I'll show you mine.....

[Mytwokids]

Okay so my 6 year old has taken up the habit of showing off her privates. I know this behavior is normal but how do you handle it. I don't want to have her flashing her stuff everywhere we go but I also want to be sensitive not to make her feel ashamed. Last night I sort of blew my lid about it and I really regret it. How do I teach her about modesty without making her feel bad it about. We've talked about it a lot but she doesn't seem to understand the importance of it. At least not enough to stop doing playing show and tell.

Micky

[Meguey]

Oh, I know what you mean! We've had to make a firm family rule about keeping clothes on downstairs and out of the house Maybe dress her in bibtops so she can't flash people without serious work, giving you time to re-direct her?

Also, talking about how her body is lovely and she can explore all she wants - by herself, in her bed or in the bath!!

[cool_mom]

I guess that the best way to stop her from acting that way is based on the circumstances. Is she showing off to her friends or strangers? Is she doing it for the attention or another reason?

My older dd was the same way when she was about 5. Much of it was that she wanted to be friends with a group of boys, and "showing off" was the best way to get their attention (I guess that works with boys of all ages).

We handled it by supervising her when she was playing because she knew better than to do anything like that while either dh or myself were watching. I would also suggest dressing her in overalls or pants w/a belt, if possible because dresses could be quickly lifted up or pants pulled down.

[amberielle]

We went through this phase with DD. We had a firm, but gentle talk about how some things are private. We stressed the importance of not showing certain things off. It's fine for her to look at (or touch), but not for everyone. We had this talk after she quickly stripped out of her button down dress... in the grocery store.

[gaialice]

Same problem here with 5 yo, it must be an age thing. Unfortunately for us she witnessed a group of little boys showing their behinds and laughing and she thinks it is very funny. She did that for the first time while we were on a boat trip and it was too much for dh. He really lost it. I later on explained to dd that her body is nice but it is not a good idea to show parts that are private. However, both her and her sister do pull up their skirts. They love wearing skirts, and will not wear pants. I repeat repeat repeat, but I think I should take this up at family meetings....

[luckylady]

My dd doesn't show her privates, but she lifts up her dresses and skirts all of the time out of habit. I bought some of these: http://monkeybarbuddies.com/index.html

love them. Certainly more effort to pull down than panties!

[LIZnCHAD]

I would try explaining to her that some things are just so special that we keep them to ourselves because they're private. You can also teach her the word modesty. If she's anything like my friends 4 yr old dd she'll be extatic to learn such a new and important word.

[MomToKandE]

We have trouble with my five year old dd thinking that bottoms are funny and that showing hers is funny. We're working on it.... I also struggle with teaching her that's not OK without teaching her to be ashamed of her body.

She's another one that likes skirts and dresses but we always put cotton/spandex bike shorts on underneath. We've been doing that forever just because she's an active girl and her dress would never stay down.

Thanks for the monkeybar buddies link! I haven't seen as many of this type of short in the 7-14 size range Dd is a beanpole (another reason dresses work well for her) so her smaller-sized bike shorts still fit but if she ever fills out we'll need to find bigger shorts.

[treereach]

We are pretty open about the body not being nothing but sexual, but I approach the nudity in public/private parts subject from a safety point of view. Maybe some would consider that to be too negative though. My 'private parts' speech for DS1 came at the same time as my 'nobody touches you or looks but doc, parents, or self and if they do we need to know right away, etc.' This apparently imparted enough gravity for the situation because DS has never really gotten into the body parts display game. Hopefully it will work on DS2 as well.

[mommy68]

My daughter is bad about this too. I just go by the moment. Whatever she is doing or saying I will comment regarding that particular moment. I just usually let her know that is why she wears undies is because that area needs to be covered. She eventually understood but still forgets sometimes. I even made it fun and told her what color her undies were and she asked what color mine were so I let her peek and see above my waistline. Then she asked daddy and brother their color undies and they wear white, etc.

Another thing that I do is put shorts on my daughter when she is wearing a dress. Most of her skirts have built-in covers but her dresses don't and she is bad about sitting wrong or holding her dress up in the air and showing the goods. So anytime she wants a dress on then she also gets the shorts underneath.