What do you wish you would have known beforehand? - Page 15

[DoulaSarah]

Ok, so I haven't had a homebirth yet, but I've read throught this WHOLE thread and took a long list of notes. Thank you to ALL mamas who participated!!!

I recently trained as a midwives' assistant and want to add a couple things this particular midwife likes:

1) Get some of those kiddie pop makers and make popcicles from sports drinks or coconut water.
2) Put a colored light bulb on your front porch. This particular midwife accidentally walked in to the wrong "cookie-cutter" home at 3 in the morning because the GPS was a little off!!! So, now she provides a colored light bulb to the mom at the 36-week home visit. You put it in the porch light from then on so that you don't have to remember when you go into labor. It also helps if there needs to be an emergency transfer and 911 is called. You can give an address and tell them it's the house with the green light out front.
3) Put the car seat in the car in case there is a transfer but it's not emgergent enough for an ambulance
4) Make sure whatever car you might need to take to the hospital is able to get out of the drive
5) Only your own car and the MW's car should be in the drive, everyone else should be on the street so errands can be run and people can get out in case of a transfer without having to move cars around
6) In the case of a transfer for mom, don't take baby unless baby needs care as well. Have dad bring baby as a visitor once mom is check in. Some hospitals will admit baby with mom and then not let baby go again for 24-48 hours even if mom just went for stitches and is ready to leave a couple hours later

I think that's it I can't wait for my first home birth!!!

[Theoretica]

I'm exhausted but subbing so I can make a list! Thanks ladies!

[goldenwillow]

My midwife helped us prepare and our homebirth was fabulous. The only thing I think I'd do differently is to have no visitors for awhile. My Son was born at 3:21am and we had family at our house at noon that day. I would have preferred to have more time to just "be". Good luck to you. I believe homebirth is a very spiritual moment, at least it was for us.

[Surfacing]

subbing to come back and read

[phillychiquita]

what I would want to know

1) Turn the hot water heater temp up ahead of time -- we didn't have enough hot water for the birth tub and had to boil big pots of water, cart them up stairs to get it just right

2) Stock up on depends, maxi pads and really raw honey. A Tablespoon of the really raw honey on a maxi pad helped healing and was so so soothing on my slight tear and perineum. I think I went through 5 jars of honey in the first 4 weeks, I'll have plenty around this next time.

3) Stock up on Vitamin water or some other electrolyte drinks so you can have lots of replenishment in the days following the birth and you dont get dehydrated.

4) Have a project to do in case labor takes a really long time. Nothing worse than hanging around waiting and I wished I had thought to have some stuff to do... Plan to make something (dinner for the midwife?) or have a few projects (photo album or something low stress) ready to work on if you are really just waiting and waiting.

5) After the baby comes, Stay upstairs and sequestered as long as you possibly can (my midwife made me stay upstairs for two weeks, I'll do it again this time) rest and ignore your house and guests... the bleeding will go away faster, your perineum will heal faster, and you'll feel amazing and strong and redy to go at 2-4 weeks postpartum.

[boogiebearlove]

Originally Posted by Guest*

I wish I would have made it perfectly clear to my husband where the birthing supplies were and how they were to be used. Our birth ended up being unassisted, so it would have been helpful for him to know what a receiving blanket was used for and where to find it!

Agreed! My attendants didn't really know which towels and blankets I had bought for the birth, so my daughter ended up being wrapped in a very special handmade quilt from my grandmother! Not ideal. The stains never came out because I didn't treat it in time. Of course I'm keeping the quilt, but my hubby is grossed out by the "birth stains" on it. I guess it gives it a special kind of value - but I still wish they had just used the junky towels!

[mama2six]

We just had our last homebirth 8 days ago so this is fresh in my mind! Everytime I have thought of things that I would do for the next birth -

1. Definitley make sure your husband knows where the birth supplies are (we have had 2 unplanned unassisted births!)

2. Comfortable clothes, for the day of the birth, that are easy to get in and out of (exams and getting them off in a hurry in case the birth goes quickly).

3. Clothes you want to change into after the birth, set aside. You may or may not feel up to a shower but you will probably want to get cleaned up and the midwives will want you to get up to go to the bathroom. If I had left the selection up to my husband, who knows what he would have picked out!

4. Someone besides your husband that knows who you want at the birth and how to get in touch with them, so it is easy to let them know when you want everyone called.

5. Easy to make food for the birth team, they are pretty self sufficient and you don't want to have to be the one preparing food or having to give a lot of instructions to someone on where everything is.

6. A close girlfriend, if you have someone that is close to you like that, or a sister, someone who knows your house or you can give quick instructions to. I don't know what I would have done without my best friend, she knows all of my quirks and what things are important to me, and I don't feel bad asking her for help.

7. Washclothes for the perineum during pushing. Warm washclothes are better then any drug there is during pushing!

8. Don't be afraid to call your midwife and birth assistants to just let them know what is going on, we have had 2 births that they missed because everything went so quickly.

9. Live in the moment, enjoy every part of your birth, especially how soft and warm your baby is when they are placed on your stomach immediatley after the birth.

10. Be flexible, trust your body, and remember what a wonderful thing you are doing for your baby.

[moonjunio]

I've seen a lot of suggestions that you have someone take photos and/or video, even if you don't think you want them, because you don't have to look at or watch them and you might be glad. However...

I'd just like to speak from the other side of the coin :-) I was not interested in any documentation of labor or baby coming out. I have one photo when she was put on my chest, and a few more of the first 24 hours. I am more than happy with my decision, no regrets here!

My point here is that just knowing there is a camera in the room can affect you. It's not unlike choosing who will be at the birth, it's about what kind of presence you are comfortable with.

Also, it alters the experience of whoever's taking the photos. It's not unlike going on vacation and feeling like you have to take snapshots of everything that transpires so you can share and/or never forget that moment. But the moment itself is altered by the pressure to document it.

Sometimes it's better to just put the film aside and be in the moment!

[tammyswanson]

Oops, posted on wrong page!

[bri276]

Originally Posted by moonjunio

I've seen a lot of suggestions that you have someone take photos and/or video, even if you don't think you want them, because you don't have to look at or watch them and you might be glad. However...

I'd just like to speak from the other side of the coin :-) I was not interested in any documentation of labor or baby coming out. I have one photo when she was put on my chest, and a few more of the first 24 hours. I am more than happy with my decision, no regrets here!

My point here is that just knowing there is a camera in the room can affect you. It's not unlike choosing who will be at the birth, it's about what kind of presence you are comfortable with.

Also, it alters the experience of whoever's taking the photos. It's not unlike going on vacation and feeling like you have to take snapshots of everything that transpires so you can share and/or never forget that moment. But the moment itself is altered by the pressure to document it.

Sometimes it's better to just put the film aside and be in the moment!

I agree. I don't really like or want the "money shots" of DD coming out, was upset when a relative put them in a shutterfly book with my mother's permission and severely doubt DD will enjoy looking at them when she's older. I know I'm quite content to never see those type of pictures of my own birth, personally. I'm going to have a talk with DH about seeing his 2nd daughter come out in real time and without a camera between them.

[goldenwillow]

I actually didn't want any pics taken of our birth. Our MW took pics when he was put on my chest and there after, thank goodness. I am so grateful to have those pictures. Hindsight, I would have liked to have a few of when I was in labor around the house and garden.

[babybirkel]

This is an amazing thread! Subbing for ideas. I am 10 wks and planning my first home birth, so I will need to refer to this later on!

I had a natural birth at a birth center (which was a house) and we left 6 hours after giving birth. Looking back, here is what I wish I would have known.

1. Pushing was terrifying. I don't want to scare anyone, but I thought it was awful. Our Bradley classes made it seems like relaxing through the first part of labor would be hard, and pushing would be the "fun" part, but I found the exact opposite to be true. Just relaxing through contractions wasn't bad at all, and yet I found pushing to be really, really, really intense and just really hard. But, it was my first baby, he was posterior, and 9 lbs 4 oz, so...maybe your experience would be different.

2. Breastfeeding help and support. The nurses at the birth center were not helpful AT ALL in terms of breastfeeding. They sort of halfway tried to get my son to latch, declared that I had flat nipples, said we'd try again later, and whisked him away to get weighed and whatnot. And then we never tried again. So here I was 6 hours pp, at home, not having any clue about breastfeeding, with my poor DH who knew nothing and my mom who didn't breastfeed so she wasn't much help either. I would make sure you have a really good nursing session before your midwives leave, and also have contact info for LCs/La Leche League in your area so you can get help and support in those early days if you need it. I am still super pissed that they let us leave without nursing, even though I put in my birth plan that I wanted to be skin-to-skin and nurse right away. Which brings me to my next point:

3. skin-to-skin: unless there is a medical reason, insist, and have your support person insist, that no one take the baby away from you for any reason. Skin-to-skin is super important not only for breastfeeding but also for bonding, and it breaks my heart in two that I didn't get that with my son, even though I was at a freaking birth center with a freaking midwife and had a freaking natural birth. Weighing can wait a little while. All of that can wait for a little while. Just focus on bonding and nursing.

4. Postpartum: have help other than your DP for at least a week. You and your DH should just sleep, stay in bed with baby, count fingers and toes, and fall in love with your baby. MY mom was only able to stay with us 3 days and it was not enough time, especially because breastfeeding was terrible in the beginning.

5. Depends...I used those instead of underwear because it was easier than bleeding everywhere. And take sitz baths....so wonderful for a sore bottom.

[Surfacing]

Some really great stuff on here

[Terrilein]

We haven't had our homebirth yet (due any day now), but I went through our supplies that I keep in a laundry basket in the bedroom with DP. We needed to cut up the plastic sheet that I purchased from a hardware store so we could make the bed twice and still have leftovers for mobile birth situations. I'm really glad we dealt with the plastic sheeting now instead of later: that stuff really smelled aweful and would have given us all horrific headaches. The separate pieces are still airing out on our balcony.
Also, we installed a hook thingy with a swivel and a carabiner from the ceiling in the bedroom and I attached my sling to the carabiner so that I've got something to pull on while pushing or just to help me get up. The swivel part prevents the hook from accidentally getting unscrewed out of the ceiling. Make sure it can withstand enough weight, too, as it's our weakest link in our setup.
Here are two pics demonstrating what I mean:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v8...omebirth_1.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v8...omebirth_2.jpg

[greenmamapagan]

I wish I'd known that all my preparation would actually work and my labour would be 1000 times faster than my hospy birth!

[Turquesa]

Originally Posted by babybirkel

1. Pushing was terrifying. I don't want to scare anyone, but I thought it was awful. Our Bradley classes made it seems like relaxing through the first part of labor would be hard, and pushing would be the "fun" part, but I found the exact opposite to be true. Just relaxing through contractions wasn't bad at all, and yet I found pushing to be really, really, really intense and just really hard. But, it was my first baby, he was posterior, and 9 lbs 4 oz, so...maybe your experience would be different.

I had two large, posterior babies and couldn't agree more! I didn't take Bradley classes, but it really pissed me off the Hypnobirthing did the same thing--convinced me that I could "breathe my baby down." No offense to the CBEs who post here, but I'm hoping that there's more reality-grounded childbirth education (or educators) out there.

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by Turquesa

I had two large, posterior babies and couldn't agree more! I didn't take Bradley classes, but it really pissed me off the Hypnobirthing did the same thing--convinced me that I could "breathe my baby down." No offense to the CBEs who post here, but I'm hoping that there's more reality-grounded childbirth education (or educators) out there.

I didn't enjoy pushing so much with either baby - although with dd1 it was traumatic purple pushing, with dd2 it was much better with a primal urge to push. For me, pushing is always way more painful than transition pain. I don't like it.

The thing is, I think people have different experiences. So for some, pushing is a wonderful part. For others, it's not. This is where it would be helpful to have a more rounded perspective.

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by Terrilein

Also, we installed a hook thingy with a swivel and a carabiner from the ceiling in the bedroom and I attached my sling to the carabiner so that I've got something to pull on while pushing or just to help me get up. The swivel part prevents the hook from accidentally getting unscrewed out of the ceiling. Make sure it can withstand enough weight, too, as it's our weakest link in our setup.
Here are two pics demonstrating what I mean:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v8...omebirth_1.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v8...omebirth_2.jpg

Hmmm you know what this will be good for later, after the baby is born?

[Terrilein]

Originally Posted by Surfacing

Hmmm you know what this will be good for later, after the baby is born?

We've already got some plans . . . but they're still innocent!

[Sycamore01]

Subbing so I can come back later and read. This is awesome!!!