advice or 1st timers - Page 2

[raks]

I also was suprised by how much milk I leaked in the night. And I was surprised how long that leaking lasted.... I can't exactly remember when it got "under control" but I clearly remember waking up in a wet milk puddle for at least a few months.

The other thing that I wasn't prepared for was the post partum bleeding. I knew I would have that, but I didn't know for how long. Mine lasted for about 4 weeks after delivery. And then I got my period 8 weeks after delivery even though I was exclusively breastfeeding and nursing ALL the time. grrr!!

Changing the first meconium diaper was also quite shocking. Ewww. I had no idea what to expect. Thank goodness that didn't last very long.

[SaveTheWild]

thanks for the great tips....keep em coming

[Think of Winter]

The most important thing in my opinion is to educate yourself about hospital births, homebirths, and birthing centers so that you can make informed choices about what you want. I went with the flow on my first birth (in a hospital) and ended up with many interventions.

If you are having a hospital birth, you should try to be prepared for the nurses insisting on interventions (like continuous monitoring, IVs, or taking your baby to the NICU), and know beforehand what situations would make those interventions necessary to you.

I loved Ina May Gaskin's Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Henci Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth.

[Think of Winter]

Originally Posted by Xiaguan

Some things I have learned:
~Castor oil makes for a stinky delivery
~Listen to your instinct & try really hard to block out the rest
~You can have an induced hospital birth with very little intervention & no drugs!
~When your milk comes in it really comes in!

Melissa, Could you tell me more about having an induction w/ very little intervention and no drugs? Perhaps in a pm if this is off-topic? Thank you!

[newmainer]

I concur with everything that has been posted... i had no idea i would be so sore and swollen.

Thought i would add a few things that surprised me on the emotional/mental level-

first, be prepared to be extremely protective of your newborn... it might be hard to let others hold him/her. My midwife gave me some good advice: you should never be out of sight or more than 10 feet from your baby. You are under no obligation to let others hold your baby for longer than you feel comfortable- the most important thing about the immediate postpartum time is you bonding with your baby and getting a good breastfeeding relationship going.

the enormity of responsibility for caring for a newborn is overwhelming... i found myself having these bizarre thoughts like, 'my god... i could throw her out the window! or put her in the oven!' it disturbed me to have these thoughts even float through my head. i knew it wasn't post partum psychosis or that i was in any danger of actually *doing* those things, i think it was more my brain wrapping itself around the vulnerability of my baby and the fact that she was all my (and dh's) responsibility. It's a very weighty reality to take in. You aren't crazy if you thoughts like these!

talk to your dh about being the "gatekeeper" - keeping visitors to a minimum and the time they stay to a minimum. Our midwives gave us a great note to post on our door that said something to the effect of, "Thank you for visiting! Mom and Dad and baby are doing great- but tired. At this time, we are not up for visiting, but please try us again. If you are bringing a meal- thank you! please leave it on the step (porch.. whatever). we are so grateful for your support. love...." Some may think this is harsh, but visitors (be they family, friends, co-workers, whatever) often do not understand the fragile energy of a new mom (esp. if milk is coming in!!) or the importance of a mellow, non-taxing environment for mom and baby. Dh/partner might encourage guests to stay no longer than 15 minutes.

have a good baby book to reference- dh and i had our noses in Sears' Baby Book every other minute. it was awesome. - do it! the rest of the world will go on, and it will be there when you return, but you'll never get that sweet, bubble of a babymoon back.

don't rush to leave the house and get back to routine. if you have help and can stay home for a week or more

anyway- those are things that worked for me and came to mind as lmportant when i thought back to immediate postpartum after my baby. Good luck to all of you- there's nothing like that first babymoon!!!

[Momto1and1ontheway]

Well, some of these things I can't relate to since I had a c/s, but don't be surprise about PPD. It hit me hard a few weeks after DD was born. It always came on around dusk, since I knew that my DH and mom would be able to sleep through the night and it was just me and the baby for BF ALL NIGHT LONG. It didn't last all that long, a few months maybe, but I remember crying every time the sun would go down since I felt all alone. (Don't get me wrong, DH and mom were here for support, but why should there be 3 exhausted adults every day? That way, they rested at night and I rested during the day when they would take the baby. All-in-all, this method worked, but don't be afraid to tell people how you are feeling). Many of my friends ended up taking meds (either Rx or Homeopathic) for PPD and many/all of them waited to talk to someone out of fear of looking silly. If you need help, ASK!

[Xiaguan]

Antother thing I thought of No one tells you what your thighs look like under the belly So don't be too surprised when they have stretch marks on them as well! !

Originally Posted by colleen95

Melissa, Could you tell me more about having an induction w/ very little intervention and no drugs? Perhaps in a pm if this is off-topic? Thank you!

Sorry I did not visit the boards yeaterday #2 & #4 were both inductions~ I was 'lucky' in that as long as my bag of water was intact I did not feel the contractions~ On the flip side as long as the bag of waters was intact I dod not dilate Once my bag was broken I went from 2-delivery in less than 2 hours both times~ It was very intense but managable~ I had a doula as well as my DH for all my births & this really helped~ The 2nd induction the birth ball was invaluable! I felt like I was having menstrual cramps until I got off the ball to go pooty then woo wee! I was very blessed in that both of my Docs were respectful about my desire to have as little intervention as possible & since I went relatively fast they could not do any interventions~

I think that the doula again made a huge difference~ She was able to be an advocate for both my DH & myself~ She was able to stay with my while my DH went with my son to the nursery~ I realize that everyone labor is different but I want people to realize that an induction can be done with no pain relief & little intervention~ I was also lucky in that both hospitals that I delivered at had really good nursing staff who did not laugh at my birth plan but read it & honored it(esp my last birth) & for my last one it was 5 pages long I covered all my bases & really showed the staff(dr's & Rn's alike) that I had done my homework & really believed what I wrote~ We were so unsure what the outcome of last labor was going to be & even if we were giong to be bringing home a live baby~

HTH's (if not just ask!)
Warmly,
Melissa

[quirkylayne]

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