how are babies born?

[oyemicanto]

I am looking for advice! My 4 1/2 year old DD asked me howbabies are born. I was caught off guard and did not give a satisfactory reply. I'm wondering if any of you can recommend any age appropriate books so I can explain the basics to her. She is a visual learner and I think it might be helpful if we had a book to look at together.

Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

Catherine

[4evermom]

I finally showed ds a video of a baby being born because he wasn't satisfied with pictures in books and explanations. I think he was just having trouble visualizing the process even though I explained that the mama's vagina stretched so the baby could come out. It wasn't the best video, just something I was able to find online quickly. I ought to show him the video of his birth but I'm not sure I want to relive that yet.

[MamaTaraX]

Birth videos are great!
When my oldest was 4.5, he attended his little brother's birth. The two of them attended their baby brother's birth three months ago. Mykids know how babies are born
Anyway, birth videos are good and if you really want to be elaborate aout it, you can find one like "born in the USA" (I think it's called) that talks about how some babies are born vaginally and some are born by c/s too. Though talking aout c/s birth I learned is a little scary for little ones. I'm an open person and we use rela words and are straightforward about it. Tell her what you are comfortable with. "Babies grow in a mama's belly then they come out of her vagina" Kids that age aren't really looking for a complete biology lesson anyway, most of the time and probably won't even bother to ask you how the baby gets in the belly or what a vagina is (if they don't already know). HTH
ETA: If you ask my two year old how babies are born he says "in the water" It makes me smile

Namaste, Tara

[oliversmum2000]

jean leidloff - welcome with love, beautiful book about a home birth

[luckylady]

I had to explain it to my DD as well who is also 4 - she will be present at the babies birth!

I got a couple of Dr. Sears children's books, as well as "welcome with love" and a book called "Our amazing bodies" - And then we watched a video. We watched "gentle birth" video and now she's ready.

I must warn you though that when they know how they have to explain it to all of their friends. Most of my friends were OK with my DD informing their DD that babies come from vaginas, but one mom was NOT.

[ToniaStarr]

I think she is old enough to know the facts without having to worry about it so much. Kids take a surprisingly lot in striude and don't seem as freaked out by new info as we as adults are. My son was 2 when I planned a homebirth with his brother so we told him all about it. A CHILD IS BORN is a great book to show fetal development. That was a transfer but when he was 4 he saw his youngest bro be born and was really cool about it. (cooler in fact, than my 16 year old brother...ha ha)
Tonia

[Moochie Mamma]

Great ideas for explaining how the baby gets out but how do you explain how they get in??? This is the discussion I'm not looking forward to- DS knows that the baby grows from a cell in Mommy's uterus but that's it so far.

[oyemicanto]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions!

Originally Posted by Moochie Mamma

Great ideas for explaining how the baby gets out but how do you explain how they get in??? This is the discussion I'm not looking forward to- DS knows that the baby grows from a cell in Mommy's uterus but that's it so far.

I think this is part of my issue. When she understands the how of the baby growing and being born, next comes the well how the heck did it get in Mommy's uterus in the first place??? And I don't think I am well-prepared for that either, although my desire/goal is to be open and honest about sex, I don't know how well I will actually accomplish it when the time comes.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by Moochie Mamma

Great ideas for explaining how the baby gets out but how do you explain how they get in??? This is the discussion I'm not looking forward to- DS knows that the baby grows from a cell in Mommy's uterus but that's it so far.

My ds knew all about how mama's uterus makes a little nest of blood every month in case a baby starts growing there. He knew that if a baby didn't start, the blood came out the vagina and got soaked up by this handy tampon. He knew that a baby came out the mother's vagina, and he knew that a baby got started from a the mama's egg and the papa's sperm. I kept wondering when it was going to occur to him to wonder how the egg and sperm got together.

He was 4 and a half when we had the following conversation:

DS: Mama, you know how J is pregnant? Well, how did she get pregnant?

ZM: Well, DS, this might sound kind of strange, but a woman gets pregnant when a man puts his penis inside her vagina and sends some sperm into her body. And if the sperm meets up with an egg, then a baby starts to grow.

DS: Oh. Do you think we can have ice cream for dessert?

Seriously. They are not freaked out by this sort of thing unless they sense that we are. Matter of fact is the way to go. (And also realize that you're going to have to give that explanation many times, because they will forget, or not quite get it, or maybe wonder if they really heard right!)

Also, I think it's important to remember that at this age the information they are looking for (and need) is strictly technical. It wasn't until a lot later that ds associated "a man putting his penis into a woman's vagina" with anything other than a utilitarian method of producing a baby. Then we had to get into the whole, "actually, people like doing this to feel close to each other and they even do it when they aren't trying to make a baby" explanation.