Budgeting for a baby–need advice and info

[aranya]

I'm not yet a mama but DH and I have been talking about having children. I really want to TTC but DH isn't ready yet-he feels that we need more money. So my question is, how much does it cost to have a baby in a NE city, at least for the first year or two? I'm approaching 30 so I don't want to put this off too long! DH and I are both grad students, living frugally within our means on a small income, with a little bit in savings. I have a sense that we would manage, even with a baby although parental help is out of the question. The birth would be covered by my insurance but we would have to pay for the baby's insurance. We know that we probably wouldn't be able to afford day care. But what are the other things that we would need to factor into our budget-I can think of diapers and laundry but there are probably many other things that wouldn't occur to me! How did you plan financially for your first baby? Thanks!

[alegna]

We planned to buy a house first so that we would qualify for more while I was still working. We always planned for me to stay home with kids. Carseat(s) that's a biggie. Really though, all in all, I've not found having a baby to be expensive. I got more gear than I could use at a shower. We did buy a couple of strollers (only one at first.... the others were later and smaller/cheaper) and a few carriers. I spread out buying diapers while I was pregnant so that I didn't have to get too many at once. Clothes- but those can be gotten cheaply (and everyone gives them to you) I will say that our food spending has gone up - mostly for ME because I eat like a horse these days. But other than that I haven't found it to be expensive. I did pay out of pocket up front for my homebirth midwife- SO worth it. But we got reimbursed 100%

good luck! Planning is fun.

-Angela

[Snowdrift]

Homebirth if that is something you are interested in. Our first is due in a few weeks and it has been a major struggle to pay for that. Hospital is not an option for us for various reasons and our insurance does not cover homebirth at all. Most don't, unless your state mandates it.

[1growingsprout]

baby costs

i think its all what you want to spend. instead of buying things new you can get baby gear used and thats usually very gently used at resale shops and yard sales... also check craigslist.org and you local mom clubs... formula if not BF and diapers are costly however i usually buy store brand and they are fine also i registered at every baby site on the web... pampers huggies similac gerber etc and continually get coupons and freebee's i love to coupon and i am a firm believer in COUPONS.... i stock up when the items are close to free so i dont have to pay full price.

i seem to spend alot of $ on bibs, i probaby spend $50/year thats alot in my mind but thats just me....

as for health insurance, if you and DH are students and have low income i think you could qualify for state assistance for DC as well as WIC and possibly food stamps.... there is no shame in qualifying for programs. they also have daycare assistance if needed.

i would budget for a new crib and mattress... somethings i wont buy used.... i think things get more expensive after the baby is 18 mos or so....

if you have to pay the baby's medical dont forget to budget to vaccinate if you so choose and all those wellbaby check ups and the RX when baby ggets sick.....

[alegna]

Well, cloth diapers are less expensive than disposables. Breastfeeding is practially free (MUCH cheaper than formula) AND my dd has never been sick enough to go to the dr. Add to that co-sleeping (we don't own a crib...)

AP is a great way to save money!

-Angela

[Shiloh]

Well if possible finish your schooling and one of you get a job (medical coverage, something to fall back on, a way to pay any student loans)
Also if you are starting a career that would be difficult to do with baby in tow you might want to have a year of work under your belt before TTC.

Babies are not that expensive, you can do with very little and shop around ask for donations, craigslist. But its the decisions they bring with them, larger apartment/house...your priorities change.

I'd say start a baby fund now. Figure out anyone got a figure how much a child would cost a month, if you can save that every month for a year then you could possibly afford one.

But children can have special needs, special diets....

[Amys1st]

I had a friend tell me several years ago when we were thinking of ttc. If you wait to be able to afford to have kids, you will never have them.

I do not know how much truth is in that, but start observing what other parents around you do. Babies can be done quite frugally and very expensively. Depends on how you choose. Your baby will not care if their stuff is all matching and expensive and brand new. They will poop on it, spit on it just like anything else. Also, I find all that big stuff is just clutter. Its so much easier to live with a smaller diaper bag, carrying your baby close to you and dh, and breastfeeding as long as possible since its as already said- free. Also it saves money by not having several trips to the Dr.

[justmama]

I agree with the post above me who said that if you wait until you are financially ready, you'll have have kids! And kids NEVER come when they are supposed to and they never seem to be able to be planned. I'll be completely honest with you, the only baby "equipment" we've really needed was my Maya Wrap sling and our carseat and diapers and clothing. Everything else was optional. Everyone will give you clothing or you can yard sale shop for everything during your pregnancy. DIapers can be a big expense but if you spread it out throughout your pregnancy and shop frugally using the TP here on MDC or ebay, you can make it work. A sling can be easily bought here on the TP. Carseats CAN be bought at a thrift store but in my opinion, you should buy new. A carseat is the only thing(well besides undies of course!) I'd buy new. You are supposed to buy a completely new seat if you ever get in an accident and they are only good for a few years anyway. You don't know a carseat's history when you get it used. It could have some minute little crack from a previous accident that causes it to malfunction if you get into an accident and cause harm to your baby. NOT COOL! But $60 for a carseat isn't bad. Find coupons. Everything else can be bought used. Breastfeeding is free(except for the increase in food you'll spend for YOU) and cloth diapers are cheaper than disposables. Co-sleeping is free, no crib to buy. Babies can be cheap! It just matters how you look at parenting and what baby "needs."

Meg

[Emilie]

ok- i am not sure about one above poster but....lol..i think she might be joking.
babies can be cheap if you want them to be.
if you are interested in a homebirth i am not sure the cost it varies state to state- 1500- 3000 about. if you qualify for medicade that will cover a hospital birth.
clothes- you can gets lots of clothes for free from friends relatives potig on freecycle- or for cheap at garage sales and resale shops.
we cosleep which means sleeping with yur kids- that saves $- no crib- however that is not why we do it.
bf- free- maybe a few nursing bras.(i don't use them)
maternity clothes you can also get from friends or on ebay or after 50 posts here on the trading post.
we do not vaccinate -for various reasons- there is a forum here to help you with that decision.
reaaly a baby in the eary stages is cheap except for the cost of delivery.
cloth diapers also save $$$

hang out on mothering- there is a ton of info on here!!!!
good luck. you can afford to have a baby. it is a matter of what you see of importance!!! if you want a ton of crap for it brand new then well......
but you can do it cheap- and the baby does not mind!!!
good luck!!!

[Amys1st]

oops I meant to say done quite frugally OR quite expensively not and!


I would buy the best carseat you can afford and thats about it. I found most stuff here on the tp- sling cds etc.

[aranya]

Thank you mamas for your encouragement. Now it only remains for me to convince DH that it would be feasible for us to have a baby in the near future!
I totally agree that BF, CDing and cosleeping are great ideas (thats how I was raised) and economical as well. And I would be able to inherit clothes etc from friends and relatives. Re the car seat-we don't actually have a car yet, and don't need one where we live. We just walk everywhere and use public transportation. But acquiring a car is something we might consider if we were to have a baby, so that would be a major expense. I would love to hear about the experience of urban mamas wihout cars, though that might be more appropriate for another thread. Any non-car families out there?

[Shiloh]

We've only had a car half my adult life.
We live in the city, dh takes the car to work.
There are many advantages to not having a car at my disposal.
1. you don't try to do too much, its more relaxing.
2. you do errands together not just you lugging the kids into a minivan alone.
3. you can't get drive through.....

[Poddi]

Do get enough insurance for you and baby, though and arrange help for the first couple weeks. You might not need those but you can't be too well prepared. An unexpected medical bill might put you in debt for years.

[root*children]

I agree with Amy, too! My brother & SIL keep saying they "need" all these things before they have a baby, but c'mon! They aren't getting any younger! I think if you want a baby, just do it! You could save all you want, but if you're baby is born with severe health problems or something, it wouldn't matter, you know?

Does your income qualify you/your baby for state health insurance? It's usually a pretty lenient wage, not hard to qualify for. We did hospital births, but only because we had our babies where there were pretty progressive hospitals, and our medicaid still covered a midwife to be the sole attending. Then they kept me on medicaid for a couple months after each birth, but the kids are covered until they're 18, I think. We'd go broke if we didn't have that!

We bought our carseats used, from personal friends, though, not from resale shops... and got really nice ones! My youngest son's latest was from a family that took a train to another state to buy a car, but forgot to bring a carseat, so they had to buy a brand new one just for the ride home. We bought it for $20, and it's less than a year old, and only been used on the one trip! It can be done!!

Diapers all used, slings and diapers and clothes as baby shower gifts, more clothes and bibs (pp - $50 on bibs per year??? wth?!) and even all our soft-soled shoes and more cloth diapers at yardsales/thrift stores. I think if you are raised as frugally as you say (which I was, too), it just comes natural to have a baby frugally. A big challenge I actually found was to try and keep my mouth shut at all the other mamas I knew who were pregnant with me and buying all this RIDICULOUS stuff, disposable everything, etc... just because they felt like they *must* have it!

[Eman'smom]

I think for you the big costs would be health insurance for the baby and day care (if you need it). The rest is easy to do without/get as gifts ect. They can truely be as expensive or cheap as you want to be.

I'm only now starting to feel the pinch of kids. As they are getting older the gifts dry up, thift becomes harder to find, activities start....... you get the idea. But we spent very little on them as babies.

[MidwifeErika]

My kids have been really cheap so far. I stay home with them and work out of the house. The things that are expensive are health insurance.... and that is about it. It gets to be a bit more expensive as you add more to your family because of things like: needing a bigger place to live, needing a bigger vehicle, etc. For the first few years, they eat very little, don't mind 2nd hand everything, and don't demand much at all. As my kids get older I know they are going to want to join activities and that will certainly cost us more and it will be harder to find clothes and such in great condition 2nd hand.

The healthcare is the biggest thing. Had we not had good insurance when our first was born, she would have cost us over 60,000 (preemie with almost a month NICU time).... we still wouldn't have recovered from that. Good insurance or coverage is really priceless since you can't plan ahead if your child will need to use it or not. But that is really the biggest expense I can think of.

[kerc]

i;m a graduate student with two kids. i'd recommend one of you be ABD (if you're doing the phd route) before you have the kiddo. That's kind of off topic, but pertinent because once that kiddo comes if you have no daycare then either you never see your partner or you don't have work time to get the thesis done.

[Peony]

For me having a baby has been cheap, having a child has not been. When dd was a baby we didn't need much, and we still really don't in that aspect. I have spend a fortune in healthcare costs that insurance does not cover. DD is sensitive and allergic, keeping her healthy requires constant attention from "alternative" providers that of course our very expensive insurance doesn't cover. I didn't expect that cost when I was figuring everything our several years ago.

[Free Thinker]

I read threads on-line all the time about how cheap babies can be, and I agree, BF, co-sleep, ask around for clothes, cloth diaper and you are all set... but that's not all that babies need. Insurance is a biggie, I think it cost about $80-90 per month per kid, and that's not for the good insurance either. ANd we have co-pays per Dr. visit. Luckily I have only had to take one child into the Dr. for sickness. It took 3 Dr. visits ($30 each) meds ($55) and gas to each visit. Then there were the lab costs for the tests they ran (Dr. doens't just give out anti., they test to make sure they will be effective. DD had a UTI). The total out of pocket expense that month was about $400! When I see people who don't think they need at least SOME emergency cash, I just want to cringe! That is A LOT of money, but frankly, my baby had a 103-104 temp. under the arm, and was very close to being hospitalized! Luckily she perked up a bit, so I was allowed to take her home. That is just ONE example of how expensive kids can be. Besides the normal eating, heath, and diapers, you probably do want to spend *some* money on the luxuries, like good pictures, a nice cute outfit (I usually get my girls 2 or so matching outfits per season, the rest is from grandma or used) a few new toys, ect.

Now onto what happens in 2 years or so, when your child is eating more food (I'd say about $20 per week, not much, but it still adds up), is ruining clothes, outgrowing stuff quickly, and wearing things out. I am having a harder time finding used stuff still in GC for my 3 year old, and she also needs new shoes a couple of times per year. That adds up! This fall my DD had absolutely NOTHING to wear! No pants or jeans that fit at all. I spent over $100 just on necessary clothes for her, and another $30 on a pair of good tennis shoes. I could probably find some stuff a bit cheaper, but I"d still figure spending more on an older child's clothes. Also, my 3 year old wants to do crafts, activities, ect. that don't really cost much, but it does add up.

Now, IL don't know how much you have, or how well you've budgeted, I just want you to know that kids can and DO cost money! I would hate for you to have one now, and be bombarded by the cost in another 3 years or so. Also, since you are in school, you should figure *some* sort of childcare cost. You can do some work while a baby sleeps, but it becomes harder when they get a bit bigger, like 1-2ish, then when they get to be about 3 or so, they start to entertaint themselves a bit. (or that's how mine has been anyway)/

Good LUck with whatever you decide!

[nicandboys]

We bought cloth diapers, breastfed and co-slept, so we didn't invest in a lot of baby equipment or spend money on formula or disposables. The biggest expense was paying for a homebirth since it's not covered by our insurance. When we were really broke, our midwife agreed to wait and let us pay in one lump sum when we got our tax return back.

It has gotten more expensive as they've gotten older though. My kids have hollow legs, they are all skinny and eat all day(11 yr old, 5 yr old, 3 yr old, 23 mo old). We buy organic and have big grocery bills, although there are ways you can be creative and save even doing that. There are extra curricular things to pay for, family things we do every year that they wouldn't have cared about as babies(yearly science museum membership, and yearly waterpark membership), their clothes are more expensive since they can't just hang out in a t-shirt or pjs and diaper all day anymore. Medical expenses are one of the biggest things if your insurance isn't great. Ds split his lip last night and we spent $45 taking him to urgent care.

I also think that they grow so quickly that good pictures of kids, taken very often, are essential. And then frames and albums to keep them in. If you have a decent camera you can take them yourself and it'll be less expensive.

If you plan to homeschool, there can be expenses with that. It depends though, you can be creative with that too.

Good luck!