I discussed this at length with DH last evening. His son is on his way home tonight, and DH will speak to him and I will be present (biting my tounge!) We have agreed that he is no longer to stay alone in the house, and that he will be told he has to stay elsewhere the next time we are out of town. As well, none of his friends are allowed back in the house either, while we are there or otherwise. After the first incident, where we had allowed him to have 1 friend stay overnight, and he had a party, I guess DH thought that by telling him no one was allowed over at all, this was laying down the law. Apparently it didn't go to far. I feel very very badly for my husband as he is extremley hurt by this. Him and his son have always been very close and very affectionate with one another. It seems that just in the last 2 years as he gotten to this stage, he's changed. The point is that he is lying. We also found out that while he has been out of town for work - and living at my BIL's, that he has been lying to his uncles as well. *sigh*
. We have pretty much given him everything and it seems the more we give the more he takes. I have told DH that he should be charging him rent and that he can put the money away and that when his son decides to go to school, he can give it back to him, however his son will not agree to give him money. And to another poster who had asked if I would react the same if he were my son? Well it would never have gotten to this point if it were my son. I saw warning signs a long time ago with him, and DH did not believe me and kept giving his son the benefit of the doubt. So there you have it. I can talk to DH till I am blue in the face, but when it comes right down to it he is going to do what he feels. Problem is, every single time he has a heart-to-heart with his son, his son turns the conversation around and starts pointing the finger at his dad "well I don't feel loved by you, I don't feel wanted around here". He has asked him why he feels that why and his son can not come up with a reason. I really believe that boy is not taking responsibility for himself and then he tries to turn it back on his father. And then his father bends because he feels badly and I can see that his son is taking advantage of that.
: As DH is working all weekend, I am going to see about spending some quality time with his son, and maybe having a talk of our own. We have always been close. He used to come to me and confide in me on subjects he wouldn't share with either of his parents, but he has been drifting away.