The great schooling debate...

[JamesMama]

It was always our plan to homeschool James, but I'm very unsure of my abilities to do it properly. I want James to have an excellent education and I'm not sure if I could handle that, I'm not really smart and I really have no idea how to 'school' him. I'm sure I'd learn, but I'd rather not 'wing it' at something so important. I think homeschooling is wonderful, and I have the utmost respect for mama's and dad's who are able and confident in their abilities to school their child, but I'm not so sure.

ANYWAY, I do not like the public school in my area, it's one of the better ones in the area, but it still has it's problems so I'd rather put James in the private Christian school (which is why I'm stressing about this already, the private school has a list and you need to get on the list 3 years ahead of time to 1) ensure a spot and 2) stay up to date on tuition changes and other goings on at the school, so I'd need to work on getting him on the list in the next year, if I decide to enroll him in the preschool)

The private school is the best school in the area, they have an almost 100% graduation rate (of students that remain at that school 9-12, some transfer to the public school and drop out from there), they are top in all testing, they offer a lot of options for good classes, they have an excellent high school to college rate. It is just all around an excellent school.

BUT, it's VERY expensive, the do not offer much by way of tuition assistance, they do not teach evolution (which as a Christian, I'm not sure I agree with that theory, but I would like James to learn it at least), they intigrate God into every subject and I'm not 100% sure what the doctrine is for their religion, i'm pretty sure it is reformed, DH and I are not reformed, we're Pentacostal but I have known Pentacostal people who sent their children there.

With homeschooling I would have supreme control over what James learned, I could let him go at his own pace, study whatever strikes his fancy, intrigate things that interest him, take field trips as part of our lessons (Science Center, hospital, art center, botanical center, wildelife refuge, forest, pond, etc, etc) and pick up and leave off as needed for his personallity (within reason). It would probably be cheaper (Private school is over $2000 for a year of kindergarten, almost $3000 a year 1st-8th and almost $5000 a year for 9-12)

BUT, I really doubt my abilities, our family is up in arms at our desire to homeschool (he won't get socialized, he won't know any of the kids even if we put him in sports, he won't have any friends, he won't know how to act around kids, etc, etc)

There is a homeschool group in my town, they meet once or twice a month. My aunt, who homeschools her kids, is on me to drop in with James sometime and get some information from other homeschooling parents. I plan on talking to a young woman in my church who was homeschooled and see what she thinks and what she is planning on doing with her little one (she is in labor as we speak...or possibly holding her baby, not 100% sure)

Any advice?

[raleigh_mom]

First, be sure to move this to the homeschool forum, or to post there. Many wise mamas will have wonderful words of support for you, and lots of info. And lots of great come backs for those pesky nay-sayers. Oh, and look for threads about "why I love homeschooling", too.

Second, I definately think you should go to the homeschool group and talk face-to-face with other parents in your area. It is an excellent way to find out more about homeschooling. As a bonus, I found that having my kids know lots of other homeschool kids helps them realize that homeschooling is perfectly normal. Some of our friends go to "away school" and some homeschool.

"BUT, I really doubt my abilities, our family is up in arms at our desire to homeschool (he won't get socialized, he won't know any of the kids even if we put him in sports, he won't have any friends, he won't know how to act around kids, etc, etc)"

Many families face this same issue. Lots of people will challenge a decision to homeschool. Work on your own confidence about whatever decision you make. After that, your child - your decision. In fact, he can get socialized, he can get to know lots of other kids, he can play sports, he can have tons of friends, and he can know how to act around others.

[`guest`]

It sounds like from your post, you would like to try homeschooling? The schools don't sound too interesting.
I put my children in school, but I have peace of mind coz the school is excellent, my son is so excited to go each day. If I didn't have that I might homeschool as well.
It is a big commitment and a big decision. I echo the above poster to check out the homeschooling forum for advice on materials, socialization, etc. Homeschoolers sometimes come across rather strongly (and that turned me off it=too much like zealotry sometimes). But I guess they feel passionately about what they do.
Good luck with this decision, and I hope if you do homeschool, you enjoy the process and have fun with it!

[CryPixie83]

First, I totally understand your worries, my mom had them when she pulled me out of public school. So, we found a heavily structured homeschool program. At first we went with CLASS (Christian Liberty Academy Satellite Schools) The provide all the text books, tests, teacher guides for each text and answer keys as well as assistance via telephone. However, they are heavily indoctrinated, every subject, even math was religion-based (the 7th grade science book had a chapter on evolution vs creation, favoring creation) so this is not the school for every family.

However, there are non-religious schools who provide the same level of support and guidance without the religious overtones. Oak Meadow comes to mind, as does Clonlara (which is also used by unschooling families I believe to keep student records).

So please, don't think homeschooling your children means you will be alone. There are many wonderful sources of support, guidance, resources and understanding to be found!

[RiverSky]

I think you should sign your child up for the private school now. You still have three years to decide whether you will drop your child off the list or not. Just sign up, then if you change your mind and want to send your child there in a year or two, it won't be too late.

In the meantime, read more books on homeschooling. Definitely go to the Homeschool Group meetings and get-togethers. Our homeschool group has quite a few families that have no children who should even be in kindergarten yet and they are very active in all that we do. Our group also meets once per week and sometimes more. There are tons of homeschool classes in our town, art, sports, science, math, etc., are there perhaps some of these events in your area as well? It's great that you have a relative who is "in the know" about homeschooling and can help guide you as to what is available, but don't let her be your only resource. Even if the group you join only meets once per month, chances are that you could change that, by suggesting an extra playground day or setting up an extra field trip every couple of months...chances are other members will take your lead and also become more active.

Good luck in your decision.

Personally, we now realize that no school, no matter how good it seems or how great the graduation and college ratios are, would work for us, that the main reasons we aren't in school have nothing to do with that. It's the lack of personalized attention, the lack of family time, the poor socialization skills learned from other children in school, that we (and our children themselves) can do what the schools do regarding education even better, that for extra learning and extra experiences, there are plenty of classes and field trips and events that the children can engage in to add interest and other experiences to their learning. You may find differently for yourself but for now, just sign up for the private school and spent the next few years really figuring out what you think will be best for you.

We actually tried institionalized school for a year before we decided that indeed, homeschooling was for us. Good luck!

[JamesMama]

Thanks, I'll check into signing up for the school, I'm not 100% for sure but I think they might require you to pay the 'registration' fee when you sign up.

I guess I can see so many better things I can spend $50,000 on...a house for one...or his college education.

RiverSky, I agree with you, even the private school has an average class size of 20.7 students...the smallest class has 14 the largest has 27 students, I would rather James have more one on one attention.

[ChristaN]

The other thought that comes to mind for me is a certain school may not be the best for your child even if it has the best test scores, grad rates, etc. Our girls currently attend the school in our district that is considered to be "the best" and it has, for the most part, been a very poor fit for at least my older dd.

While my older dd is very bright, I honestly believe that the best fit of schools for her would not be one that pushes high ability kids to achieve more and has higher test scores. In retrospect, I could have told you that when she was your ds's age, but it didn't occur to me that the baby who never had a schedule, the toddler who was intently focused on her projects and had a hard time with transitions, the preschooler who had extreme passions and dislikes would turn into the second grader who doesn't fit in in a standard classroom at a school with high test scores. What she needs is more of an alternative, creative, free spirit type of school. For us, there is a school that would totally fit that bill, but it is located 45+ minutes from our house, is private and the tuition is $14,000/yr/child. Since that just isn't viable for us, we are still trying to figure out what is.

What I am getting at here, is that you should definitely look at more aspects of the schools than the easily quantifiable numbers. The best school for your child, should you decide to go that route, may be hiding behind some lower scores.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by JamesMama

Thanks, I'll check into signing up for the school, I'm not 100% for sure but I think they might require you to pay the 'registration' fee when you sign up.

Yes, there might well be a fee, but hopefully it's not more than $250? Perhaps less than $100? It might be nil, they might not charge fees until closer to the enrollment date. That would definitely be something to call and ask about, though.

[alegna]

IMO that sounds like a BAD school. Their whole philosopy is our way is the only way and you can't disagree. Test scores and graduation rates mean very little IMO. And tuition-wise it's going to vary based on your area. There is NOTHING that cheap around here. Nothing. The cheap pre-schools are $5000+ The expensive K-12 schools are around $20,000 a year.

good luck!

-Angela

[USAmma]

Whatever you decide, don't let it be because you feel that you lack the ability to give your child a good education at home. I am not a trained teacher but I feel that my dd is getting an excellent education already. There are so many resources and curriculums available to help anyone to teach their child.

I know my child best, inside and out. I know when she's having a good day or bad day and can adjust the teaching accordingly. I can make her education customized according to her needs and desires.

In addition I have found some great materials to teach her with. She's doing so well with homeschooling. It's not as hard as you think it is, especially if you start homeschooling from the beginning of your child's education (you won't have to undo anything).

Most states have charter schools now. That might be something to look into. They are free to taxpayers but they have different "flavors" that might appeal to you and/or your child. For example just in my area they have one that focuses on hands-on learning with small class sizes. Another one is more old-school style with uniforms and they teach classical material. Another one teaches the children 1-3 days a week and the parents choose what classes and how long they will be in school. They do the rest of the material at home.