Momma's Please Help! Need Advice~scared

[stiles' mummy]

I'm hoping all you can help me with some advice. My ds, stiles (who will be 3 in June) is going to the hospital tomorrow (Friday) for dental work. They will put him under and the procedure will take approx. 2 1/2 hours. He has several cavities and needs a crown. All which cannot be done in the dental office as it is extensive work. Dh and I are terrified. Our ds has never been in the hospital and is already very anxious about doctor visits as is!

What do we tell him?????? The hospital we are going to is the Hospital for Sick Kids in Toronto. One of the best in North America with plenty of distractions and playrooms whilst you wait. However, it is still a hospital and Stiles will definitly know as soon as we walk in. We're going in with our entourage of my mom, my 16 year old neice (who ds adores and looks up to).

Should we not tell him anything until we get there? I was going to just tell him that we are going somewhere were there is lots of kids and play areas (which is true). But how do I prepare him when they are finally ready for him and lead him away to start the procedure. I've been anxious for days and haven't slept at all last night. Tonight will be awful. I know he'll freak and be terrified when they lie him down and proceed to put the mask on his face to put him under

Please, please, give me some advice. Any other momma's that have been through this??

~ I'm so scared and worried for my ds ~

[mommytolittlelilly]

Uggh, I am sorry you all have to go through that. If I were you I'd just keep it simple in terms of what you tell him, such as we're going to have a nice dentist fix some of your teeth, and we're going to get to play with some toys. I would think it'd be more scary to suddenly be at the hospital without some kind of forewarning.

My daughter was just past 2 years old when we had 2 cavities filled, a root canal and a crown done. We had the oral sedation - a combination of chlorolhydrate and vistaril, with some nitrous oxide. It was absolute hell to have give her that nasty sedative mixture, and even worse to try and hold her before she succumbed to its effects. There was no way she could've sat in that chair while the dentist worked on her teeth for what amounted to about 1 hour and 45 minutes, and we chose to forego GA. Just from personal experience, I think anesthesia takes a lot faster to work, so hopefully your son won't be scared for very long about the mask. Also, not sure about the effects of GA, but at least L didn't remember anything of the procedure or the ordeal leading up to the procedure, due to the effects of the sedative.

[rozzie'sma]

I would tell him. What all is being done. Will he need an IV? I would tell him that he is going to have some work done on his teeth. If you don't act like being at the hospital is a bad thing he won't either. How long can you be with him. Whenever my mom had surgery we were with her until they rolled her into the actual sterile operating theater. Stay with him, hold his hand. If he has an IV sometimes they will put a little relaxer in there so he doen't freak out when they put the mask on. I am sure it will be ok. Hugs and a speedy recovery

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Here they give them what they call happy juice about a hour before time for the work to be done. It is a relaxent that sometimes puts them in a very drowsy state so that they wont get upset as bad. They do use a IV but it is only put in after the child is already under GA. I cant imagine sending mine in without something to calm them first I actually wouldnt do it just to tramatic. Even for a adult. I know when I had surgery they gave me something to calm me before everything started and it made things much easier to deal with.

Both of mine need work done on their teeth and they want to do it under GA but as of yet I havnt been able to get past my fears to have the work done I am to scared of what might happen. DD is starting to have pain when eating so time is running out with her fast. DS needs all 4 top front teeth capped due to weak enamal. He is not in any pain tho the teeth look horrible now turning very brown and are so chipped they look as tho they havnt come all the way in yet. Until he starts hurting tho I am gonna hold off since the older they are for GA the better the odds.

[SamuraiEarthMama]

i was told i "had" to do something similar with dh1, and we decided to wait. i'm so glad we did... now he trusts us and doctors/dentists, because we've never forced him to do anything he didn't agree to first.

i was held down as a child for vaccinations, and i still get panicky going into any kind of medical situation.

mama, if you are "terrified," you need to rethink this. don't let anyone push you or your child into anything you are not ready and willing to do.

trust your instincts. they are there for a very good reason!

[courtenay_e]

Definately. D-E-F-I-N-A-T-E-L-Y, stay with him until he's sedated. Don't be hysterical, just be very, very matter of fact that it is YOUR child, and you will remain with him until he's asleep. Legally they certainly can not take him from you without your permission. Tell them you'll get dressed in their scrubs and etc, whatever they need, but until he's under you'll be staying with him. Don't ask permission, tell them how it's going to happen. They are not gods and this is your child.

And DEFINATELY tell him what's going to be happening. Tell him that there is a doctor that you're going to meet who's going to make it so that his teeth don't hurt any more. Tell him that you're going to stay with him until he's asleep, that they'll fix his teeth while he's asleep, and when he wakes up, you'll be right there, waiting for him. There is nothing worse for the trust of a child to be lost than to lie by omission, terrify them, and have the experience imprinted on their psyche for the rest of their lives.

[stiles' mummy]

Thank you so much mommas for all your good advice. Just an update. Everything went better than dh and I could hope for. We explained to ds why we were at the hospital and that he was going to be asleep while the doctor fixed his teeth. He was very excited with all the toys and playland type waiting room, so we were lucky that he wasn't stressed at all. The staff at Sick Kids' hospital were WONDERFUL! They put us and ds at ease. When it was time to start the procedure we spoke with the anesthesiologist (sp?) and he assured me that one parent could come in with ds. I donned the scrubs and held ds as we walked into the room. Ds wasn't even freaked at all the machines and operating room. The Doctor showed him the mask that would administer the GA and asked what flavour ds wanted. Ds held it to his face, but realized right-away that he didn't like it. That's when I had to be strong and hold it for him. He cried and squirmed for 10 seconds and then he was asleep.

I stroked his head and told him I loved him and to have a good sleep and mommy and daddy will be there when he wakes up. The procedure took 2 1/2 hours. Ds had to have 3 CROWNS put in!!! as well as 8 cavities filled. The Dentist did not know the extent of the decay until he took x-rays while ds was under.

However, overall it was a good experience and did not leave our ds with any bad or scary feelings for doctors, which he had an inmense fear of a few months ago.

Hugs to all mommas who helped me out.

[lizabird]

Wow, what a story. I'm glad to hear everything went so much better than expected. I think hospital visits are probably more scary for the parents than for the kids, and it sounds like the hospital staff did a wonderful job helping ease everyone's anxiety. Sorry you had to go through all that, but hopfully all the dental problems have been corrected and you won't have to go through it again!

lizabird

[4evermom]

I'm so glad it went well. My ds had 10 cavities filled under GA when he was 3.5. His teeth are SO much easier to clean since then, and over a year later, no new cavities. This is despite his discovering candy and eating alot of it and my only brushing once aday before bed. I agree with the previous poster that it is harder for the parent, although it's no cup of tea for the child, either. My ds remembers having to drink a nasty tasting sedative, but that is it.

[tigrinho]

Glad everything went well. Dd had extensive dental work done under GA recently as well. I find that she eats more food and enjoys more food now. We are pretty much down to just nursing for sleeping and maybe one other time during the day. Before that she really was nursing a lot. Although it's no fun for anyone to go through, I think they are so much more comfortable for having things all fixed up. Dern that genetically mal-formed tooth enamal.

[boatbaby]

WOW - I got dizzy just thinking about having to go through that. I remember I freaked out when my dumb dog had to have minor surgery and go under GA. I think I would pass out if it were my DS!

You are a STRONG mama!

QUESTION: For you mamas who have gone through this major dental work on your 3-ish year olds... is this common? Were your babes breastfed/ night nursers? Did they drink juice? Is there any advice you can pass along for other mamas to help avoid the major dental experience at such a young age??

[boatbaby]

[Kathryn]

Most of the problems with baby teeth are just genetics. They are formed in utero so when they start getting bad so early (9 months for my dd), something went funky when they were formed.

[esk8partist]

Originally Posted by boatbaby

QUESTION: For you mamas who have gone through this major dental work on your 3-ish year olds... is this common? Were your babes breastfed/ night nursers? Did they drink juice? Is there any advice you can pass along for other mamas to help avoid the major dental experience at such a young age??

:

[Joannarachel]

I believe in general when such a young child has such a severe dental problem, it is genetics and has nothing to do with what the child fed or ate.

[Emma's_Mommy]

i hope emma has good teeth....i had surgery when i was younger and i remember my mom going in the room with me. I had surgery on my bladder just last week and they asked me if i wanted my husband to walk with me to the OR!!! and i'm 24 years old!!!!!!!!

my teeth got bad when i was pregnant so hopefully emma got all the nutrents my teeth did not!

[4evermom]

I blame the pretzels for my ds's decay. He wasn't into food and about the only thing he would eat was pretzels. So, if I wanted to give him a snack to keep him happy in the car or happy while hanging with dh, it was pretzels. Ds was so high needs, wanting to be held and nursed constantly that I was pretty desperate for any kind of break. The pretzels would get stuck in his teeth. The super soft baby toothbrush wouldn't dislodge them. He would eat a few pretzels, then fall asleep so they would sit there. I noticed the decay at 2.5 but didn't take him to the dentist til he was 3 because I knew there was no way it would go well at based on his temperament. At 3, he was ok with the dentist visit (after we found a good one, that is) and we waited til 3.5 to fill them. It was very stressful knowing he wasn't supposed to nurse for 6 hours before the GA because he was a serious night nurser. Miraculously, he didn't wake up to nurse that night. I didn't sleep and spent the whole night staying very still so he wouldn't wake and praying that he would stay asleep.

[EviesMom]

Under Health and Healing, there's a whole board dedicated to Dental, including pediatric dentals stuff. There's a lot of good info and ideas on why some kids have problem teeth, like genetics, bottles, antibiotics during pregnancy (apparently can make the enamel on the teeth that are being formed then weak), and nutrition.

[nikirj]

My 4yo son's teeth are really bad. It is genetic I am certain. He was no more a night nurser than his sister, and no more likely to drink juice (we rarely have it in the house, *I* dislike it) than my other kids, either.

He has never had to go under GA but we go to the dentist a lot. This past Wednesday he went in for several cavities and to get ceramic reconstruction on two of his teeth that we so far gone they looked like nubs . The dentist did an extremely good job, very aesthetically pleasing and DS seems very happy with it (one of his molars had been causing him some discomfort while he was brushing). DS did not need to go under. The staff was wonderful about walking him through what was going to happen, etc, so he wasn't even too put out about the initial injection. They had Dora going for him to distract him, and since we don't have TV anymore, it was a real treat. He told me "that was fun momma, it didn't hurt but it did that one time but that was ok cause they told me and it wasn't even a lots of hurt. And I saw DORA!" (Followed by extremely 4yo rendition of the Dora theme song....)

I am the first child in a family of four. I have never had to have any cavities filled, at all. Never had any dental problems (orthodontic, yes, decay, no). I nursed past age 4. Two of my other siblings are the same. But the brother 3 years younger than me has the same thing my DS has. So much treatment for him. As an adult he brushes his teeth literally every single time he eats anything, to ward off the decay. He is so vigilant about his hygiene, and good about his diet too...and when he was little, my mom was vigilant about it as well. He just has bad teeth. The rest of us, raised on the same diet and hygiene standards, nursing for as long as he did or longer, aren't affected by it.

Don't feel bad if your child has dental problems. As much as dentists would like to assign blame on parents (makes it easier to 'fix' more than anything), it is often a matter of predisposition. My mom had one heck of a time with dentists telling her that my brother's teeth were so awful because he nursed. Nevermind that they had just also seen my perfect teeth, and I nursed for longer and more frequently. Never mind the same of my younger siblings. Many times they just feel obligated to give you a reason, even if they're really grasping.

In the dental forum there's a ton about upkeep of teeth for a child that has had problems before. The regimen that my mom and brother used was pretty tough on them through the middle childhood years (who wants to bring a toothbrush, special toothpaste, mouthwash to school? Use them after eating a SNACK?) but ultimately worth it; they have kept his permanent teeth from being a disaster.

[mamasgirls]

Originally Posted by boatbaby

QUESTION: For you mamas who have gone through this major dental work on your 3-ish year olds... is this common? Were your babes breastfed/ night nursers? Did they drink juice? Is there any advice you can pass along for other mamas to help avoid the major dental experience at such a young age??

I only have very recent experience with this. My 22 month old had GA on Monday to fix 8 cavities- she had cavities in her 4 molars and her 4 front upper teeth. She got 2 fillings on the bottom and 6 crowns on the top. I do believe that genetics played a part. I also believe that night nursing has played a part in it. She has been a frequent nurser and night nurser since birth. She has had juice maybe 5 times in her life, diluted with water to almost nothing. She does not drink cow's milk. She drinks water and she nurses. She has the classic decay pattern of Early Childhood Caries, or Baby Bottle Tooth Decay. The dentist we saw showed me white streaks across her front teeth, which she said are from her teeth being exposed to something sugary at night. There is less saliva in the mouth to wash the milk away. We are good about brushing her teeth before bed. I do believe night nursing was one of the culprits in her tooth decay- not the only one, but I believe it did play a part. I also believe that not every baby is prone to this, and I believe I have read that over 90% of breastfed children, even at night, are not at risk to get cavities. I think a combination of factors need to be in place and if those risk factors are there, than nursing at night can be a reason for this. I have wondered if I hadn't nursed her at night if she would be cavity free- and I really think that her teeth would probably still be weak, for whatever the reason, and she would still be at risk for them, and would maybe have some cavities. But I don't think she would have had the ECC decay pattern- I do believe that happened from nursing at night.

I have only had one cavity in my life and my 4 y/o dd has none. My diet was the same for both pregnancies. My first daughter had latch/suck issues and I EP'd for her, she did not nurse at night. My husband did have cavities as a child, but none recently. Anyway- I know everybody has different opinions on this. I have to look at the pattern of decay, and try to make correlations as to why the cavities were in the teeth they were.