boundaries/structure - I feel a moderate amount works for us.
Originally Posted by WuWei
I believe that hitting, like any behavior, is a message about underlying needs which are unmet. I believe that by labeling and judging them as "violence" or "unacceptable" creates the adversarial relationship. Instead, methods of redirecting, as a partner working to meet the underlying needs, toward mutually agreeable solutions, eliminates the need to label and judge the behavior.
This makes so much sense, if only I could muster up the patience to never yell at my children or get really angry. I've been doing tons of work on myself in hopes to be a better parent every day. I know it works better when I can redirect with a hug and create a moment where Crispin can talk to me about what is happening for him. I would love to homeschool and that was my original intent, but I just can't handle the 24/7 thing up here in a tiny rural very religious area where I can't find any crunchy mama friends! I had a mama group in my previous area that was very full and busy and there were always other kids to do stuff with. I also miss being close to the DIA, DSC, Cranbrook, the zoo.... All these things helped me create some structure and fun without locking them to a classroom. I do like the teachers I have encountered thus far, they are meeting Harriet's very advanced reading not only with appropriate material, but offering her books above her level if she's interested, and she's given many opportunities to do independent projects, like studying elephants which she did from many directions for at least 2 months last year. She gets to have girl friends she sees every day and really enjoys school. Sigh. We'll see how Crispin does, he may do fabulous, or it may be too much for him. We'll see. At home they play outside for hours, making all kinds of stories together. It's so fun to watch and listen. They get along better when they have some time apart. so far it's working ok, no matter how much of an unschooler heart I have.