Update w/details on Sophia's birth and mamas, need your support - Page 2

[alexisyael]

This is a lot to process... I'm sure your emotions are spinning every which way right now.

I think it's important to keep in mind (as a couple of other people have said) that you really did a WONDERFUL thing, being so in tune that you knew something was wrong! Your mama-intuition really came through!

[radicalmama]

Oh wow...all I can say is, breathe deep and feel what you're feeling.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[~*max*~]

Guin, thank you for updating us. We have all been thinking about you & praying for you. Congratulations on the birth of your very special daughter. You are an amazing, courageous mama - just look at what you have been able to accomplish this far. Please take very good care of yourself, let others help out whenever possible, and know that we are all here for you in any way we can be. Sending you much love...

[nova22]

Congratulations on your birth, even if it wasn't exactly what you expected. I can imagine it must be very difficult on you to be so torn between happiness and sadness.

[Hollysmom]

Congrats on your baby girl! I am so sorry you are both off to such a rough start. Please take care of yourself and that sweet baby girl

[flowmom]

Dear Guinevere,



I cannot imagine the mix of emotions you must be feeling right now. It will take a long time to sort them all out won't it? It can be so hard when we picture our lives going a certain way, then suddenly we are off on a totally different track and feel that life events are in control, not us.

Some mothers have found good support from the ICAN yahoogroup as they process their cesarian birth experiences. I would imagine that finding support for learning about what it means to be a mother to a baby with Down's Syndrome will be very important to you too - I hope that you can find it. Having hung around ICUs before, I can imagine that watching my baby's experiences in NICU would be totally harrowing.

Now is the time to ask for anything you need from anyone. Make sure that basic self-care is a priority in your life. You are strong mama - I wish for you that the Universe brings you everything that you need in this difficult period.

[Happypants]

congratulations on the birth of your babe! i'm truly sorry that you didn't get the birth experience you wanted and that you've had such a lot thrown at you all at once. it's hard to process, isn't it? my guy is 9 1/2 weeks old, and i still don't feel like i'll ever really understand what happened to us.

i hope you are in a nicu with a supportive staff who don't have to be reminded that you're the mama and who treat your girl with gentleness and compassion. and i hope that her stay there is as short as possible and you have her home soon! you and your family will be in my thoughts.

[darsmama]

Congratulations on Sophia! A beautiful name, for sure. I think mixed emotions would be completely normal. Like a PP said, you can mourn your losses and celebrate her arrival all at the same time.
You did good, Mama...You really did.

[JayGee]

Congratulations on the birth of baby Sophia. The others have said so many wise and wonderful things to you .

[KatSG]

Oh, Guin. First, I'm sorry you didn't get your homebirth. I know how much you wanted it and we all wanted it for you. I am glad that you are okay as I was getting worried about you when you posted how high your blood pressure was.

And now you have your beautiful girl...You already know it won't be easy, but I hope you also know that your life is about to be full of sweet surprises that you could never have planned for yourself. I have a cousin, Jamie, with Down's and a friend has a baby girl, Heidi with Down's. I know you have the stamina, the humor and the fierce love to welcome this baby into your family and into your heart completely. I'm sure you already have. You're right, you will need support, because even after all your parenting this is going to be different. And know that we are all here for you on those days when it all seems like too much (we all have those days).

You're in my thoughts daily. Big hugs!

[brown eyed girls]

((((hugs))))

My first planned home birth turned out badly too. I still find myself grieving parts of it now, 10 years later. And it's OK. It's OK, because there was a loss there.

My baby had turned breech so we did a natural delivery in the hospital but the doc was a major jerk. You know how they show breech delivery on the breech website? He didn't do it that way at all... he held the baby up by the ankles and tried to force his head out... it took 11 minutes of brain-damaging anoxia and the doctor shoving his hand up my rear end to push through that way to try to get the head out! My baby's APGARS were also 1, 2, and 4. He spent a week in NICU (he was 42 weeks so he had THAT going for him). But on the 3rd day they gave me the "IF he lives, he'll be mentally retarded, blind and deaf" speech! I'm sure you can relate to the awful things doctors will tell you just to cover their butts and be able to say "We told her it could happen."

It WILL take time to process all that has happened. It WILL take time to grieve. People will say horrible things... I had people ACCUSE me of causing it all by planning a homebirth and then insisting on a natural delivery instead of a c/s. Everyone called the doctor a hero-- no matter that he didn't follow protocol in delivering a breech and caused all the trouble. I'd have been better off doing it at home alone, honestly.

Many people will tell you "at least he's alive" or "it could be worse" .... and some people will say even uglier things. Just realize right now that the problem is they don't know what to say.

My good news is that I have gone on to have my homebirths, my water birth, and my 10 year old son who almost died at birth is on the honor roll at school! He's not blind, not deaf, not mentally retarded. Don't ask me how-- I have to believe God protected him and healed him. And God protected me, and kept my marriage strong-- made it stronger, even.

Bless you.... ((((hugs again))))

[mimid]

Guin! I hope all goes well with her care and your recovery and that you and your family get all the support you need.

[KindRedSpirit]

Guin,Sophia and fam-Congratulations on being so in tune!And I hope you're finding a good new groove to life as it now is.I just wanted to post that i remember an article in Mothering about how one family grew with their DS child.It was the sweetest article,and I'm sure it is archived here.Also,I know there is a great DS community of support in these forums,just a whole new sweet way of life.I hope the health risks are minimal with you little Sophia,and all the best for all of you.You are meant for each other.And that means you are one amazing mamma-woman!