long sort of related question
sorry for popping in the end of the thread without time to read the whole thing... benadryl, eh. my ds is supposed to take it (or something like it) every day for various autoimmune crap (not saying I DO- just saying i'm 'supposed to', & that he certainly gets it when he needs it. no big whoop, no noticable side effects. i thought you guys were talking about dosing babies with laudanum or something.)
here's my dilemma. my 5 yr old ds has developed this terrible fear somehow of flying (he has 4 times, but in utero, so uh, he didn't get to make the choice and wasn't much bothered that i could tell.) fil wants to take everyone to fla on a plane, & ds is making it adamantly clear he doesn't want to go because of sheer terror. (he's been weirdly afraid of other stuff, like swings, & wasn't ever forced to, & now wonders why he was afraid, because it's so fun. he lost years of swinging and is a bit sadabout that. and he gets the analogy. he is able to comprehend conquering fear, he's not an infant.)
i'm getting some flak from fil ('oh, we'll talk about it later' when he means we should bully him into it, when i know my ds, & he would be screaming & needing 4 people to subdue him, they wouldn't BRING him on a plane like that.)
it is coming time to buy the tix, & i don't know what to do. driving just me & him & meeting them there is an option, but a) it is a LONG way, i drive it every few months as it is & would prefer to skip it if i had an actual choice like free air tickets, & b), the way the drivers are on 75, it is taking our lives in our hands everytime i go down there as it is. it is insane, dozens of near-misses that only quick responses and alertness can avoid (and after 18 hours- which with small children is necessary, gas & stops- my alertness is getting a little ragged. 90 mph for 800 miles- eesh.) i'm not unwilling to drive, & he is begging me to, but i don't want to contemplate possible death unnecessarily when two hours on a plane, IF he could deal with it, would get us there safely.
i have to admit, i'm wondering if there is a safe child-size dose of valium (or something, geez, i don't drug kids, i don't know what 'safe'ish drugs they use to chill kids out when they need to, & surely sometimes they need to?). i am flummoxed (and would just opt out if it was just a lousy vacation with my fil, except that my dd lives down there & driving or flying is the only way her brothers can get to see her. we all miss each other v much & i don't want them to grow up & forget her
i knew you guys would have some ideas, & i need to either tell fil never mind OUR tickets, let dh take the baby, & i'll go get the car tuned up, sigh, or think of SOMETHING. it could be a little special trip with just me & the boy, right? urg. if anyone has any 'descarify' ideas beyond the cognitive therapy dh & i use to deal with our own rampant phobias (except i am agoraphobic, so i go out regularly. dh is afraid of insects, so he forces himself to go outside for short times & not run away screaming. how do i apply this to flying? we showed him movies 'the big airplane', etc, we've talked, we can pretend to board, we have discussed what it is that frightens him in depth, & NO GO) could use them about now.
if this was a different board i could jokingly ask about now if they make child-size xanax, but i am going to get flamed by some for even THINKING about coercing that poor child on a plane (never mind that even my most crunchy granola liberal relatives- except for dh, he's with me- think i am coddling him by considering driving him rather than make him go against his wishes.) sigh.
best case scenario, my ds decides to tough it out & decides it's not so bad (i told my fil a big plane without turbulence, none of this commuter flight bs because he's deciding to get cheap for boy's first flight) sans drugs. how do i get from here to there? (worst case, we die in a fiery car crash like the three accidents i saw on my last drive home! you see why xanax doesn't sound so crazy?) does anyone think i ought to ask one of those dreadful allopathic drs for their advice? (shannon or blessed, are ya around?)
help! i don't want a scared boy, or a drugged boy, or a boy that doesn't get to see the sister who loves him more than anyone in the world! WHAT in the HELL should i do? if i make no decision soon, fil buys the tickets & i will feel massive pressure to just get the poor kid on board (not that i necessarily will, but with tickets bought, oh, you betcha there will be pressure.) ack.