It's easy to be well behaved when...A vent and discussion.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

DC and I went to a natural Easter egg dyeing class today. Unfortunately the class was over crowded and not managed very well. It was clear from the start that we weren't going to get many eggs done.

Rather than just deal with the disappointment, people just became completely product driven and common courtesy and appreciation for the experience was tossed out the window. Parents began quickly dying eggs while kids were shoved around...also trying to get some eggs dyed. People were getting as many eggs in the limited cups as they could and then leaving them there, there was shouting, pushing, cutting in front of or reaching over smaller children waiting and women's purses hitting kids in the heads.

This got me thinking of how important it is to model good behavior when it isn't convenient, when we aren't getting rewarded, when others aren't polite first or in return, when we're running late or tired...and even when it means we aren't going to get our pretty little eggs.

Isn't it in times like these that really matter?

Thanks for listening.

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

You’re absolutely right! It is in situations like that where good behavior is most important. Imagine how much better the experience would have been for everyone if everyone or at least all the grownups had been well behaved. *sigh* I'm sorry that you and your dc had to go through that.

[lauradoc]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

This got me thinking of how important it is to model good behavior when it isn't convenient, when we aren't getting rewarded, when others aren't polite first or in return, when we're running late or tired...and even when it means we aren't going to get our pretty little eggs.

Isn't it in times like these that really matter?

YES! Very well said. What a frustrating experience for you and your dc!

[lara1828]

This reminds me of the Easter egg hunt my neices go to every year. They separate the littlest kids (0-2) so in theory they have more time to pick up eggs without the older kids getting them all. But what happens instead is most of the parents rush around and pick them up. The poor little babes never quite figure out what's happening before the eggs are all gone.

Unfortunately, it seems to only take one or two adults "misbehaving" and suddenly every one is doing it!

Sheesh!

[TeaBag]

I agree with you. That sounds like a very disappointing and frustrating experience. My question would be how can I help my children not to get caught up in that? We went to an Easter Egg Hunt last weekend. It's very well done, the little ones are separate from the older children, etc. However, with the older children, there are "reward" eggs. They have so many eggs that mean a chocolate bunny and so many that mean an ice cream cone. The PARENTS, who are not allowed on the hunting area are screaming at their children where to look for these special eggs. At the very end, there was one reward egg that hadn't been found, and they asked one parent for each child to come in and help their child look. And all these parents came rushing out, throwing the boxes, etc....for what? I mean, seriously. It was a 85 cent bunny or a 39 cent ice cream cone. HOW did that become so important???

But what really upset me was that I had all three of my children there by myself and the girls were playing in the hunt area. They did not have their baskets nor were they hunting eggs. They were playing and enjoying watching the other children. But a couple of parents were commenting that "They're too young to be in this hunt, they need to be on the other side" : Who cares? They are 2 and 3....do you really, really think that they are going to find an egg they aren't looking for and keep your child from finding one of the hundreds of eggs? Really?

Anyway, sorry a bit of a rant there. Just bothers me how much the joy of the hunt gets lost in the quest for the win.

[sapphire_chan]

Things like this is how people end up getting arrested for punching out their kid's coach.

I don't understand it and I have no idea what to do about it, except to assume that adults are immature brats if I ever have to plan a similar event myself.

[joesmom]

This is a good place to vent about what happened to my son today...

We went to an Easter egg hunt at a local park- we took my nephews & met my other sister & her two year old there... Joe & his cousin James were in the same age group- they are both seven... There were eggs just lying on the grass, they were not hidden... when it was time to start everyone went tearing up the hill. I could see that Joe was not getting any eggs & when he & James came back down Joe's basket was empty. Poor kid. He was trying not to cry but he was so disappointed- he said all the other kids were faster & he would try to grab eggs & they would take them from him. James was awesome- he gave Joe half of his eggs. I was really proud of him. Joe was fine after he did that, then they played at the playground & had ice cream on the way home...

Joe told me that he thought the eggs would be hidden, not just laid out all over the place. He said he tried to get eggs but people would take them from him & run away too fast. It made me so sad because I can remember the same thing happening to me when I was little. He is SO much like I was & sometimes it is heartbreaking. I felt really sad all the way home & I still keep thinking of him coming down the hill with an empty bucket.

Sometimes being a mom is hard. It feels 1000 times worse when something happens to our kids than when it happens to us. I felt like pushing kids over & taking their eggs. : (I didn't! )

My mom is hiding eggs here tomorrow. Each kid has a different color to look for so they are all guaranteed to win. Joe is looking forward to that.

I don't know why things have to be so cut throat- kids can't just have FUN. It is sad.

[crazycandigirl]

I have had the crazy easter egg hunt happen too. When DD was 2 1/2 i took her to a big easter egg hunt. it was a blocked off field with eggs all over it and hundreds of children. In less than 3 minutes the field was empty. Lilith didnt even get a chance to go out with the other kids- they had knocked her over. So we went walking around the field after the other children were off, and couldn't find a single egg. She looked like she was going to cry. We made our way over to the people working the egg hunt, and I asked her to please tell them what had happened. DD told them that the bunny forgot to leave her anything and did they know where the bunny was so she could ask him. They were great and told her that the bunny had left some bags of eggs with them just in case. She was allowed to pick out 6 eggs just for her. This made dd very happy. So the day wasnt ruined, but we never went back. It is the first time we had done an organized event like that and it was a mad house. I had only gone so she could spend time with other children. Now we know that homemade small celeration build better memories.

[Piglet68]

We just did an easter egg hunt today, in the park. And while granted, it was all MDC mamas still we accompanied our children. Kids can't be blamed for acting like kids. Of course they are going to go into a frenzy of excitement and in the process, they just might act like the adults in ICM's egg dying class. Heck, if grownups succumb to this (think of those "door crasher sales") then of course kids will. So I expected to accompany my DD and make sure that all the kids got eggs, helping the littler ones, etc.

As for the class, ICM, it's so true. Things like this happen yet people are just so hard on kids when they act the same way. Sad, huh?

[annekevdbroek]

Sad! Two of my good friends took their nearly-3's to an easter egg hunt a few days ago. They both came back saying it should have been called a psycho-mom-egg-hunt. (There might have been Dads there so who knows.) Anyhow, neither of their kids got even a single egg. I guess a lot of the parent rushed the field with their kids screaming "get them, GET THEM!!!" and "hurry" and other stuff. As a result some kids got literally dozens of eggs and many of the younger children didn't get any. Meanwhile there was tons of pushing, yelling, snatching, and general bad-sprits over plastic eggs filled with a few cents worth of candy. Very sad to think about what message is being conveyed to these children regarding how to participate in this sort of event, general community spirit, sharing, etc.

OTH, we went to two egg hunts last year and both we well organized and all the parents were extremely considerate in terms of pacing their children, making sure everyone got roughly equal eggs, etc.

[mollyeilis]

Originally Posted by joesmom

My mom is hiding eggs here tomorrow. Each kid has a different color to look for so they are all guaranteed to win. Joe is looking forward to that.

Tell your mom that she is brilliant!!! That is just a fabulous idea.


The rest of this thread is making me so sad! I remember HUGE E.e.hunts in San Francisco growing up, with this huge lawn and hills all around to go hunting in. It wasn't fast-paced at all, you just wanted to see what you could find, no biggie. It was, after all, just eggs*.


*actual eggs, not chocolate eggs...am I dating myself to say there were hunts involving hardboiled eggs sitting in the CA sun?

[oliversmum2000]

we did an egg hunt withou 4 of our neighbours, all of the 5 houses had hidden goddies in the garden, it worked really well, and all the good stuff was put into one big basket and shared out equally at the end, i did however help my little guy as all the other kids were bigger and a lot better at finding stuff, i hope i didnt get too excited inhelping him : i just wanted him to find some stuff too

[velochic]

You're right ICM - these are the times to model good behaviour. I can see in your post all sorts of small "temper tantrums" thrown by the adults. And we are the ones who are able to be a little more reserved. We turn around and expect children, who have yet learned how to internalize emotions, to not react to situations. You make some good observations. Adults acting like children who in turn expect their children to act like adults. Hmmmm....

[The4OfUs]

This is exactly why we didn't go to the public egg hunt this year with DS. We went about 6 years ago with our neice, and were horrified - the pushing, the shoving, the egg stealing....and the parents, oh, the parents. NOT something we want our kids to think is gonna happen with us. I htink the ONLY reason we might go to one when they're older is to point out how ridiculous and silly people can get when the proverbial carrot is dangled in front of them, even if said carrot is a silly plastic egg (or as pp mentioned, an 85 cent ice cream). We reminisced about it yesterday, and talked about how we don't think we'll ever do a public hunt with our kids, even when they're older - it's just asking for trouble, hurt feelings, potentially hurt children, and jerky parents. We'll do other fun things with them instead with either a small group of friends, or here at home. I never went to a public egg hunt as a kid and I don't feel like I missed out on anything. As I got older, my mom would tailor my "home hunt" giving me more complex written clues and riddles to get to the next egg and the next egg, and then hide the basket itself somewhere fun and silly. There are plenty of fun community events that don't entail this kind of crazed greed.

DS LOVED searching for eggs in our yard...in fact, we hid and rehid them 3 times so he could keep running around the yard putting them in his basket

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by oliversmum2000

<snip> i did however help my little guy as all the other kids were bigger and a lot better at finding stuff, i hope i didnt get too excited inhelping him : i just wanted him to find some stuff too

There's excited, which is great, and then there's just plain mean, which I've seen from others. I'm sure you weren't puching other kids down and grabbing their eggs, or screaming at your child to find more.

[Rmeg]

Surely all the kids involved in these egg hunts are the same ones who will learn that nasty, greedy behaviour from their parents?

In an old workplace of mine, we used to have a summer "family day", with free rides, bouncy castles, etc. Everything was free, for the entire day, yet I used to be SHOCKED at the behaviour of both the children and the parents, trying to grab every drink and piece of food or candy in sight. It was horrible. People used to go home with bags stuffed full of free food. These were all employees of the organisation with well-paid, pensionable jobs.

I used to make a point of discussing the nasty and greedy behaviour with my DD afterwards, just so she didn't think that sort of thing was normal.

[mythreesuns]

This is a prime example of why I avoid takink my kids to those types of social events. It is sad when adults forget that it isn't about them, and can't remember how to behave. It has become such a "me,me,me" society. Sometimes it seems as if nobody cares about anybody but themselves anymore.

[oliversmum2000]

Originally Posted by donosmommy04

There's excited, which is great, and then there's just plain mean, which I've seen from others. I'm sure you weren't puching other kids down and grabbing their eggs, or screaming at your child to find more.

ok i feel better now, i just went around with him and pointed out where some eggs were and helped him put them in his bucket

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

We some of the same experiences in the last couple of weeks. I have just finished writing nice, polite, but pointed letters to the organizers making suggestions for next year -- sections for children by age, limits on the number of eggs per person, better hiding so the kids had to search rather than snatch, more supervision, rules for parents, a list of choking hazards that shouldn't be in eggs for toddlers... those sorts of things. And in the case of our church, an offer to help with next year's hunt since I don't belief in being only a complainer. If we all took action on our frustration, maybe it would be better next time.

[PennyRoo]

Glad i happend upon this thread as it explains the terrible experience we had this past weekend when we decided on whim to take DD to an easter egg hunt in our village. We have a sad picture to show for it - she is standing there looking bewildered, with a lone egg in her basket. The adults were screaming and yelling, scooping up eggs for their kids and racing back to put them in their baskets, and perhaps most unbelievable of all - broke free before the announcer had giveen the go-ahead to begin and started a free-for-all of egg scooping. The announcer kept saying, "OK, please return the eggs and come back to the starting line - the hunt has nt yet begun." DD is a rule-abiding type and thus she stood there on the starting line and obeyed the announcer while kids and parents ran about and plundered. Finally the announcer gave up, since no one was listening or returning the eggs, so when DD actually entered the fray most of the eggs were gone.

It's pretty astonishing - what is the source this competitiveness over EGGS?

I agree with crazycandigirl, and other posters, who said that small, homemade celebrations make the best memories. We had our own wonderful egg hunt Easter morning in our house and yard, and DD's enjoyment and excitement was priceless. We now know to avoid these public egg hunt things at all cost!

BUT, I fear we have strayed rather far from ICM's original point. I do agree with you ICM! Modeling graceful behavior under less-than-ideal circumstances is hugely important. Your egg class sounds like it was hellish - sorry!