Down sides of being a LLL leader?

[alexsam]

I was considering becoming a La Leche League leader... Due to scheduling conflicts, I haven't been able to go all that often lately, but the area is looking to expand and create new meetings. I am fairly familiar with LLL stances on various things, and though I have a personal perspective that is occasionally different, I understand their rationale and believe that I would be able to get behind their advice and give it, even if it is not what I choose myself (such as supporting a mother who might have issues with covering and modesty and comfort, as compared to me who is a let-it-all-hang-out kind a girl for example). And barring the occasional bouts of foot-in-mouth disease I'm pretty good at communicating and organizing (from my former life as a teacher) and I am enthusiastic about being able to contribute to an area that I am passionate about.

So, what I am asking from you all out there is: what are some flip-sides of the coin that I should consider about being a leader? Is there anything I should know or think about? What is the "down side"?

Thanks!

[bobandjess99]

weeeeelllllll..for me, the biggest stumbling block is the fact that they officially do NOT condone unassisted births. In fact, they specifically condemn them. Hacing had my first UC and planning to have the rest UC, that is about the only thing that annoys me.

[mama24-7]

I was unaware of this fact about the UC. My only knowledge of their stance on birth is that the mother should be an active participant. More info please.

Sus

[bobandjess99]

it's a tiny blurb in their leaders handbook....I am not a leader, and therefore do not have the book to look it up, but a friend of mine did......you would never even know it unless you were a leader who had carefully read her materials (or have a friend who was nice enough to share the blurb with you!). It does go into the whole thing about what they can and can not do, they can encourage mothers to be active participants, be informed, choose midwives or homebirths, etc, but it specifically says that they do NOT support unassisted birthing as a birthing choice and can not recommend or condone it in any way.
I'm sure it is a legality thing..if they were to condone it and something happened, they could get their butts sued and possibly face charges of some sort.....and that would be the end of LLL for good....so i understand why they take that stance..they have to protect themselves....it just irks me of course.

But that aside, i still think LLL is a great organization and am hoping to become a leader when i am eligible....

[paquerette]

I think the thing that stops me from seriously thinking about it is that you cannot mix causes. I could never in good conscience commit myself to a venture where I would not be allowed to say what I think about various topics such as circ.

[Past_VNE]

We move too frequently for me to consider being a leader. However, paquerette's reason is the one that irks me the most and is why I would never do it even we didn't move.

To me, one can NOT separate natural parenting from breastfeeding. I kind of understand it from their perspective, but I wholeheartedly disagree.

I think I would be unable to keep my mouth shut about circumcision or CIO or spanking or something like that.

(and on that note, I saw a poor little circ'ed boy at LLL a few weeks ago. I was aghast and cried when I got home. I had never seen one before.)

[kalisis]

LLL doesn't condone necessarily *any* kind of birth, is my understanding. What they do condone is supporting the mother in her choice regarding it. Birth is sort of tangential to their main goal which is to inform, educate and support breastfeeding mothers.

The thing about mixing causes - as a leader, you are free to believe anything you believe and stand up for those beliefs. You are, however, not allowed to do it on LLL time (meaning meetings or anywhere you 'officially' represent LLL). This one gave me real pause, but as I understand it, as long as I am not so and so, LLL leader, but rather so and so, the person, I am allowed to say what I want to say (which would preclude me from blurting out a personal opinion in the middle of a meeting - but if it's that important to me, I could, sometime later, give someone say a pamphlet or hand out for a different meeting concerning that subject - does that make sense?) And just to set the record straight, LLL doesn't condone either CIO or spanking - they encourage co-sleeping and their words for gentle discipline are "loving guidance".

For me, I think the flip side is that it *is* a lot of work. There are regular group meetings and then leader meetings and then county wide leader meetings and then education seminars and then conferences and it goes on and on. No, you don't have to attend all of it, but it helps if you can.

I also think that it's very difficult to lead if your DC is a toddler. I don't know how my leaders do it as some of them have two little ones. It just seems so hard for them to keep focused on the topic at hand while also keeping their kid from bopping another kid on the head with a toy. It's definitely something to think about if your kids are younger.

Otherwise, I think LLL does a great service to the community and they need as many dedicated souls as they can get.

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by anniej

LLL doesn't condone necessarily *any* kind of birth, is my understanding. What they do condone is supporting the mother in her choice regarding it. Birth is sort of tangential to their main goal which is to inform, educate and support breastfeeding mothers.

The thing about mixing causes - as a leader, you are free to believe anything you believe and stand up for those beliefs. You are, however, not allowed to do it on LLL time (meaning meetings or anywhere you 'officially' represent LLL). This one gave me real pause, but as I understand it, as long as I am not so and so, LLL leader, but rather so and so, the person, I am allowed to say what I want to say (which would preclude me from blurting out a personal opinion in the middle of a meeting - but if it's that important to me, I could, sometime later, give someone say a pamphlet or hand out for a different meeting concerning that subject - does that make sense?) And just to set the record straight, LLL doesn't condone either CIO or spanking - they encourage co-sleeping and their words for gentle discipline are "loving guidance".

For me, I think the flip side is that it *is* a lot of work. There are regular group meetings and then leader meetings and then county wide leader meetings and then education seminars and then conferences and it goes on and on. No, you don't have to attend all of it, but it helps if you can.

I also think that it's very difficult to lead if your DC is a toddler. I don't know how my leaders do it as some of them have two little ones. It just seems so hard for them to keep focused on the topic at hand while also keeping their kid from bopping another kid on the head with a toy. It's definitely something to think about if your kids are younger.

Otherwise, I think LLL does a great service to the community and they need as many dedicated souls as they can get.

The part about condoning birth..you are right, they do not specifically condone any certain type...BUT, the ONLY type of birth they actually CONDEMN is unassisted. So it's not even like they are saying..do what you feel is best, etc...they are saying that ANY attended birth is okay while UC is not....gggrrrr...but, I LOVE that they try to make mothers aware of how certain birth choices/interventions can impact breastfeeding...which i think is AWESOME!!! So many moms aren't necesarily thinking about what effect that epidural or non-medically-necesary C/S might have on a BF relationship......
I **do** understand how not mixing causes is probably the best choice.....they are supporting breastfeeding..and from what i understand, some groups are fairly "crunchy" and others are actually fairly mainstream......but they all support breastfeeding.....I know that here in town we have 2 groups, and each group has a couple leaders that share responsibilities...and they all have WAY DIFFERENT personalitites......one is an older hospital LC who is way too mainstream for my taste, all the way to a young mom with no formal training but like 4 kids she has BF. Where the one might tell a mom to supplement or "listen to the doctor" the other will say "DON'T supplement, your doc is crazy, here's what you can try". I personally like the "crunchier" leaders best

All of the leaders except the much older one have young kids...the one has like toddler twins and 2 preschoolers and is pregnant! She never has problems running the meeting. All the kids run around and play!

[bobandjess99]

[QUOTE=Past_VNE]

I think I would be unable to keep my mouth shut about circumcision or CIO or spanking or something like that.

QUOTE]

LOL, i hear ya!! Right now i am a social worker, and there are days i just want to scream........(like right now it is "national immunizatiuon week!: ) BUT, i do feel i make small diffferences.....
For example, part of my job is to make sure parents are doing their vaxxes (puke)...BUT, how i go about it is this..i **ask** them IF they are vaxxing...most of them look at me like i have two heads because they honeslty don't know it is a CHOICE. Then, i get to tell them about exemptions and why "some" parents don't vaccinate. Most of them still do, but I know i at least planted seeds of knowledge in a lot of moms who never would have ever thought twice about it......

I also do things like ask them IF they are going to birth in the hospital or at home, and can paint ff by choice in a really bad light..like "ok then, well, i'll check on you in a couple days and if you run into ANY probelms with the breastfeeding, call right away, because we don't want to have to give your baby any of that nasty formula that will upset his tummy and give him colic, right?"


makes my job worth it

[firstkid4me]

What are the requirements for becoming a LLL leader? The leader back in Green Bay said I would be a good one.

It's funny that pp are saying that leaders can't mix causes, because my old leader would officially close the LLL meeting, and then give her opinion on certain things. I think this way she could say, "Ok, I'm taking my leader hat off and I'm just talking as myself." I think this is a smart move and something those of you who would otherwise be a good leader could do.

[Past_VNE]

Jess, I hereby proclaim you:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BEST
SOCIAL WORKER
IN THE WORLD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

[Durannie]

Originally Posted by firstkid4me

What are the requirements for becoming a LLL leader? The leader back in Green Bay said I would be a good one.

Hope this link helps:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/leader.html

[Hayes]

There is the official LLL party line and there is the way I feel about things. I have never let me personal opinions be silenced during a meeting. occassionally,. a mom will begin bashing a particular doctor or midwife. I simply speak aup and say it isn't allowed.

If someone talks about circ, I speak up adn say, This is my opnion, not LLL's official stance, and then tell them the stats, etc. I've never had a problem. although I might now!

[memory maker]

I was a leader for almost 3 years. The problem I had was that people think that because you are a leader that they can call you at ANY TIME. I had calls when I was in bed. Some might not have a problem with this, but I really dont like the phone ringing at 10:00 pm when I have 3 kids asleep and I was asleep myself. Also I have 3 kids and do daycare in my home, so it was hard for me to find a good time to talk to moms to give them my fullest attention because one of the kids would always need something. And my kids are not the best with me on the phone.

[MidwifeErika]

One of the things about being a LLL leader that can be the most difficult is that you are there to support all breastfeeding mothers, no matter where they are in breastfeeding. For some it isn't difficult to do, but for others it can be difficult when someone wants information on things such as how to wean their young baby or some such thing. So, depending on your personal biases, it can be difficult to put them aside. I have known some leaders that have a hard time giving out information on expressing milk while mother works because of their personal feelings on the issue, some have a hard time with moms looking for how to cut down night time feedings, some have a hard time with weaning discussions, some have a hard time with mother's who nurse their children for long, long, long times... etc. So, before becoming a leader I think one needs to look at their own personal feelings and see if they can put them aside to help out mamas who need it, even if they make different decisions than the leader would.

I thought the mixing causes thing would be more difficult than it is. It isn't that hard because certain discussions LLL has no official stance on it, so that is an easy way to put an end to the whole discussion, "LLL has no official stance on this topic, nor is it something that we should be discussing as part of our meeting. If you wish to have this discussion, you are free to stay after the meeting is over to talk it over further" and then you can always give your own personal opinion on it later. I am actually glad of the mixing causes thing, because it helps more women get help on the breastfeeding issues. They won't feel turned away because they don't agree with the leader on issues such as circumcision, vaccinations, homeschooling, homebirthing, etc. It helps more women fit in and so then more women get the help they need to keep on breastfeeding their babies. Besides, what if a leader was pro-circumcision and then they were allowed to mix causes and promote it? Sometimes you gotta look at the flip side to see the positive in a rule

[kalisis]

Originally Posted by hotwings640

Besides, what if a leader was pro-circumcision and then they were allowed to mix causes and promote it? Sometimes you gotta look at the flip side to see the positive in a rule

What an awesome point!

[DBZ]

For things like keeping a kid vax free, uncirced, cloth diapered and all those other things that aren't promoted by LLL all it takes is for one member to bring it up. I learned at the last meeting that LLL isn't allowed to recommend a pediatrician, so when one member was looking for one and one other mom was raving about hers, I asked that mom to say the name. She could because she wasn't a leader.

However I do feel that the meetings should pretty much be kept on the subject of BFing. There are mainstream moms who wander into meetings and need the BF support. I don't want to see them scared off. At my first meeting, my LLL mentioned cosleeping, gentle discipline and other things that LLL supports. She also told me about MDC. MDC filled in the gaps that she couldn't as a LLL leader. That recommendation changed the whole dynamics of my family profoundly, because before I went to LLL I was 90 % mainstream. I never did CIO, but everything else pretty much was mainstream. Well I would have never circed a boy.


Kara

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

weeeeelllllll..for me, the biggest stumbling block is the fact that they officially do NOT condone unassisted births. In fact, they specifically condemn them. Hacing had my first UC and planning to have the rest UC, that is about the only thing that annoys me.

I can't find any information that confirms this. I've looked through the books and found no reference to UC. I've known one LLL Leader that had an unassisted birth.

[Fiercemama]

The hardest part of being a leader for me is that I have lost my own monthly meetings! I must put my own bfing experience to the side. My job is to help bfing mothers find their own solutions, not to tell them what I did. I am very selective in what I talk about from my own experience, because some of it was VERY extreme. Most of the time, its just not helpful or constructive to share. DD is just about weaned, and until my co-leaders and I get together for a face-to-face planning meeting, I am dying to talk to some other mamas about it, just let it all hang out, without worrying about what kind of message I am sending. On line groups are great, but sometimes I really miss having that series meeting support.

I find the workload very manageable. We aim to put things into "mother sized tasks". But we have a group with 4, soon to be 5 co-leaders. Even just having one other leader makes a HUGE difference. Being a lone leader IS a lot of work. It can also make a difference if there are other groups in your area, as you can work together on some things such as planning meetings or fundraising. My DD is 4, and does not come to meetings with me, though she loves to come to other League events. I made a decision to start my application when she was 2 and no longer night nursing.

I would like to say that there are wonderful resources during the accreditation process to help you develop communication skills, know how to handle a situation that is in conflict with your own personal biases or beliefs, and also to work through your own bfing experience. The communication skills workshop I did was outstanding, and been a benefit in all areas of my life.

As to the phone calls, in my area (a big city), ALL the leaders here are getting fewer and fewer phone calls. I've actually only ever had one call to my home from a group mother. I have a monthly shift to pick up calls from our metro phone line, and there has been more than one shift when there have been no messages - more and more mothers are just going on line, or come to our meetings as soon as they find our meeting info on line.

It sounds like your area has a need for more leaders and groups. Get together with your local leader and ask HER what is challenging. Perhaps there is an "interested mothers" meeting coming up you can attend, to find out what's involved and how other leaders or leader applicants have dealt with their challenges. Sounds to me like you have skills and passion to share with other mamas!

[rozzie'sma]

Their newest edition of the Womanly Art 7th edition states Page 19 "You do need a doctor or trained midwife attending the birth of your baby but this is similar to having a lifeguard on duty in case there are complications."
So yeah it looks like they are against UC.

Personally the biggest problems I face in my journey to become a leader are the issues mentioned above. However, you can state that circ interrupts the breastfeeding relationship at a critical time. Circ'd boys have more issues with latch problems by far.