me that kids of any age are not welcome at the class because it is a distraction. COME ON! this is a class that is all daycare providers...like we arent used to being around kids or something. She said I would have to sign up after she was weaned. I told her my 3 yr old isnt even weaned yet, so that is going to be quite a while. After being told that my dd couldnt come I asked if my dh could come with us, walk around the building until she needed to nurse and then bring her to me. She said that I would have to leave the room to nurse her and that my attendance wouldnt count if I had to leave for more than 10 minutes. I am so MAD right now. I have called the local DHS to find out what I am supposed to do now. I cant believe that I am the only person who has ever asked them to bring a breastfed baby. I guess all other daycare providers in my state must formula feed *all the other ones I know do*

[velcromom]

What state are you in?

[JesiLynne]

I'd go anyway with baby in sling.
If you are asked to leave, DONT

[pumpkin]

I take professional classes on a pretty regular basis. Most have very strict no child/guest policies. I wanted to point out that these classes also tend to have LOTS of scheduled breaks that are generally pretty long (15-20 minutes plus 90 minute lunch breaks). I would ask for the class schedule and see what the breaks look like. It might be that the breaks are long enough for a nursing break or that you would only be a few minutes late getting back. Also note, that lots of people tend to come back late from the breaks so the class generally doesn’t start right on time anyway.

[MommyBear]

Is breastfeeding protected by law in your state? What does the law say? In KS a baby is allowed to nurse anywhere the mother is legally allowed to be, I would assume that would mean a class too, though I could be wrong. Sure they wouldn't like it, but if its the law...

[sapphire_chan]

Have you spoken with instructor or just with the adminstration?

[memory maker]

It is only a 2 hr class (would be just under 3 hrs gone with driving time) so there are no breaks. They dont have listed who is going to be leading the class, so I have just talked to the people who are organizing it. I am still waiting to hear back from DHS who is in charge of my registration. BTW I am in Iowa. Im not sure if the law covers classes or not??
I had to go to a daycare food program class a few weeks ago. They welcomed us there with open arms. She sat on my lap, nursed, and then fell asleep

[Momtwice]

I'd go up the chain of command and then depending on the reaction and your state, I'd contact a TV reporter and or an attorney and or a politician or two.

[nikirj]

Originally Posted by Momtwice

I'd go up the chain of command and then depending on the reaction and your state, I'd contact a TV reporter and or an attorney and or a politician or two.

I'm sorry but this is a 2 hour class and this makes us all look petty.

Seriously? She'll survive. Nurse her right before and go. If your baby seriously doesn't go that long between feedings, have your DH come and slip out "to the bathroom" right in the middle of the class, just as you planned all along.

I can see throwing a fit if it was an all day class. But this is 2 hours. If it will seriously be a humongous amount of trouble (above and beyond having your DH cope with a slightly peeved baby) I'd be more inclined to see if you can get an extension on your requirement to take the class in the first place.

[trolley]

I took one class where a woman brought a nursing infant. It didn't work at all. The second the baby started fussing, we were all distracted, and the lecture fell apart. Five minutes of fussing is a lot when you consider all the material you need to get through. The teacher asked her to stop bringing her baby the second time she attended class, and I was really relieved to be honest with you. I think she ended up having her husband bring the baby in and she nursed in the lobby area. I hope you can work something out.

[ralphie76]

As a college professor, I always welcome nursing mothers in class, with the caveat that they leave the room if their baby's happy or sad noises disturb their classmates. I'm sorry you ran into someone who was less flexible. However, I'd be inclined to agree with the poster who recommended feeding right before you go (you could even have DH come with you and you could nurse immediately before entering the room) and then nursing when you are done or on any breaks you get if your dd can make it. 2 hours seems do-able. And I agree that picking our battles is an important skill- it can hurt our causes more than help when we are seen as "crazy" or "militant". Good luck!

[aprons_and_acorns]

Originally Posted by nikirj

I'm sorry but this is a 2 hour class and this makes us all look petty.

Seriously? She'll survive. Nurse her right before and go. If your baby seriously doesn't go that long between feedings, have your DH come and slip out "to the bathroom" right in the middle of the class, just as you planned all along.

I can see throwing a fit if it was an all day class. But this is 2 hours. If it will seriously be a humongous amount of trouble (above and beyond having your DH cope with a slightly peeved baby) I'd be more inclined to see if you can get an extension on your requirement to take the class in the first place.

I agree with this. However that is not meant to dismiss the issue you are facing. It is discrimination against mothers, plain and simple.

[aprons_and_acorns]

Originally Posted by trolley

I took one class where a woman brought a nursing infant. It didn't work at all. The second the baby started fussing, we were all distracted, and the lecture fell apart.

I think this is very unfortunate. It really goes to show you how ill-equipt our society is to deal with the reality of mothers (women) as equal participants in the workforce and in academia.

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by MommyBear

Is breastfeeding protected by law in your state? What does the law say? In KS a baby is allowed to nurse anywhere the mother is legally allowed to be, I would assume that would mean a class too, though I could be wrong. Sure they wouldn't like it, but if its the law...

its not the baby isn't allowed to nurse in the room. the baby isn't allowed to *be* in the room. That makes a difference legally.

The class is only two hours. bring dh with you, nurse before you go in, dh can take baby on an outing, and then you can nurse as soon as the class is over.

I wouldn't assume everyone is formula feeding. But most people who work are able to leave thier baby for a couple of hours without any trouble. It would never occur to me to ask to bring my child to something like this (they are very distracting just by virtue of being so gosh darn cute and lovable).


this is just part of working. I don't see what the big deal is. it is only a 2 hour class.

[aprons_and_acorns]

Originally Posted by lilyka

I wouldn't assume everyone is formula feeding. But most people who work are able to leave thier baby for a few hours.

This is true.

I suppose I probably sounded a little disgruntled in my pp, but I just see so many ways in which I feel it is possible to not have such an *either/or* lot in life as a mother.

[Meiri]

For a 2 hour class, bring the baby and a caregiver who can hold and walk with her. Nurse her thoroughly before the class starts, on a chair or the floor right outside the door if you're feeling feisty enough about making the point, get through it and meet them right outside the doors directly afterwards.

Get through this in spite of the lack of support.

[nancyw]

I teach infant and toddler development at our local community college, and also have taught some of the two hour trainings for childcare providers.

I just do not see that this has to be an issue. It seems to me incredulous and infuriating that they were so cut and dry, so inflexible. It seems hypocritical---(just my own opinion, and I realize I may be in the minority somewhat.) My SOLE and most important reason for teaching these classes is my heartfelt belief that more people, especially childcare providers, need the support, the inspiration, the undertanding to REALLY know about the needs of little ones, and for people to begin to see what true care and respect looks like, and what it doesnt. (and I have to say---there are some classes/trainings I have taught that I would have given ANYthing to have a role model of AP via breastfeeding in my class. That would have been GOLDEN to me, as an understanding of that in the world of childcare, I feel, is SO DESPARATELY needed....)



memorymaker, I would have been equally dismayed and at a loss. No mature adult would sit in a class and let their little one make all kinds of disruptions. I doubt this would have even happened at all. Rowdypea, I am with you, and dont feel you have to 'censor' your initial feelings.

(ok....done with my rant!!)

[Janice in Canada]

Since children are not allowed in this class, then perhaps the law wouldn't protect you in breastfeeding in class.

On the other hand - I doubt if infants/children are forbidden to be there by a *law* (like a licensed bar that serves alcohol and children under 18 are not allowed to there). I think its more at the discretion/decision of the organizers and instructor.

I agree that 2 hours away for a 5 1/2 month is manageable. But what if the child is teething and wants to be on the breast?

However, I also agree that this is discriminatory to mothers and unfair. I believe that mothers need to be supported to do the right thing for their children, & still participate in society.

This mom may have chosen to work at in-home daycare for this very reason - to be accessible to her child. If otherwise she is able to work as a caregiver, and be accessible to her infant 24 hours a day, why should they be seperated for this obligation?

What if this mom had no dh, or other caregiver available to accompany her? That also may be the reason why she does in-home daycare, so that she can work and also be a full-time caregiver to her infant. We are making some assumptions here.

While the law may not be applicable in this case, I don't think that removes our obligation as a society to improve conditions for mothers and recognize that the mother needs to participate in society without abandoning her child.

If children were more present in all areas of society, they wouldn't be distracting - the same argument we use for NIP, right?

Janice
who has attended countless meetings with infants right through to toddlers - both while doing my paid work, and while sitting on committees. These were all quiet meetings with adults. Baby either played quietly, nursed or slept. No problem.

[memory maker]

Originally Posted by nikirj

I'm sorry but this is a 2 hour class and this makes us all look petty.

Seriously? She'll survive. Nurse her right before and go. If your baby seriously doesn't go that long between feedings, have your DH come and slip out "to the bathroom" right in the middle of the class, just as you planned all along.

I can see throwing a fit if it was an all day class. But this is 2 hours. If it will seriously be a humongous amount of trouble (above and beyond having your DH cope with a slightly peeved baby) I'd be more inclined to see if you can get an extension on your requirement to take the class in the first place.

Yes I am serious. sorry that you see my problem as petty. My dd nurses at least every hour. She has free access since Im home with her all day and that is what she is used to. She gets upset very easily and cries until she throws up. So I dont see this as a slightly peeved baby.
I dont want to start something and make everyone involved think Im the "crazy breastfeeding lady" but I dont want my dd to spend 3 hrs screaming. I dont want to stage a nurse in or anything because of this, but I thought at least this is some place I could come to complain a little. Guess not.

[hypatia]

Originally Posted by lilyka

its not the baby isn't allowed to nurse in the room. the baby isn't allowed to *be* in the room. That makes a difference legally.

No, the fact that the baby isn't allowed to be in the room doesn't make any difference legally in Iowa (although it would in some states).

The Iowa law states:

Iowa Code § 135.30A, 2002
2000 Ia. ALS 1140; 2000 Ia. Ch. 1140; 2000 Ia. LAWS 1140; 1999 Ia. SF 2302

135.30A Breastfeeding in Public Places
Notwithstanding any other provision of law to the contrary, a woman may breast-feed the woman's own child in any public place where the woman's presence is otherwise authorized.

So the law protects her right to breastfeed her baby in the meeting.

Whether it's a good idea or not is a different matter.