Children and adult nudity - Page 2

[veganmamma]

Um... is it wrong for kids to see their naked parents from birth till death in tribal communities where everyone is moslty or partly naked all the time? I don't think so. In America the human body is so oversexualized it's disgusting. Is it wrong for chimps to see their parents privates?? We are animals and clothes are only not optional in this society because of our Euro/Victorian roots. It's just a human body. We have been conditioned to cover it up, but it is only important to cover up to keep warm. (Or to look cute, in my case ) I don't understand why everyone makes a big deal. I only started being uncomfortable around my single dad when he was naked at the time another family member who had been abusing me began making comments about my budding sexuality, I was 9 and starting puberty.) My dad actually recognized that it wasn't normal. It's NOT normal to be uncomfortable, and while it doesn't mean your child is being molested, it does mean that somewhere they are being conditioned to think the human form is inherently sexual. In some ways the human form is sexual, but it is also purely animal, and the sexual parts of our nature are natural. =) Mother Nature has many imbedded safeguards against incest. They have done studies and family members recognize each others' smells and actually prefer the smells of other people. We secrete fairmones to ward off our family members. We were born to be nude. My child will be at ease with the human form. She will be co-sleeping as long as she wants. Should I come up with an age for DP to cover himself up? Or me for that matter? We all sleep pretty close to nude or nude. It's comfortable that way, most people agree. Anyway, we're no different from other animals.
Lauren

[LunaMom]

I think most people here used the individual feelings of the child or parent as a gauge. Veganmama, you are right when you say that being uncomfortable with nudity is due to the oversexualization of the human body, but the truth of the matter is that people DO feel uncomfortable regardless of whether or not they SHOULD, so I think that it is appropriate for people to respect their own and others' feelings. While I didn't necessarily agree with my dh's need to cover up when dd was so young, I would never argue with him. It's his body and he has the right to keep it private if he wants to. Just as I don't want my dd to feel that she needs to uncover her body in front of anyone if she doesn't want to, KWIM?

There are a lot of things "wrong" with society, and the oversexualization of the human body is certainly one of them, but unfortunately we need to keep ourselves and our children safe, so in our culture, teaching a certain degree of modesty is not such a bad thing. Just my $.02!

[Yinsum]

I voted other. I agree it has to be what's comfortable for the family. In our home we are all comfortable with nudity. Maybe sometimes too much.
After the recent snow storm, my 9yr old came in from playing in the snow. He stood in the doorway and stripped down to nothing so as not to wet up the floor. It didn't phase him that kids from the neighborhood were out, about and possibly looking through the glass door. I just closed the wood door and said nothing. Our children don't see their bodies as something to feel shameful about. When they start to have feelings of modesty, we will respect those feelings.

[lorijds]

Our girls, 4 and 7, are not uncomfortable being naked in the house, no matter who is here (friends of ours that htey haven't seen for a long time, their friends, just us, whoever). They still want to be naked in the yard, but we have some funky neighbors, and I am not comfortable having my greasy neighbor peering over the hedge watching my naked kids play!

I have noticed that, in my intimate circle of friends, people we have been friends with for ever, at least since we have had kids, the kids are the same. When their kids come over, they have no problem stripping down to change into dress up clothes. But now that older dd is in school, and younger is in preschool where they have met new friends, when these friends spend the night or play, I notice that they are modest around us. I have no idea how my children are at their houses!

Our house is 800+ square feet, with one bathroom and two bedrooms. Dh changes clothes in front of the girls, they don't even blink twice. We kind of feel like our house is too small to be very modest!!

[mamaofthree]

I think being nude around children is fine, as long as it doesn't bother the children, or child. My dd is ok with being nude around us, but gets all gigglily and silly if she sees us nude. The boys could care less at this point.
I think as soon as someone feels uncomfortable with nakedness it should stop.

HEATHERH

[jenniferB]

as we get older

something also to consider is the other end of the spectrum of life. parents will get older, god willing, and often will need someone to take care of them. this often includes diaper changing. i'm sure we all know instances of this and the awkwardness of a daughter having to undress and clean her elderly father when she has never seen him naked before. the same could be said for son and mother.

i think it is such and act of love and compassion to take care of your own parents and not hire someone else to do the messy parts. bodies go thru all sorts of changes as they grow and age and i think it is important for children to have awareness of this.

many of you mentioned paying attention to when the child shows signs of discomfort.
Certainly if the child is unconfortable undressing in front of anyone, there feelings should be respected and they should have their privacy. however if the child is uncomfortable seeing a parent nude, is it our responsibility as parents to find out why? some fear might come from what they don't understand.

~jen

[Greaseball]

I also think it should be up to the child. A child should never be forced to view nudity or to be naked, but if the parents and child don't have a problem with it, why should anyone else?

I think that if the parents are uncomfortable, they should cover themselves up but not the child if the child doesn't want to cover up.

However, I think an erection is not appropriate for any age to view! This could be just my personal issues but the thought of a child seeing a father's erection really disturbs me.

[lamplighter]

I voted other. I feel that it all depends on the child's comfort level and your own comfort level. My parents were always "victorian" in their approach to being naked and that was how I grew up. i want to raise my daughter differently.

I never want my daughter to feel shame about her body, what ever the shape, skin condition, etc., it doesn't matter, my wish for her is to love herself and not to feel less for what she may or may not be blessed with. I have always felt shame about my body. I think it started with teasing at school, changing in the locker room for gym., it was difficult. I have blemished skin. So in being comfortable within my own body, even when naked, then Ihope I can share that with my daughter.

I hope this makes sense. I rambled a bit, but I was trying to be clear about a something I feel deeply about.

Peace,
Beth

[calngavinsmom]

Hi there I voted nudity OK. I also feel that as long as everyone is comfortable it is alright. When growing up I remember showering with my dad and maybe around age five(i remember i was in school) I commented to my friend that "my daddy has three dinkies" Years later I found out what the other "two dinkies" were :LOL But we always had saunas together up north until about puberty and then I had enough of that. Depends on the comfort level of all involved.
Tara

[Viola]

Re: I'm not especially modest but

Originally posted by tessamami
I always hated having my mom naked around me because she also thought nothing of peeing, pooping, etc.

ROFL, my mom will still do this. She doesn't mean to poop in front of me, but sometimes I've gone back to her bedroom and she is walking around naked, or is sitting on the toilet and I go in and talk to her. :LOL

[veganmamma]

I agree that you need to respect the feelings of the child. I just wanted to make my point that they shouldn't ever feel that way, and that those feelings are a reflection on society's ills. KWIM?
L

[LunaMom]

Gotcha! And i agree with you, although it may have been hard to tell from my last post, sorry!

[lunar forest]

I voted that nudity is fine. I think that it is not only fine, but vital. In this socitiy the only time people see nudity is in a sexual way. I don't want my children to think of their nakid bodies as merely sexual. How healthy is that?

Dh and I are border line nudist We really are nakid a lot. We're living with other people right now, so it's limited to one bedroom and bathroom. Ds is only 17 months, so we'll see how it goes. I agree that children come to an age where they become more modest, and that the parents needs to respect their child's feelings about this, but you don't want that modesty turned into embaressment.

[kel]

I also agree with the - whatever feels right for everyone answer. I was definitely still showering with my son up to age 4 1/2 at least, and at age 7 1/2 he still takes baths with his 3 yr. old sister and 2 yr. old brother. He also still runs around the house naked in the morning with no thought about it, in front of all of us and his dad. I usually tell him to put some boxers on at this age, but mostly because we live on a busy street in the city (big windows), and I don't really want bare butts on the dining room chairs, etc, either!:

[levar]

Originally posted by Arduinna
Rather than an arbitrary age, I think that the childs needs should decide. Kids become "body aware" or modest at different ages, let their needs guide.

Ditto!! That said, when my son was about 2 he got VERY upset in the tub or when ever he saw me naked because I was "missing" my penis. I stopped naked around him for a while. Now at 3 it isnt an issue anymore since he understands that his girl cousin and I are girls and that his daddy and he are boys etc.