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Do you drink in front of your kids? - Page 4

post #61 of 104
Ok, just read a bit.. and this makes me think of a nother topic...

Do you buy a keg of beer for your 2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 yr olds birthday party?

I CANNOT stand parents that drink at a childs birthday party... nothing pisses me off more!

Ok, someone can run with that as a new thread/poll now.
post #62 of 104
A keg of beer? No. But we have had wine and some beer at a kids bday party. It depends on the people/kid/family, but it's often no big deal. We don't see alcohol as a thing to keep or hide from kids so I am not sure why it would be so taboo.
post #63 of 104
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post #64 of 104
as i said before i don't drink, but if i go to a birthday party and there is beer there or wine or whatever the taste, i don't see anything wrong with it. It's a few friends together having a few drinks while the kids have fun. I see nothing wrong with it.
Now a keg of beer, LOL. Man they are planning a big party eh!
post #65 of 104
i have beer and other alcoholic beverages (nothing hard), like wine or mike's hard lemonade for guest at my kids' family birthday parties. i do think a KEG is a bit over the top!
post #66 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
A keg of beer? No. But we have had wine and some beer at a kids bday party. It depends on the people/kid/family, but it's often no big deal. We don't see alcohol as a thing to keep or hide from kids so I am not sure why it would be so taboo.


Yep, depending on who is coming and where the party is at... We generally have some bottles or cans of beer, not a big deal to me.

Sheesh whenever we go to family BBQ's or holiday events there's usually wine and beer. Nobody gets drunk though, it's all in moderation. Even chuck e cheese sells beer and wine and that is obviously a kids b-day party place

I understand parents who maybe grew up in abusive and or alcoholic homes not wanting to repeat that cycle and so they don't drink at all and keep it out of their homes... but that doesn't mean that those who do have an occasional drink around their children are abusive and/alcoholics.
post #67 of 104
I don't drink around children at all. I grew up with parents who drank alot and so I have alot of personal baggage that I carry with me from childhood around parents drinking around their kids. At least I know where my fear and judgement is coming from! I felt unsafe and scared alot when I was little and it all had to do with my parents and their friends being drunk. And when I say drinking I mean more than a glass or two of wine.
And I agree with Tummy about the birthday party thing...I think a child's birthday should be about them...not about the adults need or desire to be in an intoxicated state of mind. There are many times when you can have a drink...why at your kids birthday?(And so many parents do this!)
post #68 of 104
For my daughter's first birthday party, we went through 4 kegs of beer. It's a Hawaii thing. On the first birthday, you have a huge luau. It was kind of a big deal for a baby to survive the first year way back in the day. Anyway, we had about 300 people. It was fun.

We've had alcohol at her birthdays since then too. The past 4 birthdays or so have been held at a Yacht Club. They have a bar there, so parents were free to go get a cocktail if they wanted one.

I see no reason why a kids' birthday party can't be enjoyable for the adults too.
post #69 of 104
Quote:
A keg of beer? No. But we have had wine and some beer at a kids bday party


Why should the grown-ups drink juice boxes too? We just had DD's first B-Day party, a small get-together with family and friends and we had some microbrews and wine available, as well as plenty of alcohol-free alternatives. No one had more than a drink or two, and there were plenty of kids running around. It was a mellow, friendly little party with lots of food and a few drinks for those who wanted one. I honestly don't get the disdain for the concept. It has nothing to do with getting drunk (apple: alcoholic beverages consumed responsibly around children / orange: getting smashed around kids) The majority of people I know drink wine or beer because they genuinely enjoy it, not to get trashed. To each their own...
post #70 of 104
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post #71 of 104
Exactly.
post #72 of 104
Sure. We aren't big drinkers by any stretch of the imagination, but unlike some things that I think are bad for me (eating a box of jujufruits for dinner) and thus plan on not doing at all when I have kids cause I don't want to model that kind of behavior, I don't think drinking socially (at birthday parties etc) or occasionally is bad adult beahvior or behavior I would have a problem modeling for my kids. I won't get drunk - I don't think that is good adult behavior to model and actually I never drink to the point of drunkedness even now.
post #73 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkmilk
...I think a child's birthday should be about them...not about the adults need or desire to be in an intoxicated state of mind. There are many times when you can have a drink...why at your kids birthday?(And so many parents do this!)
Well, at all parties I give, for grown-ups or kids, I try and make sure everyone is comfortable. Among other things, I make sure I've plenty to eat and drink, I try to have things fine for vegetarians and vegans, I keep the meat/egg/fish things separate so there's no risk of things getting mixed up, I ask people if there are any allergies to be wary of, I always make sure there are plenty of non-alcoholic things available; but, I also have a punch with alcohol of some kind available. I collect punch recipes (w/ and w/o the fermented/distilled stuff) and I have found at children's parties it DOES help the kids' party be a success, believe it or not.

Why? As trivial as this may sound -- because I have found that certain grown-ups cease giving me foul looks for providing a HUGE bag of Rocket Balloons and 2 balloon pumps for the party. (You know, those are the long balloons you don't tie after inflating and that make a high-pitched whistle as they rocket 'round the room when you let 'em go. ) A glass of homemade sangria definately means fewer frayed tempers among the parents. No one is drunk, but a lot of people immediately feel a bit more calm with a glass of something relaxing in their hand, even if they only take a few sips. Anything that one would take time drinking tends to make someone relax a bit, I find.

Part of the difference in views is because of context. If one has grown up around an alcoholic, one knows that for someone with that problem, one drink is a problem and even that has to be avoided. On the other hand, one drink does not cause total intoxication for someone without that problem. Especially with food being eaten and when the person imbibing a bit is well-hydrated. And no one is drinking to be blitzed...so we are modelling responsible behaviour.
post #74 of 104
I'd rather my kids(and everyone elses for that matter) see their parents able to host a party or be part of an event that doesn't model alcohol = good time. There are many opportunities to show children responsible drinking...I think a child's b'day should be the oportunity to show kids that you don't need alcohol to have a good time.KWIM??
post #75 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkmilk
There are many opportunities to show children responsible drinking...I think a child's b'day should be the oportunity to show kids that you don't need alcohol to have a good time.KWIM??
Yea, but there is pleanty of of oportunity to show that too. In fact, it seems that occasional drinkers are going to have SO many oppotunities to model fun-without-alchohol that there is no reason to make some arbritary decision that all birthday parties need to be dry. Some will, some won't. No biggee. Lots of fun without alchohol. No need for set rules.

I think I saw my mom drunk once my entire childhood. I was 11 and thought it funny. Overall, there was more alcohol drunk in my childhood household than I would I drink. But still lots of alcohol free times and absolutely no parent drunkedness (aside that one time). Neither me nor my siblings are drinkers (my brother doesn't ever drink - he is empty calorie phobic). So, of course, I don't see this as an issue.

I probably modeled my h.s. and college drinking (always social drinking) on teenage movies (the 80s . . .). Sitcomes today are full of adults drinking. These seem to me more pressing models than mom drinking a beer at your barbeque b-day party.
post #76 of 104
Add me to the long list of posters who see no problem with consuming alcohol in the prescence of children. I've never been drunk around dd, but I regulalry have a glass of wine or a beer or two in her company.

The topic of drinking at kids' parties is very interesting to me right now though.

My daughter's most recent (sixth) birthday party was just a big easy going celebration in our home. All the people that love her most were there and that was what was important to her. She loved that party. She had a great time. Admittedly, it wasn't kid centered in any concentrated way. There were a few games, but mainly everyone, kids and adults, were just enjoying one another's company and just hanging out and the kids mainly did their own thing, which is what kids like to do. I had beer and wine there and most everyone drank but nobody became anything close to resembling drunk and everyone had a great time. I am pretty intimate with everyone who was present and was totally sure that no one was there that has any problems handling their liquor. I see nothing wrong with that.

OTOH, I went to a birthday party this past Sunday, and there was a very small amount of alcohol - just a small amount of beer and some pretty weak rum punch, but the grandfather of the birthday boy was just wrecked and wound up getting into a very ugly, very ill, very heated argument with a neighbor over the noise (the neighbor was being a total jerk, complaining about an otherwise very tame back yard barbecue in the middle of the day in a really disrespectful way). They were both shouting, cursing, and threatening each other in front of fifteen or so kids averaging age five. It was so freaking not cool. I walked out with my daughter literally within less than a minute after it began and I was pretty pissed off that she was exposed to that kinda crap. My thought is that if you know you have a problem drinker present at a kids party, especially one who is prone to get loud and aggresive, don't serve alcohol. After talking with other friends about the party, the birthday boy's mom knows all too well that her father has serious issues with alcohol. Why even risk a scene like that at your child's birthday party?
post #77 of 104
I see drunk/rude behavior once in a while at kids parties but mainly what most of the others are describing...adults drinking responsibly...knowbody getting drunk...but I do see silliness, and I do see the look on childrens' faces when Mom or Dad is too busy drinking and giggling with the adults and not paying attention to them.
( I should add that I'm at alot of parties because I'm a professional clown)

Also...when my ds1(12) went to a party there were parents drinking there and they let the kids have a few sips of beer!!! Totally not cool.
post #78 of 104
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shonahsmom

OTOH, I went to a birthday party this past Sunday, and there was a very small amount of alcohol - just a small amount of beer and some pretty weak rum punch, but the grandfather of the birthday boy was just wrecked and wound up getting into a very ugly, very ill, very heated argument with a neighbor over the noise (the neighbor was being a total jerk, complaining about an otherwise very tame back yard barbecue in the middle of the day in a really disrespectful way). They were both shouting, cursing, and threatening each other in front of fifteen or so kids averaging age five. It was so freaking not cool. I walked out with my daughter literally within less than a minute after it began and I was pretty pissed off that she was exposed to that kinda crap. My thought is that if you know you have a problem drinker present at a kids party, especially one who is prone to get loud and aggresive, don't serve alcohol. After talking with other friends about the party, the birthday boy's mom knows all too well that her father has serious issues with alcohol. Why even risk a scene like that at your child's birthday party?
yeah this is a little different, I'm guessing the grandfather is an alcoholic and has a problem with drinking so regardless of whether or not there was alcohol available at the party, he probably would have arrived drunk anyways... maybe not and so it could have been better had he been forced to be there sober. It reminded me of my middle child's 1st b-day party... like always DH's friends arrived with a couple of cases of beer. I made them bring it in thru the back because my teenage brother was there and he had just got out of rehab for some serious issues with drugs and alcohol... it wasn't that I thought he would be tempted to drink anything then, it was more so that I felt like it was a bad example in that situation. Turned out it wasn't that big of a deal and he had been around other's drinking so it was just something he would have to deal with eventually.




And regarding a pp, of course you can have a good time without alcohol and children see this all the time. I personally rarely drink, and I could honestly give it up for the rest of my life without missing it too much. But I still wouldn't and don't have a problem with other's drinking in front of my children, including at b-day parties... like I said if chuck e cheese serves alcohol there must be many other parents that don't mind.

And it seems like most people who have the "alcohol is evil" mentality have experienced something negative in regards to consumption. So it is completely understandable but IMO they have no right to judge other's who do not see things from their perspective.
post #79 of 104
When I was little, my father abused many chemicals in front of us, as well as drank himself into angry and abusive stupors. My memories of an adult drinking around me are extremely painful.

When DH was growing up, his (Sicilian American) family had wine with dinner, and he was allowed to have tastes until he was old enough (teens) to have a glass with dinner as well. Holidays meant a small glass of Sambuca or Oban as well, and rum cake.To him, memories surrounding drinking and his family are all warm and positive.

I guess my feeling on the matter is that a child should not be in a position where their parent's behavior is scaring them. Since it is hard to judge ones own behavior after a certain amount of drinks, I will be purposely stopping myself after a pre-set amount (like, "Ok I will have two glasses of Cab with dinner tonight") and ushering my child(ren) away if other family members get a little too much.

Clara
post #80 of 104
it's just a few drinks with friends.. no biggie.. It's not like your having all the kids stand around you and saying "hey watch me drink this can of beer" ya no?

I also wanted to add that i grew up in an alcoholic family. My dad was a HUGH drinker. Very abusive when he drank. That's mainly the reason i choose not to drink, but i see nothing wrong with a drink. As long as it's in a controlled manner and it not being abused then what's the big deal?
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