How can I love my vagina again? - Page 2

[LoveChild421]

LMAO!!!!! You mamas are too hilarious!

Everyone has a little noise now and then I guess, but I Kegel a lot- I remember kegeling a few hours after birth at the advice of my midwife- she said it's important to start as soon as possible after the birth. Dp and I were both amazed that 3 weeks after birth it felt almost exactly like it used to. So Kegel away!:

Originally Posted by Inca

If you like you can combine Kegals with masturbation.. adds a dimension

no wonder I got back in shape so fast.

[Meeshi Mama]

Originally Posted by yurika47

And I'll be damned if I have to give up my favorite position just because of a little pussy fart. I understand that getting used to a new body/vagina may be overwhelming but in times of embarrassment just remind yourself "Well, at least I didn't squeef."

Oh my goodness!!! You totally cracked me up!!! *rofl*

[Snowdrift]

Um, I had this when DH and I first got together. No, I'd never had a baby. It was only in one position. It eventually went away; probably about the same time we started TTC and I started taking kegels really seriously.

[yurika47]

I don't know if aanyone's used the term squeef before but I did think of it on my own... actual my boyfriend and I thought of it together. He's the one that decided the action needed it's own new word. Maybe we'll see if it makes it in the next updated Webster's unabridged.

I should've mentioned that this occurs even though I do my kegels and I'm pretty sure I'm doing them right.

[Synchro246]

Originally Posted by yurika47

I squeefed. What is a squeef you ask? It's when you expell air at such a rapid pace that you actually shoot your lover's semen back at him (in particular, on his left leg). Sometimes I like to refer to it as payback.
. . .
. And I'll be damned if I have to give up my favorite position just because of a little pussy fart. I understand that getting used to a new body/vagina may be overwhelming but in times of embarrassment just remind yourself "Well, at least I didn't squeef."

That's just too funny.

I BTW am joining the Varters not Anonymous group here. I want to add that- cesarean section or not pregnancy puts enough strech on the vagina and pelvic floor to do this.

KEGAL KEGAL KEGAL. Write reminders to yourself and put one in your car, put one on your comp monitor, put one on the phone, put one on your bathroom mirror, one above the stove. . .etc. . .

[zjande]

I made noise before my 1st baby, too. There are definitely positions that fill me with air worse (& one position that I just do not do anymore, ever!) but sometimes my partner just pushes it in during sex. It is embarassing & annoying, but -- my vagina can fill with air, that's just how it works. So I just say "oops, excuse my air" & continue with the romping.

[Incubator]

Originally Posted by yurika47

In fact, the first time it happened I giggled, which made me release another queef, and then I giggled again, and queefed again, and giggled again, and queefed again, and then broke into hysterical laughing as I continuously queefed until all the air was released.

My most recent story, which is why my friend is currently laughing at me, happened the other day. When getting out from my favorite position, I squeefed. What is a squeef you ask? It's when you expell air at such a rapid pace that you actually shoot your lover's semen back at him (in particular, on his left leg). Sometimes I like to refer to it as payback.

: : : :

[teacup]

Originally Posted by zjande

...& one position that I just do not do anymore, ever!...

How many positions are in your repertoire, woman?

Emilie, about the farts: Yes, I fart differently. It's annoying and goes along with the noisy punani. Instead of it rolling backward, it now rolls forward. So it either makes more noise than it used to or goes up inside me and then I queef later. (Or does it count as a queef if it actually started as a fart?) Smell, notsomuch different. Although my vagina smelled different right before and after I had my daughter. And it may be smell a little different still, and I just don't recall exactly.

Who has the "Loving my magic vagina" signature? I can't recall. I should replace mine with "Missing my old vagina." And MamaQ, I think you've given yourself your senior title.

Holy cow. This is straight-up the best thread ever written on any message board ever. Ever. Should we start a tribe? 'Cause I'm in.

[CryPixie83]

Originally Posted by yurika47

My most recent story, which is why my friend is currently laughing at me, happened the other day. When getting out from my favorite position, I squeefed. What is a squeef you ask? It's when you expell air at such a rapid pace that you actually shoot your lover's semen back at him (in particular, on his left leg). Sometimes I like to refer to it as payback.

: : That is F'in awesome!

[Lizzo]

I actually don't have this problem too much...but I had a friend in 8th grade who could make herself queef(a yoni fart) and would do it a lot. It was soooo....funny!

[townmouse]

Am I the only one kegeling right now? Thanks for the reminder!

[AmyC]

I'm so glad I saw this thread under "new posts" -- here's hoping I actually can post now, since I keep losing connectivity for some reason.

Yes, to the odd queef and lots of observed changes during sex, but especially yes to this description:

Originally Posted by teacup

Emilie, about the farts: Yes, I fart differently. It's annoying and goes along with the noisy punani. Instead of it rolling backward, it now rolls forward. So it either makes more noise than it used to or goes up inside me and then I queef later. (Or does it count as a queef if it actually started as a fart?)

Oh my gosh, this is so EXACTLY true for me. And I have described it repeatedly to my husband, perplexed as to how it can BE. Why does the wind blow FORWARD, now? (And, TMI warning........................................... .................................................. ......wiping is different, too. I mean, WHY? It's like my cheeks are somehow closer together and there's less surface area or clearance in the middle or something. But for whatever reason, cleaning up takes a whole lot longer and is more involved. Grrr.)

But yes, now much of the time my vagina rattles and reverberates when I fart. Sometimes it's sensation-only (a silent breeze in my own private vibrating glade) and sometimes it's a total amplifier for the sound. And it becomes a flappy, flappy noisy frontways fart. Bizarre. I'll even have an initially silent fart that goes forward and then gets all like a whoopy-cushion effect when it hits the labia. Yes, bizarre to experience. When it's the sensation-only (soundless) kind and the air just goes up into the vagina (to be released later, augh), I sometimes have the sensation that it's like sudden bubbles going up into an aquarium. It's so disconcerting to feel that!

(Of course, this sounds like I fart constantly! Not so much, but the difference when I do....man.)

I didn't know anybody else had experienced the forward farting. As well as the new types of sound-effects during sex.... I'd mentioned these things to two different midwives during exams, and they seemed mystified.

Aware of myself standing, I'd say maybe it's because my vagina/pelvic floor has dropped lower in front? And something about the orientation of the pelvis? Maybe it all makes sense, but it's not something I was expecting and it can be super annoying.

So reassuring to read this thread (and even more reassuring since I know you IRL, teacup. How weird is this?)

[bradleybirth2mom]

How to do a Kegel

Tighten up the muscles you would use to stop your flow of urine. You will feel your vagina and anus squeeze together as well. This is the action of the pubococcygeus muscle (PC for short) that holds up your vagina, rectum and uterus. Squeeze it and hold it whenever you think about it---no one can tell when you do it. I try to do some at a stoplight and hold it tight until the light turns green. This is an exercise you can continue for the rest of your life, not only to keep your pelvic floor strong, but it will increase your sexual response as well! The PC muscle is loaded with nerve endings and when it is tighter, it comes in contact with the penis more completely, resulting in greater pleasure. For more specific details on this exercise, check out Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon. It gives great ideas on variations of this technique. Or, send me a private message with your email address and I can scan and email these pages to anyone who wants them. Hope this helps.

[dynamicdoula]

Man, I'm glad *I* have never done any of these things how embarrassing!

[number572]

ooh!

[lurve]

well i have queefed, squeefed and made all sorts of noises and baby has not yet come down the chute so i have no excuse! yeah, i just laugh. i mean really what else are you going to do! i can't wait until baby arrives now!

[Canadianmommax3]

Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q

hi, joining the club.

this is why i have decided that, if i ever get with a different man, he will really have to 'GET IT'. the kind of guy who reads 'cunt' (you should read this book, OP), and attends 'take back the night' marches.

ideally, he will have witnessed birth in some way or another, as a grown up. no more jocular little punks.

i am currently partnered with the same guy that knew my body before it hosted two humans. i have the queefy noises too. i am getting over it. he has helped, one time i had the biggest air bubble fart thing in the world, and i was so not ok with it. i almost let it wreck an otherwise fun romp. and he was so cool, he was very clear about the fact that he really didn't care about it at all. the shoe was kind of on the other foot, really, *I* was the one who was all turned off and he was really encouraging me not to care.

i think we should start wearing 'i have a big noisy cunt' t-shirts. i only want from here on to attract partners who can not only appreciate that fact, but respect and uplift me as i use my big floppy cunt as a tool of connection and unsilencing.

PPFFFFFFFFFPFT!

omg!! lmao!!!
here i thought i was the only one whenever it happens i quickly tell my dh that it wasn't a toot!(i will not toot in front of him)

[Mama Poot]

My vagina before I gave birth was tight and not fun: She started to loosen up over time, but was never quite right until I had my son last year. She still has tendencies to be overly-tight, but not to the extremes it used to be. It is a surefire thing that if I climax, I will queef and sometimes "squeef" ( never heard the word before now but have had it happen for years LOL ). The worst postpartum thing for me was healing and worrying about my stitches and not being able to even touch my vagina for like two weeks I'm not looking forward to that again... Oh well.

[Isaac'sMa]

This is the funniest post ever.

Yup to the "forward farting" here, which (as described) creates a bit of a queef effect or the silent retained forward fart to be let out later (sometimes noisy, mostly not).
No true queefs though, other than one position during sex. But, my vagina queefed in that position before DS was born too. I figured it was just normal!
I kegel like crazy!

[DuckyTate]

LOL funny Mammas!