My 5 y/o old touched his cousin's privates - Page 3

[WendyC]

Originally Posted by numom499

I think most 5 year olds know better than to touch someone elses "private area". I would be horrified if a 5 yo boy spread my daughters labia apart. PLease definitely see a therapist for your son. At what age does it become not okay to you? 5 1-2? 6? 6.5? 7? Very scary indeed.
Hugs to your niece.

I absoultly disagree. I have vivid memories of beimg 5 or 6 and playing doctor - we did things like spread our labia apart all the time too look inside and explore each others bodies. There is nothing abnormal about that.

I wonder if the hypersexualization of our culture and our children is causing this oversensitivation to a normal childhood development.

To the OP what a difficult time for your family - I feel for your little one.

[Changed]

Well, of course if you did it, it must be perfectly acceptable.

[remixrocka]

okay, everyone take a deep breath. this is a sensitive topic but i think we should all respect each other. we must remember that all that is being done on this board is speculations and none of us were there, no one is effected by the advise they give out except the OP and her family and most of us arent experts (OP please remember that).

[Changed]

My breathing is fine, thankyouverymuch.

It does not good to anyone to tell her that it's ok and we're all so sorry her son is upset.

I'm not saying that he's a bad kid or to call the police and I hope it has not been received that way. I'm saying that the concern needs to be first for the child that was hurt. Her parents have every right to be enraged! It's important to reflect on how you'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

[4evermom]

Nobody is unconcerned about the little girl or surprised her parents are upset. There is nothing the OP can do except give that family the space they need while they process this unfortunate incident. Please let this thread die now .

[Laggie]

The term "inability to urinate" seems to be vague in this context... It's not clear whether she actually could not urinate, or complained of pain when she did.

A scratch could obviously cause stinging, leading to crying etc. Of course it would not make her actually unable to pee, but it sounds like that's not what actually happened. It sounds more like the little girl freaked out when she went to the bathroom and it hurt. Of course I wasn't there so I'm making assumptions, but it does sound like the extent of the injury was exagerrated at first.

If she was actually physically unable to urinate a much greater trauma would have had to happen. And I would hope the child would have been taken to a doctor, as that would be a serious problem.

[Changed]

Unsubbing now. It's become rather obvious what was intended here and I will not participate in it.

[Cloverlove]

Originally Posted by zen-ozz

For me and my DS, the point that is the most important is the lack of communication by my bil and sil. We have not heard from them and I don't exptect that we will.

I guess I am wondering why it is up to them to call you? Maybe you could send them a letter or email? You could ask how their dd is doing. You could also explain how terrible ds feels and how he would really like to apologize, but understand if their dd needs some time. You could also let them know that your ds has been very curious about anatomy after it was explained that a baby comes out of a vagina. You could also mention any steps you are taking to see that this doesn't happen again.

I truely do feel for you. But at this point, I think it is up to you to contact them-- not the other way around.

As for if this is normal behavior... I have no idea. I only know that if ds did this when he was 5 (especially after the first time) I would be very concerned. Good luck.

[Cloverlove]

Originally Posted by my~hearts~light

Unsubbing now. It's become rather obvious what was intended here and I will not participate in it.

I'm curious, what was intended?

[zen-ozz]

Originally Posted by Cloverlove

I guess I am wondering why it is up to them to call you?

Thanks Cloverlove. I actually have called them twice and my husband called them once. I called them back the night that the incident occurred to offer my sincerest apologies and to let them know that I was taking it very seriously. I called the next day to see how neice is doing and to express that DS was very concerned that she was hurt. And DH called today (at my request) to again see how they were all doing (sil could not talk because she had company and as far as I know has not called back).

I agree it would be good to let them know what steps I have taken with DS (and DD for that matter) in terms of ensuring this doesn't happen again. But at this point I feel like it is best to give them time. We have reached out and now is time to wait.

I agree with PPs who suggest it may be time to let this thread die. I really am thankful to all for your help through this tough time for us. I feel like DS will be ok and I hope that our neice is okay and the relationships heal.

[Wolfmeis]

redundant

OP I agree with you on all counts.