Anyone have a friend

[Emilie]

Anyone have a friend who you think is making really bad money decisions?
I do... and I feel so bad for her! she thinks she needs this super nice new house and it is making me so crazy!
I know it does not affect me- but it almost offends me. We live in a 1950's house with blue original countertops- NO I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR NEED TO BUY A BRAND NEW HOUSE when you could not really afford the LAST brand new house you had!
I love her so much! I just do NOT understand her need for a brand new really expensive house.... and then for her to have to complain that they have no money.
I know it is not my business but it kills me for people to act that awy.....
Help! How do I deal without saying somehting rude to her?

[sweetfeet]

My parents. They make the worst decisions money-wise that I've ever seen. It's really sad that they earn 3x what we do and we're the ones with money in the bank and a dependent child. Anyhow I know how its frustrating and even though it doesn't affect you that you still want to shake some sense into her. I've been there. Some people need to look to material goods to give them a sense of fulfillment or they get caught up in keeping up with their friends.

[Emilie]

yes and she asks me- why does it seem like you guys have more money that we do- ummm.... our house payment is MUCH less than yours.
I just feel so bad. At their old house she was worried about having gas money to drive to our midwives house 1x a month an hour 1/2 away...
So when he took another job- I thought well maybe good they can make a bit more get in a more reasonable house and she will stop using the credit cards...
No luck. today she told me that they want to be in something better than their last house( which was brand new house) groan.
I asked if they had sat down together and budgeted their money- and she said yes- but they keep upping their price range for a house- not lowering their expectations. I fear they are going to end up even worse off.

[EFmom]

My sister. She is constantly looking for ways to squander money. Now, her dh makes way more than we do, but I think they live above their means. She has an enormous house (4 bathrooms, 5 bedrooms and a walk-in pantry bigger than my kitchen). Plus, she is super competitive. My house could use some work, and we are fixing it up bit by bit as we can afford it. When she comes to visit, all she talks about is how she could never live without (granite countertops, a finished basement, a Jenn-Aire stove, stainless steel appliances, a whirlpool bath, you pick).

I just bite my tongue till it bleeds.

[Emilie]

EWWW. I think i would lose it then- but yes- like she says things about her need for a bigger house- umm... sorry I am counting my blessings for what I got baby.
LOVE YOUR SIG... efmom. Me to.

[sarah_bella1050]

I feel this way about a lot of people, and I've been thinking that maybe it is just my problem. I'm constantly wanting to analize peoples budget to show them where all their hard earned money is going and home they can save a lot of it. It drives me insane to see people complaining about money while smoking a cigarette or eating fast food. Or driving around in their brand new car and talking about how they can't make thier rent payment. When I ask most of these people about thier budget, they say that they don't really have one! How can you live without a budget? How rich are you to think that you can just spend freely and not have to worry about how your family is going to eat or pay the electric bill?! This is all not my problem though, I just try to live by example. I know that I am not perfect though and I wouldn't want anybody looking over my shoulder and judging my expendatures.

When they ask me how I handle living without I tell them something like that thier are a lot of things better then money and that I am surrounded by them, and that they are not worth me leaving my dd for a good portion of her little life. If they ask me for help, I am willing to give it without judgement or critizing(most of the time, I'm really trying ), but I do give my honest opinion without sugar coating it. I will however freely tell them how much money certain things I do is, or how much debt we have paid off. I'm also not ashamed to tell anyone about how much money we make if they are questioning how to make it as a stay at home mom on thier dh's salary (which is usually more then ours), I will usually offer to give share my frugal tips and help in anyway if they would like.

I think it's mostly just the fact that I want to help them, not critize them. I just feel so bad for them when they are sinking into a pit of debt. I have made a lot of mistakes! And I just wish that I could use them to help the people that I care about.

[Emilie]

That is how I feel- I want to help and hse has asked and Have discussed our stuff with her- but she just wants that brand new big house....
then she does things like when I say- well you have more than lots of other people she tells me no we dont and we are poor.
She really thinks they are. She tried to get on medicate-.....

[sarah_bella1050]

You should look up some of the worlds poverty statistics. Most of the world does not even have a roof over thier head. Thier are millions of orphans(seriously millions) in Africa roaming the streets with no home or parents. That's poor.

[Free Thinker]

My sister is, and I don't know what to say to her about it. SHe is putting lots of $$ onto CCs (including a 1.75K diamond wedding ring!), living expenses, andything she wants or thinks is cute. What is bad is that she is really generous,a nd always gives the girls stuff I know she doesn't have the extra money for (and also things we don't always aprove of).

[MonkeyBoys Mom]

thats soo sad. I hate that people think they can't live with what they have

[Petersmamma]

Most of my friends complain about not having any money, and eat out AT LEAST 7 times a week (b/c EVERY lunch os at a restuarant, and many dinenrs too) and drive WAY nicer cars than we do. We are just barely squeaking by, but I remind myself (after thinking of the rest of the world and the REAL costs of poverty like one pp said) that at least I am not living with my in laws (to me, that would be the worst) and I own my own home. So, yeah...just bite your tongue till it bleeds!