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Anyones else dh complain about messy house? - Page 2

post #21 of 32
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post #22 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kellid
150% at least here. I also heard a story of my dh before we were married, that he and his room-mate threw away dishes after eating, because the sink was full. Yup, he's mine ladies!!!!!!!

MINE TOO!!!!!
post #23 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emilie
im not saying i dont want a clean house! i do- however i just also have a 2 yr old and 5 mo old- i try-
If you don't have help, I think it's impossible to have a perfectly clean house and well loved and nurtured children at those ages, in many cases. Unless you have the world's most placid children which I certainly did NOT!
post #24 of 32
My DH is always complaining about it. As far as I'm concerned, if it's bothering him - he can clean it. We both WOH full time. While at home, I do 99.5% of the grocery shopping, meal planning, cooking and childcare. I do 80% of the laundry. 9 times out of 10, I clean the bathroom. I'm tapped.

BUT - he's NOT saying that it's MY fault that the house is dirty (it's general complaining about how "lazy" we ALL are). He's really awesome, though. BUT - I don't want to hear his 'itchin' - he knows that if he wants it done, he can A. get up and do it or B. ask me to help him.
post #25 of 32
I think if a DH complains, leave it up to HIM to clean. That way it'll get done just the way he wants it to.

My DH is a SAHP and I work at home. So I see how little time he has to do anything over and above taking care of the 2 kids. Sure, he could plop them in front of the TV and wash dishes, but I'd rather they all had fun together instead.

Sometimes I say stuff about the house being messy, but I never mean that HE should clean more. I am just generally frustrated that things never stay clean no matter how diligent we seem to be. In fact my comments are mostly directed at me, since I am bad about cleaning and have always been messy.
post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancy926
Sometimes I say stuff about the house being messy, but I never mean that HE should clean more. I am just generally frustrated that things never stay clean no matter how diligent we seem to be. In fact my comments are mostly directed at me, since I am bad about cleaning and have always been messy.
That's exactly what I was trying to say that DH is "saying," and I do it, too!

Thanks for being able to be clear - 'cause I'm not able to do that today!
post #27 of 32
Dp always complains about the house, thinks its "dirty"- I claim it's "lived in".

Yes there are a few dishes in the sink and some (ok a bunch) of clothes on the floor but nothing is actually dirty. The bathroom and kitchen gets a regular cleaning, and trash is taken out on a bi daily basis.

What I have learned is that our definitions of "dirty", "messy", and "cluttered" are extremely different. What I call messy is what he considers dirty. To me dirty is like with dirt and gross, yucky stuff. Clothes on the floor and a few cups on the coffee table is not dirty to me but its the end of the world to him! Can we say he's a bit OCD? He even admits to it.

My issue is I work 40 hours out of the home, cook all the meals, do all the "real on your hands and knees with cleaning supplies" cleaning, do 95% of the child care and he still expects me to tidy up all the time. DD goes to bed around 8 and we got to bed around 10. I'll be darned if I'm going to spend most of that time cleaning. I refuse.

My new line is "if it's bothering you then let it bother you enough to fix it yourself."
post #28 of 32
Wow. If my DH ever said a critical word about my housekeeping, I'd tell him he was welcome to clean it himself. I think he knows better, though.

On one occasion only did he dare suggest that because I'm home with DD, that it therefore follows that I should be doing all the housekeeping. DD was 7 or 8 months old at the time. His exact words were, "don't you do ANYTHING during the day?"

I stopped doing anything but take care of DD and feed myself, for four days, just to show him how much I really DO do. That took care of that.
post #29 of 32
I'm the Queen of Procrastination. Believe it or not, I have found a solution with FlyLady. The website has given me incentive and a big push. It's actually fun to read the little reminders you get in your email (and if they get to be too repetitious, or too much, just delete them!)

http://www.flylady.net/
post #30 of 32
Dh used to complain occasionally until he started working from home.
Now he is a WAHD and I work outside the home
He says he understands now
I say you take a vaction for a day or two and leave him to run things...See how sympathetic he becomes
post #31 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by geek_the_girl
I say you take a vaction for a day or two and leave him to run things...See how sympathetic he becomes
Yeah, if your kids weren't so young, I'd leave for the day and see how clean the house was when I came back. Of course, that doesn't make for happy kids which is the number one priority. Ds was so high needs that I thought I was doing well if I did one thing a day in addition to taking care of him. That one thing may have been taking a shower or making dinner.
post #32 of 32
You know what I did? DH used to go through more jobs then underwear (his own fault, not the job market at the time) and during my last pregnancy, I was freaking out we'd have no money for diapers, etc, so I bet him I could get a job in a day. And I did. He stayed home with the kids for 2 weeks while I worked, then a great job offer came up for him and I quit, (I had never planned on continuing to work) during those 2 weeks, I still had to come home and clean and cook because he sat and played on the computer all day. So he has no say as to how I keep the house. I do keep a clean house but there are times the kitchen doesn't get cleaned up for a day or 2 cause I'm feeling so rotten and he knows if he says a word, I'll tell him if he can do it better, he can stay home and I'll work :
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