Grandparents giving kids lots of cash? - Page 2

[velochic]

Originally Posted by Maman*Musique

Thanks everyone. I think the idea of making it a given that money goes to the college fund is a good one. Alternatively, the idea of museum memberships, etc.

I am going to run this by dh and see if he thinks he can make that fly.

Just remember... ultimately, once the gift is given, it belongs to you. A gift with strings attached (i.e. money for toys) is not a gift. I think you have some great opportunities, esp. for the older one, to learn about saving and giving.

[Monkeyfeet]

Originally Posted by mightymoo

Some thoughts - explain to them that when you put cash away its not just for their college fund. It's for anything they may want to do later - summer camp, a trip to europe after college, a first car, a first house, etc.

If you really feel like MIL will get offended if you try to save the money, consider looking for a single high-quality (and maybe high-price) toy to buy DS with the money, so you have less physical toys, but maybe nicer ones?

Another option would be to spend the money on experiences - use the money to take him to the museum or the aquarium - those things add up super quick, especially if you get snacks and all the fixings, etc. Take him to a ballgame, etc. Then you don't have stuff cluttering your house, but in my neck of the woods a day at the major league ball park for two can set you back $200 without even trying. Or use it to pay for lessons or classes or whatever he might be interested in.

As for all the toys, just purge with impunity - every time you have a carload of toys to bring home, explain that you don't have enough room for all these toys and pick out some to donate or sell (and put htat money in the savings account, etc)

I would also consider suggesting they use the money they would spend all year to buy one big thing - like a backyard playset for example.

ITA!

Also, do you have a nice wooden toy store near you? Maybe you could suggest that they go shopping with him there.

Or ask for a zoo membership, etc.

Also, find online toy stores that have a catalgue (Magic Cabin) and put them on the mailing list.

[mimid]

I would use it as an opportunity to start teaching the kids about saving and giving. Granted, the 20 month old probably won't get it for a while, but the 5 yo will. My family are big cash givers and have already starteds giving for the babes so dh and I have talked about it. For us (when they get old enough to understand) 10% goes to a charity of their choice, a small amount as "spending money" and the rest in savings. We figure this will start teaching them those things that I didn't get a good handle on until way too late. We also do this with kids we babysit. We give them the change we get at stores/resturaunts and they get to choose which charity can to put it in.

[artgoddess]

Dude, that's totally unacceptable. If you the parents have told them not to give them so many gifts and they continue anyway, and then you tell them no cash and they do it anyway, it's a serious problem. They are dismissing you as the parents, and I recommend you have a firm conversation with them about it. Not when the kids are around, get a sitter, and offer to take them out to dinner and talk to them about it as adults. They are teaching your kids that love and affection can be bought, and it's not okay.