How do you feel about the age you were when you became a parent?

[mamaduck]

Feel free to post and share any details.

[earthmama369]

DD came a little earlier than anticipated, but only by a few months. DH (then fiance) was just about done with school, the wedding date was set -- for a fertility holiday, no less! -- and we were finally ready to welcome the child we'd wanted for years.

[mamabike]

I had my first baby when I was 30, and for me the timing was just about right. However, I was pregnant a few months earlier than we had really "planned". We got engaged in November 2001 and set a wedding date in May 2002. I bought my wedding dress in December. But, I got pregnant in February! Oops LOL. Fortunately the dress still (just barely) fit.

[shershine]

I didn't vote because none of the choices seemed right for me. I feel that I was too young (23), but don't regret it or wish that I had waited. My dd changed my life for the better and I have never felt so alive. I do wish I had traveled more, finished college, lived on my own, etc before I had her but....I didn't. I feel like it had to happen the way it did.

[deleria]

We had our first when I was 20 (dh 23), our second when I was 26 and are expecting our third and last edition shortly after I turn 30. I feel as though I've experienced two types of parenting.

With Aerik we were young and inexperienced, but at the same time hadn't been influenced in any way by other parents we knew (because we didn't know any). AP came naturally for us because it felt right. It suited how we always seemed to go against the grain - we always did things differently and this was no exception. Aerik strengthened our relationship and helped carve out a life path for us where before we had no strong direction. We had a lot of youthful energy to deal with our spirited, special little guy. I feel the timing was perfect in every way.

With Declan we were married, bought a house, got our licenses, had a network of friends who have children and lived closer to my family. We received a lot of support and enthusiasm. I felt more grounded, more confident in myself and more like a grown woman. I knew what I wanted and had a little more life experience. I loved being a 26-year-old mom, too.

At almost 30 and with slightly less energy, I'm a little overwhelmed at the prospect of having three children. But at the same time I feel I know myself and how I want to raise my family in a whole new way. DH and I have been together for nearly 13 years and have an amazing relationship that can only be threaded together so beautifully with time. This child will come into a strong family with parents who have more wisdom and knowledge. Being a thirty year old mama will be beyond amazing.

[sincitymama]

I feel like he came much too young *for me*. I was 22 when I gave birth....I don't know. I think I'm doing a bang-up slammin good job at this mama thing, but I really wasn't ready, didn't want it, etc.. which makes for some emotional issues on my part. I don't think 22 is too young in general, most of the parents I know started young(teens/early 20's) but it was too soon for me.

[crazyeight]

As you can see by my sig BOTH of these kids are accidents. Pure accidents, no planning, no wishing, no trying, not even THINKING about it. Yeah...Found out i was pg with ds when i was living in a dumpy motel room, working 2 jobs, and had NOTHING. I didn't even know which person was the father (only between 2 guys both kinda long distance/both with a previous relationship). It was hard, i cried in the little bathroom by myself and didn't know what to do. After getting grips on the situation, telling the 2 possibles I realized that there was NO WAY that i could ever give that baby up...i was an able bodied person with a mother who, after she found out, would help if no one else would. Long story short I ended up with my DH AFTER he was born, we hadn't seen each other while i was pg and had really no solid romantic relationships and we got married when ds was 3 wks old. we've been married 1.5 years.

With my pg (its a girl!!!) this time I was ready for another but our budget and dh wasn't ready (he didn't really want kids at all). Although we weren't on BC we used condoms occasionaly...of course we only had sex occasionally too. I am excited to be pg again, i am excited to share it with dh this time and i am happy that i have the ability to stay home to love my children to love dh and to be the parent my mother always was.

So although we weren't prepared I think thats what made my life change for the better. Yeah some college woulda been nice, a house or better credit, even being 21 woulda made a difference but if I didn't have DS where would I be now? Certainly not married, certainly not a sahm. I honestly think i would still be in a rut, a dumpy place, a no good job and nothing going good for me.

BTW: I am 20 will be 21 when dd is born and was 19 when ds was born.

[Brigianna]

I don't actually *regret* waiting, but in many ways I do wish I'd started earlier. Of course then my life would have been totally different, so who can really say?

[USAmma]

I was 26 and 29 and I felt it was perfect timing! I wanted to be done with babies by the time I was 30.

[Peony]

I was 20 when dd was born, DH was 26, she was planned, and it was perfect timing for us. We got married when I was 18, but I wasn't your typical teenager. I was in college at 16, and was an RN by the time I was 19. I wanted dc young, I wanted to finish nursing school before getting pg, I found out on graduation day that I was pg. We were financially secure, DH ownes several small businesses, and had just built a house. I am very confident as a parent and the choices I make, many of my friends who are younger parents aren't. I don't feel that I am 23, I have never felt my age, I felt much older at 20 when I became a parent. It was just the perfect timing for us. #2 will be born when I'm 24 and DH 30, again it feels very right.

[onlyzombiecat]

I was 25 when my dd was born. Dh was 19. We had been planning a wedding, not a baby, so it was a big adjustment in thinking. We got married in December and dd was born at the end of March.
I have mixed feelings about the timing. I don't feel I was too young to be a parent. I wasn't thinking about having children yet but I had already graduated from college and most of my friends were married, buying houses, and starting their families. I think it was much harder on dh at 19 to support a family and adjust to the demands of a family when all of his friends were still single/childless and goofing off. On the positive side, dh has accomplished a lot more in 6 years than his friends have and maybe having a child helped him to do that. Sometimes I wish we had had more time alone as a married couple before dd came along. However, if dd didn't come into our lives then I do not know what a better time would have been. I don't think we would have ever ttc or felt more prepared. It is hard to say.

[De-lovely]

I was 23 when my first dd was born....I think she came at the perfect time not only because of WHO she is but because of how much she put my life in perspective and all the things that were most important to me.

[mamallama]

I was 24 & 27. It worked out fine, but it was a rough start.

With the first, dh & I were in a mad rush to get out of the co-housing situation we lived in. Co-housing was fine for the pregnancy, but we did not want to have our baby there. We bought a house & moved 3 weeks before she was born. Ideally, we would have been in our own house earlier.

Personally, our lives were in great shape. He'd finished school a year earlier and had a stable job in his field. I had a good (but dispensible) job selling used books. We were wrapping up the extensive socializing and networking of youth and ready to settle down.

We got married when she was 9 mos old. There was a lot of pressure on us to do it earlier, but we wanted to be sure it wasn't a reactionary decision (even though we'd lived together for four years!) so we waited.

[Artisan]

I was 25 when I had my first, and felt like that was perfect.

[The Lucky One]

I was 26 and 29 and I felt it was perfect timing! I wanted to be done with babies by the time I was 30.

Wow, me too, except for the wanting to be done by age 30 part. I turned 31 today and I would like to have another baby within the next year to year and a half.

I was 26 with ds1 and had just turned 29 with ds2. I am SO SO SO SO glad I didn't have kids when I was younger. Looking back I realize now that I wouldn't have been as good a mother then. For me, it would have been hard to be as selfless as I am now at a younger age.

[blessed]

I would have been awful as a young parent. It worked out perfectly for us because I had a lot of living and learning to do first.

[RubyWild]

My Dh and I waited more than 10 years. Our plan was to be 35 when we started trying, but then we changed our minds and had her at 34. It was a perfect time for us. I personally wasn't ready before that time and feel that my age and experience has made my parenting intentional and patient.

[mum19]

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[andreac]

Originally Posted by USAmma

I was 26 and 29 and I felt it was perfect timing! I wanted to be done with babies by the time I was 30.

Me too, exactly!

[kymholly]

I picked that I wasn't sure. I really dont' think that I would have had my first sooner... well maybe a year or two sooner... but I do think I would have had my second a year or two closer to my first. My girls are 5.4 years apart & I wish that they were 3-4 years apart instead.

I had my kids in my 30s & while I am a bit wiser than I was in my 20s, I'm not sure that I'm *that* much wiser! Plus, now I do think that it would have been nice to have had my kids at a younger age so that I would -hopefully- be around for more of their lives.