out-of-control gift giving RANT

[jkg]

DS is 14 months old. This year for Easter, my in-laws spent what I consider a ridiculous amount of money on gifts for him. (This is not the first time). I know that they are doing it out of love, and I know I must sound ungrateful, but it really bothers me. I told them that I appreciate their generosity,but I wish they wouldn't spend so much. They don't understand why it upsets me, and my FIL chided me for wanting to deprive my son. I don't want to deprive him of anything! I just don't think that holidays mean showing your love by spending hundreds of dollars, and I don't want DS to think that way either. DS is so young that he won't know the difference between a gift that costs a dollar or one that costs a couple hundred. The gifts are the plastic, noise-making kind. My parents, on the other hand, gave him a ball. He loved it! But when he gets older, I worry that he will wonder why my parents don't give him as much stuff as DH's parents. I don't want to encourage materialism--especially in children. I want DS to value the things that really matter in life, and I don't want him set up to be miserable because he is always wanting more things. I know, at 14 months old, I probably don't have to worry about that yet, and I also know that as grandparents they have a right to do whatever they want. I just get really irritated, you know? Does anyone else feel this way? Is there something else I should be doing, or just let it go?

[EVC]

Maybe you could suggest that they give him one or two small gifts and put the rest of the money that they want to spend on him in a bond or a college fund? That way he'll get a little something to play with now, they can still shower him with generosity, and you can avoid clutter and competition. Plus, it doesn't hurt for him to have a little $ stash for later on when he might really need it.

[KayasMama04]

Why don't you just put some of it away for a rainy day or another holiday? We live in germany so far from family (in the states) and my mom sends her a ton of stuff and we just ration it out. She has a pretty big easter basket but its not everything some is being put away for later. I just say thank you..don't kick a gift horse in the mouth.

[onlyzombiecat]

Originally Posted by jkg

I know, at 14 months old, I probably don't have to worry about that yet, and I also know that as grandparents they have a right to do whatever they want. I just get really irritated, you know? Does anyone else feel this way? Is there something else I should be doing, or just let it go?

You also have to right to say anything over x amount of gifts for your child stays at their house (for ds to play with there) or sell them or give them to charity. If they won't cut down to a reasonable amount, you do not have to accept and keep all these gifts in your home. They don't have to like it. You know your dc will not be deprived and toy storage becomes overwhelming fast.

As your child gets older you can encourage them to pay for things like zoo memberships, museums, sporting event tickets, or classes in lieu of unneeded toys.

[nonniecita]

I seriously could have written your post word for word! It's very frustrating, isn't it? I'm sure the il's will have all sorts of stuff for dd tomorrow, even though we asked them just to get a little something *they did ask for input, but never listen.
The other mama's have awesome ideas, esp. the college fund and membership one's.
Good luck...just wanted to let you know others are in your shoes.
Michelle

[Storm Bride]

I'm loving my family more by the second. My in-laws bought each of the kids a small stuffed animal, and my mom is giving them each a fruit basket. That's it.