Please help me deal with my DS!

[AutumnMama]

Hi Mamas, I have a 4 year old DD and a 2 year old DS.
Well, DS is...I don't know, I guess more high-spirited?
He started SCREAMING at the top of his lungs about a year ago, just because he thought it was fun!
Not so fun for Mama!

So we've gone back and forth with the screaming, it's gotten better, but lately he has been doing it more.

He mostly does it when he's frustrated/angry, doesn't get what he wants, etc.

He's really been bad about taking things away from his sister. If he sees her with anything, and I do mean anything--toys obviously, but even clothes, things that he knows are hers..if she's sitting in a chair he feels like he needs to sit in *that* chair and no other will do!

So, he gets it into his head that he wants something from her and he grabs it and yanks it away..if she doesn't let go (and I don't blame her, poor thing) right away he shrieks and screams and screams!
And if that doesn't work he hauls off and smacks her square in the face

I feel like I've tried everything; redirecting, telling him that that belongs to DD, finding him one of his own, etc, etc.
Sometimes some of these things work, but it's really more or less a crap shoot as to what will work, and even if anything will.

I've started really losing my patience with him alot. I feel like it's been so long, and he *knows* that "we don't take away", "we don't hit" etc.

I hate feeling so frustrated with him, I know that raising my voice/yelling at him isn't good or healthy, but I've been finding myself doing that alot lately.
There are also times where I'm not gentle physically when I'm trying to take him away from a situation

I just feel like this past year I've come so far from both the mother that I was before and the mother that I know I want to and should be.

Please help me!

[AutumnMama]

Bumping from the second page....anyone?

[Teensy]

Oh boy. Don't you wish kids came with a volume control!

Do you use time outs? Would something along the 1-2-3 Magic method help? If he doesn't quiet down at 1 or 2, it's off to a time out at 3.

I've had loud boys too. In the car is the worst.

Good luck. Maybe someone else has better ideas.

[Joannarachel]

My DS is 18 months and in the screaming phase too :

What I find works for him when he gets into those fits is not a time-out per se because I don't consider it punitive...but a seperation time.

For example, when he started acting up in the restaurant the other day, we went into the bathroom to have a talk and just let him sit with me for a while....

[twinkletoes]

I have the reverse child arrangement - a 4 yr old boy and a 2 yr old girl. I NEVER imagined I would say this, but it's *different*. Playdates with 2 year old girls, while they can escalate to bloodshed, seem to have had a much less passionate and violent nature, with us and our friends at least. The behaviour you describe from your son sounds very familiar, and my boy has now turned into the sweet considerate and well-behaved child I always knew he had in him. It really helped us to institute the Barbara Coloroso standard rule of "You Hit, You Sit" & then once he calmed down we'd tell him how he could get what he wanted/ask for a turn/express frustration without hurting someone else. The simplicity of it really helped me get through the nutty frustration of it all (I understand hauling your child off someone else by the scruff of it's neck : not what I imagined I'd be doing!!) and the regularity and predictability of it seemed to guide him out of the chaos too. It will feel hopelessly ineffective at first, but keep at it.

and RUN them, like puppies, screaming songs at the top of your lungs in some outdoor private area because yelling is NOT allowed indoors or in cars, NOT SAFE, mommy might flip her lid! Anyhow, you're just in the worst of it, figure out a couple tricks and be consistent with them and you'll all come out of this just fine.

[Treece]

Wow, I was going to start a thread along these lines.... Thanks, for your help. BTW, my ds is also 18.5 months. Goodness his screams can be so LOUD!! :