helping around the house

[cravenab00]

what do you do, when kids simply refuse to help out? Well he doesnt flat out refuse. But he will whine and drag his feet and pick up maybe one thing, and drag it out until it is, bedtime, or dinner, or time to go to town. So that he knows he can get away with it.
My oldest is 8, and I have an almost 5 year old, both whom are very capable of helping. My younger boys are 3 and 19 months, I dont really expect anything of them, they are still watching and learning.

I cant do it all myself. And I want my kids to know that helping is a part of being a family. But I dont know how to get them to follow through.

As a child, (an only child) I was expected to do EVERYTHING. And cleaning came first, period. Both of my parents were (and still are) neat freaks. And I still resent that. I felt as a child that my only purpose was to clean. I dont want my children to feel like that.

I need some advice here.
thanks

[abac]

My younger boys are 3 and 19 months, I dont really expect anything of them, they are still watching and learning.

I don't have much advice other than to take advantage of their willingness to help at a young age. My ds is 24 months and puts away his own laundry, helps put dirty laundry in the washer and dryer, sweeps and mops the floor, picks up his toys, wipes the table and counters off after meals, vacuums the rug, dusts, etc. He LOVES helping out with these things and I encourage him to help whenever possible. He doesn't always do the best job, but I don't criticize what he does. So, you might want to enlist the help of the younger children who are definitely capable of helping out.

I always loved having a chore chart as a child. I used to ask my mom to make one for me. I liked being able to check things off when they were finished and I could decide when I wanted to do the chores, (as long as they were done by a certain day.)

[bellona]

I don't know for certain what would work for your kids, but I have a couple of suggestions. My ds(6yo) does better if instead of asking him to complete a task, I ask him to work for a certain amount of time. For example, instead of asking him to clean his room, I'll ask him to work on it for 5 minutes until the timer goes off. Whatever he does in that time is fine. It really helps to have a clear spot for everything. So he knows where it goes and doesn't have to even think about it.

It also helps to ask him to do different things. Instead of asking him to feed the cats everyday, some days I ask him to feed the rabbit or birds, or clean up the entry way, or spot wash the floor...you get the idea. Variety is the spice of life

Also, on a big cleaning day I'll make a list of things that need to be done and let him choose what he wants to do. He likes choosing the little jobs and marking them off when he's done.

And, if him cleaning up his stuff becomes a problem I talk to him about paring it down. I can't pick up a million toys all day, but if we only had a few it wouldn't be a big deal. When I can't pick up all of my stuff and take care of it I get rid of some. Usually though he decides that he'd rather clean it up himself.

Ultimately, I think the thing that helps the most in getting him to help out is for me to treat it like it's a normal (and even joyful) part of everyday life. In other words if I comment on the fact that I've got to do dishes for the 8th time today and I HATE DISHES he's got a bad attitude about it.

Happy cleaning