I know that this does not really speak to your situation of handling the insults about the housekeeping--but I love having a clean house. For me it is an extension of Feng Shui--having an orderly, clean, comfortable home can help you to feel more peaceful and happy. If you ask most people how they feel in a clean home or clean, fresh clothes and most will agree that there is something wonderful about cleanliness. I think it becomes something spirtual--cleanliness and order within our home can feed that neglected part of our soul. When your home is pulled down in mess it would reasonable to feel pulled down internally within yourself. There are all kinds of disorder in this world. We cannot do much about a lot of it but we can do something about our own little corners of life, and make our homes sanctuaries for us and our families.
I use to be messy growing up too, and now I keep the house really neat--because I found how much I loved the feeling of being nestled in my clean house. It takes a lot of work and commitment to keep the house tidy, (especially because I do all the cleaning since my husband works long hours and I am a SAHM) but the payoff is incredibly--not just for my family, but for me. There is nothing better than looking around my tidy house, cup of hot tea in hand, walking into my clean, healthy kitchen to start preparing a good meal. After we eat I clean up right away, and always go the extra mile--I wipe down the counters, scrub the sink, and put everything way so that the kitchen looks wonderful when I am done.
I also like to have some fresh flowers around the house each week. Every wednesday I buy two bouquets--usually sunflowers and roses, and divide them up to go in different rooms...the bathroom, the bedroom, on the dining table and livingroom. I put them in teapots and little vases. So I will clean each room, and after it is totally done, I put the finishing touch with a little jar of flowers.
I have found that I push myself to clean sort of like how I push myself to exercise. I never want to do it, but I will jump up and think "do this room" and if you work really hard (I actually get a great workout from it if I do it quickly) I get a great feeling after it is done. When I am upset I often clean rather than laying around lethargically--I find it helps me to work some angst out, and being in a clean house is the ultimate mood lifter. It is hard work--you can't be lazy and let things slide--you have to commit to making your home cozy and clean. When you do your physical cleaning this is a chance to help increase the positive energy to your home.
Try something new this week--try pushing yourself to clean your home each day--not just once, but throughout the day. Work on your living space, and see if it helps to clear out the cobwebs in your mind.