Originally Posted by boongirl
I have no idea what you mean by stating I "am one of those people."
I didn't say you were "one of those people". I said that your post indicated that you were. I'll admit I probably worded it badly. Your comment about "accomplishing a lot, then becoming a mother" absolutely reeked, to me
, of the same "women's work doesn't count" atttitude that turns my stomach. I did mention that you probably didn't mean it that way (I can't imagine anyone posting here who would
mean it that way). I quoted you because those words gave structure to one of the issues I've always had with most feminists I've met.
|I judge not you and I am not sure why you are judging me. If you do not want to label yourself, that is your choice. But don't judge me when you do not know me and are not sure what I am stating. Stand up for who and what you are. Don't let anything I say put you on the defensive, particularly when it is not even about you.
I'm not on the defensive. As I said, your post read to me as the elitist brand of feminism that I can't stand, and have run into all too often in my life. And, of course I was judging you (badly) from your post - you're doing the same, by suggesting that I'm defensive. We all do that online...it's the major flaw of internet communication.
|That being said, if it were not for feminism, you would not even be able to entertain the idea that being "accomplished" meant anything other than financial and political power, in the male sense of the words.
Of course I would. I may, or may not, believe that it meant less than male accomplishments, but women have always felt that they were "accomplished" in various things, be they embroidery, sewing, quilt-making, music (as you mentioned above), cooking, etc. As I'm a complete write-off at most of the domestic arts, I'm far more impressed by a good seamstress than I am by a college degree or a high-paying job.
|Once again, I bring up the book America's Women: 400 years of dolls, drudges, helpmates, and heroines by Gail Collins. Seriously, anyone, particularly any woman, who casts any doubts on the impotance feminism has played in your life needs to do some reading. There is absolutely no way that there does not exist a woman today who's life has not been made better by feminism. We are all in better places today than our greatgrandmothers and we have feminists to thank for that.
Actually...my great-grandmother couldn't have cared less about leaving her home to work, and today she'd probably have had to, as her husband wasn't well educated, and probably couldn't have supported them in a modern economy. She was a very
accomplished woman - a great mother, an unbelievably good cook, talented seamstress, etc. I doubt she'd have found a lot of improvements.
However, that aside, I agree that things are better than they were in many ways because of feminism. I also feel that it's a mixed blessing (there are many women now who have
to WOH, instead of having to SAH, because one income won't cut it), and that a lot of it would have happened because of technological improvements, anyway.
I hope dd knows that she can be whatever she wants when she grows up. I hope both my boys know the same thing. That doesn't mean dd won't choose to be a homemaker (I did, and I always knew I could do whatever I wanted). I don't think feminism is incompatible with motherhood, but I do think some forms of it are.