Car opinions needed

[NYCVeg]

This is a stupid question, but could use some opinions as dh and I are feeling really indecisive...

So, my sister has very, very graciously offered to lend us her car for the weeks before and after my EDD--thus solving our highly stressful dilemma of how we're getting to the Birth Center (long story short: we have no car; rentals are only available during business hours and I'm due on a holiday weekend, anyway; we wanted to install the car seat ahead of time; our only friends who have cars travel a lot for work, family all live 4+ hours away, etc.).

The question is...when should we have her bring it down here? The possibilities are:
1) The weekend of May 6th/7th: I will be 37 weeks on the 8th; or
2) The weekend of May 13th/14th: I'll be 38 weeks on the 15th

The benefit to having it early is, of course...baby could come early (midwives will deliver at the birth center anytime after 36 weeks/5 days. However, it is very unlikely that she WILL come so early (being a first baby), much more likely that she'll come late, and I really don't want to take advantage of my sister's kindness more than have to.

So...what sounds most reasonable and least taxing on all involved?

[anathea]

Wow - it's a tough choice, and I can see the reasons for wanting to wait it out, but I would have her bring it the earlier weekend. My first was born at 37w5d - So, while they do tell you it's more usual to go late, you should certainly be prepared after that 37 week point. It sounds like your sister is sweet & generous!

[mamacatsbaby]

Ack, I'm horrible at making these kinds of decisions. My 1st thought was to go for the 13/14. But that may be because I seem to be proving the 1st babe=going later theory. How very sweet of your sister! Good luck making a decision!

[Kirsten]

The weekend of May 13/14 seems plenty early enough to me.

How far away from you does your sister live? How many cars does her family have? Does she have kids? How many/what ages? How far does her dh work from their home? Can he carpool to work those weeks/month so she'll have a car?

Even if you go with the later of the two weekends you gave, you could easily have her car for three weeks, maybe more. Is there any way to get the car May 20th? Or the week between?

I know it would be stressful to not have the car beforehand, and I do think that just for your mental well being, you should get it a week or ten days early - but more than that really seems like overkill to me.

Congratulations on your baby!

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by Kirsten

The weekend of May 13/14 seems plenty early enough to me.

How far away from you does your sister live? How many cars does her family have? Does she have kids? How many/what ages? How far does her dh work from their home? Can he carpool to work those weeks/month so she'll have a car?

Even if you go with the later of the two weekends you gave, you could easily have her car for three weeks, maybe more. Is there any way to get the car May 20th? Or the week between?

I know it would be stressful to not have the car beforehand, and I do think that just for your mental well being, you should get it a week or ten days early - but more than that really seems like overkill to me.

Congratulations on your baby!

She lives in NYC, so they have the car just for "fun" (weekend trips, the occassional trip to Costco, etc.). She and her boyfriend do not have children; they walk to work; they take public transportation to do shopping and other errands. So leaving it with us doesn't *really* affect her life in a serious way; I just want to be as respectful of her generosity as possible.

She lives 4+ hours away from us (more with traffic), works very long hours, and travels a good deal for work (often several trips each month, for 2-5 days at a time), so it would be difficult or impossible for her to get it to us at the last minute if I did have an unexpectedly early labor.

I'd be really uncomfortable with waiting until the 20th, and, in some ways, going that late doesn't even help us; we'd still need to have plans in place (and this was the problem before she offered her car) to get to the birth center, just in case--and, believe me, it's far, far more complicated for us than you can imagine. Our birth center asks you to install a carseat in your car by week 36 (and get it inspected); 36 weeks isn't an option for us, but waiting until 39 weeks doesn't seem like a good idea either. My other sister's first baby came over a week early.

[Throkmorton]

I would probably opt for the 13th/14th, and just phone to make an appointment for an inspection that week sometime.

[eco_mama]

As long as you aren't showing any possible signs of delivering early, I would wait till the 13/14th. But then again, life is very unpredictable......

[Marylizah]

Well, I'm a semi-professional worrier and if I were in your shoes I'd go with the earliest weekend.

Since your sister doesn't use the car on a daily or even semi-regular basis, I'd ask to get it early because you never know. And, that way you have the car seat installed and ready to go for the birth center.

And then afterwards, I would do something really, really nice for your sister to thank her for her sacrifice-- like send her and her partner on an all-expenses paid weekend trip somewhere-- for example, a destination that would involve her driving her car. (Since you mentioned she uses it for weekend getaways.)

But, as I said, I'm a worrier, and I know it would become a big obsession with me and cause me some major stress. So... Good luck making your decision! Let us know how it turns out.

[KatSG]

Haven't read other responses, but if it was me, I'd get it as early as possible. That way you can do any last minute errands without trouble and it's there and you'll stop thinking about it.

[alexisyael]

I'd get it earlier... you never know and it is better to be prepared. She's obviously OK with you having it that early...

[NYCVeg]

Well, I left it in her hands. She and her bf will be driving it down, so I told them to pick whichever weekend is most convenient for them. If they do the later one, we'll coordinate an on-call schedule with the couple of friends we have here with cars--it's a PITA, but much easier to do when you're talking about one week instead of five, particularly given the unlikelihood of such an early birth (my mom went over 40 weeks with all 4 of her births--closer to 42, actually--and I have zero signs of anything right now, at 35 weeks). I guess worst case scenario is: she picks the later weekend, baby comes early, we find SOME way to get the birth center, and they drive down to meet their new niece instead of to deliver a car!

We will DEFINITELY be getting her something to express how grateful we are. I wish I could send her on a trip! Unfortunately, we're not *quite* in the same tax bracket that she is, so not really an option. (She and her bf both make 6 figures; they own an apartment in Manhattan and just purchased a weekend home; they drive a Lexus; bf just took her on a surprise trip to Italy for her birthday. I'm a student, dh works for the government and is taking a pay cut next year, we rent our apartment, own nothing, and have a baby on the way...I think the gift will have to be in the sweet and thoughtful category, rather than the extravagent category!)

[Mamabeakley]

Amanda -

I don't think they actually care if you have the carseat *installed* by your 36 week point. Maybe they do if you're at the birth center, but for hb, with DS & this one, I think they just wanted to know that I *had* a car seat. I haven't got ours in the car yet b/c it means moving DS's seat out of the middle, where he's safest, to the side, where as the "big kid" he's going to ride when the baby comes. But we did practice installing it so we'll know what we're doing when the time comes.

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by Mamabeakley

Amanda -

I don't think they actually care if you have the carseat *installed* by your 36 week point. Maybe they do if you're at the birth center, but for hb, with DS & this one, I think they just wanted to know that I *had* a car seat. I haven't got ours in the car yet b/c it means moving DS's seat out of the middle, where he's safest, to the side, where as the "big kid" he's going to ride when the baby comes. But we did practice installing it so we'll know what we're doing when the time comes.

For the birth center, they actually do want it installed, as I understand--b/c, presumably, you could go into labor any time after that (36 weeks/5 days is the earliest they'll attend, if memory serves) and you need to transport the baby BACK from the birth center--you stay at the bc for only around 4 hours after birth, and I think the assumption is that your partner will be far too tired and/or too busy w/ you and baby to install it during those 4 hours. Actually, if we could practice installing it, it would be one thing...but since we don't have access to the car we'd be using ahead of time (and aren't even 100% sure WHICH car we'll be using), we can't even do that.

[KatSG]

And don't forget, the vast majority of people don't install the car seat correctly, at least not the first time, so if you can, get to a clinic with the carseat as soon as she brings it down.