Originally Posted by siobhang
I sorta feel the judgement of "you must attend to your baby immediately at all times when s/he cries or you are being abusive" makes for some VERY frustrating and upsetting times for mamas (okay, me) when there are reasons why they can't attend to the baby at that precise moment........
Obviously, avoiding the situation is the best for all concerned, but sometimes things cannot be avoided.
I agree with these these statements (not that I feel judged here, just the overall statement) I think when we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves it sets us up for guilt and depression.
For me- I try to plan ahead as best i can to avoid melt downs. But they happen- I'm not perfect, and sometimes one or the other of us is just having a hard day. We have to be forgiving on ourselves as parents
Example: The other night it is 8:30pm I have tried everything to get ds to sleep, I'm getting angry, he's crying, finally I get out of bed shov ds into dh's arms and say (very grouchily) I'm just going to make dinner, I'm starving. Well- once dinner is made we give a bit to ds and he wants more. lots more. he's very hungry. After we all eat ds falls asleep peacefully in 10 minutes. Oops! With transitioning from nursing to solids i didn't realize the poor kid was hungry for solid food. Sometimes we are trying to meet kids needs but we don't understand them, we're always learning too, and i think this story demonstrates that we need to remember to meet our own needs as well so we're not too tired/grumpy/hungry to think straight.