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I feel like throwing up - Page 2

post #21 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by morning glory
In response to "just so you know it turned out great"

Tell her "Just so you know you'll have no way of knowing that until he is an adult. What "looks great" on a baby can be pretty screwed up on a grown man."

Casey
Very well put.

Her response not only seemed a slap in the face, but extremely arrogant considering she has no way of knowing how HER decision will affect her son as an adult. Did I read correctly? She had to get one of her other children's circ's "fixed"? and she still went ahead and did this to her newborn? It's very strange what some people will take "pride" in.

Sorry about your nephews.
post #22 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by morning glory
In response to "just so you know it turned out great"

Tell her "Just so you know you'll have no way of knowing that until he is an adult. What "looks great" on a baby can be pretty screwed up on a grown man."

Casey
I agree. Make sure tell that her she has no idea how it turned out at this point and that she should ask her son and partners when he is sexually active how "it turned out". Oh, she says that would be intrusive and not appropriate to ask him in depth questions about his sex life as an adult? Then tell her she was already intrusive and inappropriate to chop off a chunk of his penis as a baby....why stop there?
post #23 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paper-Bag-Princess
Very well put.

Her response not only seemed a slap in the face, but extremely arrogant considering she has no way of knowing how HER decision will affect her son as an adult. Did I read correctly? She had to get one of her other children's circ's "fixed"? and she still went ahead and did this to her newborn? It's very strange what some people will take "pride" in.

Sorry about your nephews.
Yep, before he was 1, they took him 400 miles put him under and had it fixed. I think it was really uneven, hanging down on the bottom (goats beard?), I never saw it. I'm just so sad and disappointed. I cant say I will ever be friendly with her again. I can just see this causing a permanent rift between us. And I'm sure the doc told them how great circ is making me even more wrong.:
post #24 of 28
big hugs Jillie, that's a tough spot to be in, although I can understand somewhat. My sister had her only child (my only nephew) circ'd because her dh is. This is ridiculous to me considering that my entire side of the family, except for her son, is intact. Granted, had my dd been a ds, I may very well have agreed to the circ., just because my dh is. Those were not the cards I have been dealt though and by the time Sam was born, both my dh and myself were (and still are) adamantly anti-circ. My sister, who is a nurse btw, told me recently that because my son is intact that his first sexual experience would be painful, I looked at her (and our mom was there too, my mother actually laughed at her for thinking such ridiculousness) and asked her if she was serious. She had no clue and even though I'm the teacher in the family, I took that opportunity to educate her misinformation. She'd never admit that she made a mistake and that it was unnecessary, but she knows that the claims of hygiene, health, etc. don't hold water with me and that I can de-bunk her desperate claims of circ. being the better way.

Oh well. Hang in there. Intactivism is tough, especially when people refuse to take their heads out of the sand. Stand your ground, you never know if she'll ever understand or accept responsibility for her and her dh's actions.
post #25 of 28
Thread Starter 
Thank you for the kind words.
post #26 of 28
Yeah...I lost the battle with my sister and her husband too. This was 3 years ago when I was pregnant and two of my sisters were pregnant. I knew the one sister would have her son circumcised because she had two sons that already were. I talked to my other sister about it and even sent her a great book to read about it. I thought I had her convinced that it was very much the wrong thing to do, but as soon as she mentioned it to her husband he flipped out. He said that there was NO way that they would NOT circumcise their son. She decided that it was up to her husband because the baby was a boy. What a lame excuse!!! I'm sorry, but if my husband didn't agree with me there would have been he11 to pay. Mama bear protecting her baby!!! Anyway.....after her son was born, and circumcised, her husband sent me PICTURES of his new son's circumcised penis. I was horrified. He said he sent them to show me how well it went and that everything was fine. That almost shows me maybe a little level of guilt on his part because he had to PROVE to me that his decision (in his mind) was the right one. Ugh. Makes me sick. I'm just glad that my husband and I took the time to educate ourselves ahead of time on the subject and didn't just buy into all of the stupid reasons that people give you for circumcising. My husband is circumcised, but made the comment on more than one occasion that he wishes that he would have been given the choice, because if he had he would still be intact.
-Amy
post #27 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillie
She worked in a nursing home, which is where she decided men are gross if not circ'd.
I could just slap people who spew this idea--it's such a bunch of crap and denial! :

As a nurse, I have seen all kinds of private parts. IMO, there is no way an intact man can compare to a woman! Cleansing elderly women who are completely incontent and especially who have contracted hips, which is common--makes it very difficult to clean--are by far grosser (Sorry if TMI). I never hear anyone suggest minimizing their genitals.

I have a SIL who is an Aide in a nursing home who believes the same way (Actually, my BIL was the one who told me this. He said if it were his choice, he's leave a baby intact but didn't want to fight her.) Fortunately they have had three girls...

All I have to say is she better never say it in front of me; I don't think I'd be able to keep my mouth shut!

Hugs Jillie~Don't let something like this keep you from speaking up for baby boys. One of these days you will speak to someone who actually doesn't have their head up their...well, in a dark place anyway.There's nothing like the feeling you get when you know someone opened their mind and realized the truth!

Pam
post #28 of 28
She worked in a nursing home, which is where she decided men are gross if not circ'd

Sooooo she gets to decide to permanently alter her son's genitals because of that? Hmmm does she know that he can CHOOSE to have it done later in life if he's so inclined? It's not like it was the last chance to ever hack off part of his penis *sarcasm*.
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