Getting to know you...

[Panthira]

I happened upon this neat thread over in another forum (DDC July 2006?) where they posted threads about getting to know each other. Does that make sense? I'm trying to hurry and post this before my baby starts crying (I hear him starting to fuss).
So I thought we could start something like this here since we've virtually known each other, sort of, but not really. They did their threads individually, but I thought I would ask a simple question.

Here's my question:
How did you first meet and become involved with your DH or DP?

Baby wants me.

[amygoforth]

Fun question!

Here's my history w/ DH...

I first met DH in the fifth grade. He was my first kiss in the sixth grade. Under the bleachers. He asked me if I wanted French or regular! Can you believe that?! I chose French, but he wasn't very good at it. He just twirled his tongue around fast like a propeller. That was the end of our early romance.

We were friends all through school. Hung out with the same crowd. He was always able to make me laugh out loud, and I always liked how we was so calm and intelligent and sweet. We never dated in high school, although we made out once just after graduation.

We ended up going to the same college (Go IU!), and finally started dating for real. I was in heaven and so so in love. He was more in lust, and eventually decided he wasn't ready for a relationship with me. I was utterly devistated. The night he dumped me I remember bawling, walking back to my dorm in the rain. How pathetic is that!? Holy moly.

Anyhoo, I never gave up on him. I always knew -- just KNEW -- we were meant to be together. We were such great friends and always had fun just hanging out together. FINALLY -- really for real -- he called me up and asked me to go ice skating with him. And we've been together ever since. Together 12 years, married for 5. Two perfect little boys.

[Turtlemum]

Oh that's like a trick question for me...

One way to answer it is:

We met first day of university. He pretended to be the professor when the professor failed to show...I thought that was pretty funny. We didn't start dating until later in the fall because neither of us wanted to put ourselves out there...blah, blah, blah.

The other way to answer the question is:

We met when we were 10 years old! We didn't remember until we had been dating a while...we were chatting about activities we did as children and realized that we were both (embarrassingly enough) in youth orchestra and played violin. Our parents were even chaperons on a trip we went on to Minneapolis!

We thought that was hilarious! So, that's us.

Whose next?

Kelli

[judybean]

nak, so please don't mind the lower case.... but this is probably going to be long -- it's a fun story!

dh and i have known each other since the sixth grade. basically anybody in my town has known each other for at least that long (if they've been here that long) because there are only three elementaries, one middle school and one high school.

anyway, in sixth grade he asked me out (via a note! something with circling 'yes' or 'no'). i said no ... life went on, i 'went out' with his best friend in eighth grade (so we hung around together a lot). then, just a week or two into our sophomore year in high school he called me up to see if i wanted to go to homecoming! my very first date dance, even. so we went (the pictures from before really are hilarious, we were both so... naive? hmm... not sure if that's the right word... but in the pictures, we were only standing next to each other and definitely NOT touching! ).

so we dated for a couple months, but broke up for some reason... but we remained friends, always hanging out at the same table with the same friends before school, going out to lunch together (with friends) and even skipping a few classes together our senior year.

for our first year of college we went to the same community college. we hung out together quite a bit there as well. eating lunch, heading into town, etc. ... ooh... i just remembered, funny thing, I actually spent my first night of college in his room -- but only because we stayed up so late talking (his roommate wasn't there yet, neither was mine) that I completely crashed on his roommate's bed (mid-sentence he tells me). My mom (ooh, notice the caps? Louie fell asleep! two hands!) always liked it that I hung out with Mike because he's 6'5" and looks intimidating, though he's the gentlest, sweetest guy around

For our second year of college he went off to the seminary. A Catholic one, meaning he was studying to potentially be a priest!! We e-mailed occassionally and saw each other during the summer (we were still friends, and had all the same friends too!). After our junior years of college, I found myself completely broke and living at home, knowing that I would skip a year just to earn some money. After three years of schooling, most friends had moved away, or kept summer apartments in their college town of choice.

Pretty much we were the only two in town, out of our group of friends, and I called him up to chat, he said he had been told to get some exercise, so I said, "Okay, we'll go on walks every day this summer!" and we did.

Thus began what ultimately led to our marriage (yes, sounds so sappy... dh would probably cringe like crazy at this... he can be sweet at times, but isn't so... romantic?).

Our walks included long talks, of course, and it was so fun. No, of course we didn't set out to end up married (he was studying to be a priest! I, at the time, was coming off a terrible, terrible year at school -- not only with grades but .. ugh... terrible behavior as well... so we seemed at opposite ends of the spectrum so to speak). But through that summer we grew very, very close.

He did go back to school, but only for a semester... but even just one semester was so hard for me (his school was... 14 hours and four states away).

Christmas of 2000 he came home for good, got a job and eventually got an apartment. I eventually followed suit getting my own apartment (which happened to be three doors down from his!) and we continued to hang out all the time.

Then, September 9th of 2001 we were married And we still live in that same little town

[judybean]

: (I told you it would be long... I just can't tell a short story )

[amis2girls]

I was 17, he was 24. We met through a friend who thought we'd be a good match. We were friends until I was 19 then I wrote him a letter (we lived 90 miles apart) asking him if there would ever be anything more to our relationship. Started dating in October, engaged in April, and married in August. Our tenth anniversary is this summer.

Ask me then if I'd known I'd have three kids under four.

[allnaturalmama]

Nice thread, Pan!

Enjoyed reading your stories. It's amazing how many of us knew our DHs as kids.

We met in junior high. He was 8th grade, I was 7th, when I started attending his out-of-town private school. We lived 3 miles from each other, so began carpooling the long drive to school. He was mean and teased me and made me cry!

By my 9th grade yr, he stopped the teasing, and I started to notice how funny he was; stopped hating him. Last day of school my 9th/his 10th grade year was a fun trip to a local amusement park. We spent the day riding roller coasters and bumper cars together, and I was crush-city. He was just-friends clueless about how I felt.

There were a couple of other girls who also liked him, and it was a race to see who could win his affection. Again, he was clueless. In December (my 10th/his 11th grade), he gave me his class ring to hold during the basketball game - he was a player, I was a cheerleader. Ahhh, sweet victory! He never asked for it back; I never gave it.

We officially started "going steady" that week. Neither of us had driver's licenses when we started going out, so for our early dates, we would ride our bikes and meet to hang out at a convenience store halfway between our houses. How cheesy, huh?

We dated each other exclusively for the next 6 1/2 years. During that time, he stayed out of school one year between HS and college to save up (he put himself through without a penny of help, so proud of him!), which put us in the same class going through college - we went to the same college, too, although I didn't see that much of him because, in addition to a full class load, he worked 40 hours a week at night and on weekends to pay for it.

4 weeks after graduation, we married. We've now been together over 18 years (!) and married almost 12. He still makes me laugh.

[aisraeltax]

wow! what cute stories!
mine is pretty boring. a friend intro'd dh and i back in 2003. we met...i didnt like him..thought he was too short and too old. but he was very funny and very nice to me and volunteered to help me out on my political activism (dont get me started but i was on a mission, which of course failed).
since he was willing to work on my political agenda, i agreed with myself to give him a chance and we were married about a year later.
we got married too soon, as is evident in some of the "kinks" we are having to work out during marriage that should have been worked out before marriage but thats another thread.
cant wait to read all the other responses.
rach

[Minoh]

Dh and I met while doing field work in the White Mountains in NH. We were both working with our respective profs at different universities and the profs were collaborating on a biology-related project. Part of our summer jobs involved collecting mud samples from alpine lakes. We both worked in our labs for 2 summers and during both of these we spent several weeks hiking up mountain trails carrying tons of gear. It was really a beautiful place to meet and we have many nice memories.

The only not-so-nice part of the story is that we both had other partners at the time . Needless to say, those relationships were not going anywhere, but it's still an unfortunate point.

Dh and I will always have a soft spot for the Appalachian trail and he can't wait to take Simon hiking there.

[mariposita]

Funny story follows...

I met DH in Portland, OR at work. We were both working at an high school international exchange organization. He worked in one department, I worked in another. I knew who he was but totally wasn't interested one bit.

Anyhow, I had my identity stolen (this was back before it was a common occurance) and it was totally causing havoc in my life. They actually changed my birthdate with social security. Grrrr...So DH had an attorney friend and he asked me if we could go out for lunch and review the paperwork I had so he could help me resolve it all. We got to lunch and he had reservations at one of the nicest restaurants in town. Should have guessed then...So we never even got to to discussing my identity theft. We talked at the office a lot the following week.

Then we went to another dinner to go over all of this. It was right after work - around 5pm. We didn't talk about it this time either. Instead, he got one of my rings (a rolling ring) stuck on his finger and it started swelling. We walked back to my house to try soap, butter, lotion. Nothing worked. The swelling was too bad so we soaked his finger in ice water and we just talked and talked. Until 4am. His finger was in a glass of icewater the whole time too. We decided that he just needed to go home and sleep and stop messing around with it so the swelling could go down, but on the way home he lost all feeling in it and had to go to the emergency room to get it cut off of him.

That's right, our first *real* date landed DH in the emergency room.

Anyhow, I knew by the end of that night that I was in love with him and have never looked back. He felt terrible about my ring so he went to Tiffany's (!!!) and bought me a replacement rolling ring. He gave it to me the day before I led a program to China for a month, which was wonderful since I missed him so much. Even though I have a wedding ring, the replacement rolling ring actually means more to me and I wear it every day.

[atozmama]

In fall of 1992 I moved into an apartment building of studio and 1 bedrooms in downtown Lincoln, NE near the university. It was a cool older building and has since been torn down DH was living there while taking grad classes, I was teaching jr hi math and science in a christian school. There was a wonderful older lady, like 70 yrs old, who was the general manager and every afternoon a bunch of us hung out in her office and talked. DH and I were part of that group, he looked so good in his 501's . From there a friendship grew, we both loved sci-fi. He ran out of money and moved back home end of 1995. We continued long distance friendship. May 1995 I went to CA to visit him and see San Fransico-still friends. But after that visit he wrote me a letter asking if I was dissappointed he didn't try anything while I was out there. I said he could have at least kissed me good bye. From there our relationship grew. We next saw each other Jan 1996 he came back to Lincoln for a long weekend. May of 1996 I moved to the Bay Area to see what would happen with us. Now we are married with 4 kids! We got engaged August 1997, married Feb 1998 and Aric was born July 1998.

[Minoh]

That is such a sweet story, Andrea! It's funny, you never know how you will meet your life partner, but sometimes, often, it's through the most unexpected circumstances!

[PatchPixie]

My DH And I met in college. I remember "meeting" my DH at a party- he and his friend came into the kitchen while I was sitting on the countertop eating Sweedish Fish from a box I had discovered in a cupboard (how rude!). I felt some sparkles when I spoke with him - but that was all. I was dating another guy then and continued to date him for another year and a half. Then DH and i kept running into one another at parties and such. I broke up with the boyfriend and kept open the possiblities with my now DH - one night we left a party and walked all aroung my college town - it was really foggy and we just got lost chatting away. We watched the sunrise from his apartment rooftop. We just kept hanging out until we were a couple. This August will be our 5 year wedding anniversary.

Plus, my sister married his roomate/friend and now we live a block away from each other!! he he

[darkpear]

This is really geeky, but I met dp (we're not married yet - we just haven't gotten around to it, pretty silly) on a BBS. It was late at night and I saw someone new log in and fill out a profile, so I just started messaging him and soon we were fast friends - and then we met for coffee and totally fell for each other. It was a bit messy too, as we were both involved with other people at the time but honestly I think leaving the other guy was the best thing I ever did, because I would never have been happy with him long-term.

[mariposita]

i'm lovin' these stories! keep em coming!

[judybean]

Originally Posted by mariposita

i'm lovin' these stories! keep em coming!

same here!! I love hearing everybody's ways of meeting -- and, like allnaturalmama said, it's funny how many of us knew our dh's for a long, LONG time!!

[Panthira]

I guess since I started this thread, it's only fair I reply to it.

I met my DH the Geek way - on the net.

I was going through a very dark period in my life, and I felt so alone. I was raising my twins as a single mother and it had gotten to a point where I wasn't sure what I was going to do. No daycares would take my son anymore because of his severe disabilities (he was in a wheelchair and diapers still at 9) and I couldn't get any help from anyone or anywhere, and I was scared, alone, and going broke because I could no longer keep working without daycare. I had also sworn off men and relationships until I could get myself straightened out.

My mother had been suggesting strongly (to put it mildly) for a couple of years that I needed to let her take my son because she could afford to hire a live-in nanny (she wouldn't help me out though, long, unhappy story there), so I was getting more and more depressed and feeling like a failure in life and as a mother. One way I escaped this doom and gloom IRL was to play this online game called Utopia. I'd played it for a couple of years and was really good at it, and I was the Queen of a group of other players (this sounds so stupid in retrospect lol).

My DH contacted me on ICQ because he heard I had an opening in my kingdom and wondered if I could (cheat) and get him in my kingdom because we were the number 1 kingdom in the game (OMG this sounds so stupid!!). He was funny and sweet on ICQ, and over a period of several months we'd chat long into the night and eventually I told him my sad tale with the children and my life. He listened and talked to me and was so understanding. We started talking on the phone which was expensive since he lived in Canada. I tried to scare him off by sending him pics of me while pregnant with the twins, and you know, kind of testing him. My DH is also 6 years younger than me, so I didn't think we really had anything other than a nice ICQ and phone friendship.

I decided I needed to get away for awhile to clear my head and really think about what I was going to do about my life and my son. My mother agreed to take the kids and I bought this special train ticket where you could go anywhere the train went for a month, but you had to at least step foot in Canada to use it. It just so happened that my DH's city (Edmonton) was one of the few places the train went and he kept bugging me to meet him, so I finally agreed. We met, and almost instantly knew we loved each other. I spent half of that month with my now DH, and after that he would come to stay with me a few weeks here and there for a couple of years until the U.S. approved him for a marriage VISA.

It's been 6 years and someday we might move to Canada, when my twins are older. My babies are dual citizens. My oldest son never came home after I got back from my trip. He asked to stay with my mom and he's very happy there.

I'm happy too.

[spiralmg]

Panthira, your story with the self-commentary totally tickled my funny bone! I was laughing so hard I couldn't read the whole thing at one sitting.

My DH and I met at a costume party. He was dressed like a horse and I was dressed like an action figure heroine. (YIKES). Anyway, because I didn't know him, I gave him a fake email address (thought I would still get the email though, long story) but he managed to somehow track me down online via my grandmother, who doesn't actually have email (I get her email). He had no idea it was my grandmother, just thought it might be someone who knew the fake me due to the shared domain name. So then...we started emailing - after I goggled him completely online and realized I knew some of his work, and he knew a lot of people I know, so he might be alright.

So...when we finally met IRL a few months later, we realized we had actually met a year earlier at my ex-boyfriend's house and had an extremely brief conversation in which I told thim that his new business venture was all wrong and that he should get on top of the situation asap (!). He was somewhat taken aback and we stopped talking at that point. Very funny in retrospect. Anyway, after we met the next year, we started hanging out all the time. He's older than me so I thought - Oh no, this sure is NOT going to go anywhere, no way am I dating an older man. But then we were having so much fun I stopped caring. We were driving all over the country every weekend having mini-adventures, just really falling for each other in general and the next thing you know I was pregnant. We got married three months later. Probably some people thought no way would we last because it all happened so quickly - but here we are. Very happily married and in love and in a big nest of a bed with two babies, in loads of busy trouble - and quite pleased to be here. When I'm not wondering what the heck I was doing getting into this mess. (Messy kitchen, messy floor, messy bottoms, etc. - and he is a neatnik so its been an interesting journey) I love him so much.

[xmasbaby7]

Boy, I was reading from the beginning and couldn't believe how many people had met so early in life. Very sweet stories. Love 'em!

DH and I met through on-line dating. I had just moved from NYC where I had a pretty Sex-in-the-City existence throughout my twenties minus the abundant casual sex and expensive footwear: great job, lots of really supportive women friendships, and lots of funny dating adverntures.

I moved to Boston just before I turned 30 and knew one person, so I went on-line to date.

On Halloween in 2001, I read DH's profile, and it asked him to write what he was looking for. I read his description and thought "He's looking for me!" We met for sushi the following week, and I told my best friend when I came home from our date that he was sweet and would make a great husband and father. But what did I do? Start dating someone else! In retrospect, he scared me off because he was SO special, and I knew that getting close to someone like him would hurt if it didn't work out.

We dated for the next 6 months at a very slow, sometimes painful, pace. I realized I was crazy about him and wasn't sure if he felt the same way. On my birthday, he took me out to dinner, and I thought we were going to break up.

After dinner I said I needed to try for more or stop and just be friends. I thought he would choose the latter, and instead he said "I 'm scared because if I let you in, I will never want you out of my life." This was one of the most powerful moments of my life. I had never felt strong enough about a man before to admit I wanted him, and I would have never believed it would work out as I wanted it to. I had been so unlucky in love until that moment!

We have been inseparable since then. Sorry this is so detailed. I am happy to reflect on such good, powerful memories because my dear friend died this week.

[mariposita]

robin, i really enjoyed your story. i'm sorry about your friend's passing.

wow, lots of you met your partners online too!