It's OK to spank when.... - Page 6

[Brigianna]

Originally Posted by snugg_bug

While visiting Japan last year, where my SIL has resided for the past 12 years as a teacher - I was fascinated to learn that the Japanese do not discipline their children till they reach the age when they start schooling. The believe that the children should be allowed to be children. It may sound impossible to never discipline and they suddenly start at age 3 or 4, but there, it works.

Would you mind elaborating on this a little bit?

[snugg_bug]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

Would you mind elaborating on this a little bit?

Your question prompted me to research this a little further. Here is one piece of information I found:

Japanese child-rearing philosophy has been more permissive since its origin in ancient Japanese folkways. In pre-modern Japanese folklore, children were thought to be close to the gods' world. An ancient Japanese saying, "nanatsu made ha kami no uchi [until seven years old, (children are) in the gods' domain]", reveals that the origin of this belief. Iijima (1991) laid out discussion on this theme in reviewing literature of Japanese folklore. According to Iijima (1991), with support of other pieces of literature in the field, the existence of children before seven (actually, before they turn six years old in the Western age counting system) is not regarded as of this side of the world, where living things reside, nor of the other side of the world; rather, children were thought to belong to subspace, or marginal space between the two worlds. Therefore, children were allowed to be free from any social restrictions. Formal initiations have been imposed after these years in the old Japanese folk society, taking the form of formal visit to local Shinto shrines, or being granted a membership of the children's group in the village.

I don't know if this is specific to what my sister-in-law was speaking of, however I will ask her as it does sound very similar. I observed that the Japanese culture is very ritualistic and that they have their own "coming of age" (similar to Western Catholicism Communion) ceremonies with children.

[Brigianna]

That is interesting, especially about the children being of the gods' domain until age 7. In most of the Christian tradition 7 is considered the "age of reason" or when children are no longer completely innocent. I wonder if any other traditions have this significance to age 7... I'll have to look into that.

I'm still not clear on the no discipline/free of social restrictions thing though. I have a hard time imagining that parents would not try to teach their kids anything at all during this time. Or does that just refer to "formal" learning?

[lilylove]

While cultural differences in discipline are very interesting, this thread is not about that. Please feel free to start a new thread.

[snugg_bug]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

....I'm still not clear on the no discipline/free of social restrictions thing though. I have a hard time imagining that parents would not try to teach their kids anything at all during this time. Or does that just refer to "formal" learning?

I am not sure on the specifics of this. I can only speak on what I personally viewed during my 2 week stay there. I did meet alot of young children, and my SIL even had a party while I was there. I found the children to be very well adjusted, polite, extremely affectionate, mature and very laid back. The kids did not "act up" (not that I witnessed) and we had spent a day with many children at an activities centre as well. Perhaps, in some respects, children are very capable of learning purley based on observation? It is a very interesting subject matter to me. I am going to look into this further, I am curious to know if there have been studies done in this regard.

[heartmama]

I do not believe that that is the established meaning based on the fact that I have never met even one person who uses those terms that way.

Well, many people here have shared otherwise.

The mod has hinted we are going off topic.

[georgia]

Ok, this mod is going to flat out state, not hint, that y'all are off-topic! Please start a new thread to discuss anything other than the original post's topic of (not) spanking in (except for) dangerous situations and the reasoning surrounding this concept.

When threads stay on topic, it makes this forum so much easier to navigate and perform searches Thanks so much for your cooperation.

[MommytoB]

From growing up in a spanking enviroment and other bad disciplines enviroment and only knowing that and not learning others I believe ppl do this because of a loss of control and do not know any other ways to discipline . I think alot ppl think kids are young adults than just kids trying to learn and reach out.

I know w/ my son I say b don't go pass the red and green pop machines .
he does really good w/ that

[Peepsqueak]

I used to believe this too to get "immediate" results and due to emergency purposes. Actually I found to avoid this alternative (spanking), I just needed to keep my child out of the position to need this....in other words they do not have the opportunity to run in the street, etc. However, this is easier said than done.


Spankers generally have it as a "last resort", learning tool, or panic attack....either way, I feel prevention is the best cure.