Originally Posted by DaryLLL
I'm confused and distressed by this thread.
The OP seems to have had no problem training two 8 mo babies to sit on a blanket when she was out of sight range. I find this odd b/c object permanence is shaky at best in the average 8 mo. When Mom is out of sight, Mom is gone from the face of the earth, to most children this age.
So, perhaps they developed object permanence at an abnormally young age. This I believe, is one of the disconnects here. The huge majority of babies will crawl after Mom at this age, unless conditioned by a much stronger method than, "please stay here." Ie: being violently struck and/or frightened into it.
Next: Brigianna admits her dcs had strong oral needs. She was not able to "teach" (condition) them to not put inappropriate things in their mouths for a long long time. Brig, don't you see, most mothers here can not "teach" their kids to stay on a blanket for a similar reason, by merely asking them to? Did you have to say "Please take that out of your mouth" for months and yrs on end (not 2 days)? Did the child object when the object was taken away? Did he find something else to mouth a few minutes later, when he tired of the boring old pacifier you gave as a substitute?
Babies put things in their mouths to explore their world through the senses of taste and touch.
Babies can not be trusted to stay on a blanket b/c of their need to explore their world, as well as for the instinct to be in the same room as their mother, who they see as an extension of themselves.
Now, you say both your kids stubbornly put things in their mouths for a long time, yet both at 8 mos could be trusted after 2 days of mild reproof, to stay on a blanket. Similarly, you say the toddler could be trusted to never touch the baby as well.
Do you not see the average baby can NOT be trusted to stay on a blanket (unless violent methods are used), and the average toddler can NOT be trusted to never touch a baby?
Please step out of your box of personal experience and see that your exp is not typical.
I don't know whether my experience is typical or not. I know I'm not the only parent to have used blanket training. But I'm not saying that it would work for every child. Obviously, every child is different, every parent is different, every situation is different.
I don't think my kids are all that atypical though. My dd I know is "advanced" for her age--she learned to read at 4 and thinks very logically. Ds is less mental and more physical--he's smart but he's a tactile learner. And yet both of them were able to learn staying on the blanket with very little effort. Again, I'm not saying it would work for everyone or even necessarily most people. But I don't think it's as rare as you're suggesting.
|These horrifying "containment devices" you can't even look at (perhaps you were left in them for hours as a baby) are used by the majority of mothers here to keep the baby safe for a few minutes, not to confine it as in a jail for hours at a time. Most babies can't be trusted to stay on blankets. Can you not step out of your own headspace and see that just as you could not trust your child to not mouth everything in sight, so most parents can not trust babies not to crawl off a blanket and onto stairs, or pulling to stand and then falling and clunking their head, etc (name your danger)?
I'm sure that most parents especially on a gd board like this are using the containment devices responsibly and not keeping the baby there all day, just as I didn't keep mine on the blanket all day. Actually I wasn't left in a pen as a baby, or if I was I don't remember it, but I do know that I was blanket-trained.
|And one more thing that has not been addressed is, your kids slept in "bassinets" for 8 mos, I think you said. A bassinet is a containment device. Then they moved to a bed? Alone? Did it have rails? Do you not see the sides of a bassinet as creating a containment device b/c they are woven reeds and not bars?
BTW, my kids outgrew bassinets at 4 mos. Not 8. We mostly co-slept however and I could trust my kids to sleep in the big bed for naps alone, but they would always call to me upon awaking. I understand some babies won't do this. They will crawl off the bed. Other mothers can't let their crawling babies sleep alone in the family bed at this age. I understand this is so, b/c I know all kids are different. They must put the mattress on the floor. I didn't have to but I understand others may have to.
They slept in a bassinet until about 1 (it was a big bassinet). After that they moved into a grown-up bed with guard-rails. The difference I think is in intent. The purpose of the walls of a bassinet or the guard-rails on a bed is to keep baby from rolling out of bed in his sleep, not to confine him when he doesn't want to be there. As soon as they were of crawling age they could crawl out of the bassinet when they wanted to and I didn't try to stop them. Also, bassinets and guard-rails don't look like cages. They aren't symbols of captivity. So I'm not bothered by looking at them.
Co-sleeping is a good idea but it wasn't an option for our family.