Hi there mamas,
My almost-4-yo DD1 has been in underpants, and more dry than wet, for over a year. In the middle of all that, DD2 arrived, and we expected some regression, which did happen. I just did a lot of laundry and waited for it to pass. Since then, we've had easier and harder periods of potty attendance, but mostly, we have a few accidents a week. I can live with that. I don't want to put her in diapers or pullups during the day, though I don't care how long she wears a pullup at night. I don't want to push her or shame her or punish her...but I do very much want to stop dealing with it myself...
Here's the thing: she almost never wants to go to the potty. Sometimes she goes by herself, but lately, she doesn't. I see her doing the "pee pee dance" on her toes and say, "Hey, DD1, it looks like you need to use the potty." The reaction is almost always a high pitched whine or cry of "Noooooooooooooo, I don't haaaaaaaaaaaaaave to go." Then:
1. If I insist, she will eventually pee in the potty, but not until after a mini whining fit, including lying down on the floor of the bathroom squealing. She's not crying -- it's kind of a pretend cry -- but she just does not want to go.
OR
2. I say, "ok, you listen to your body, and go when it tells you that you need to go." If I say this, she is usually wet within a few minutes. Then, if I say, "DD1, are your underpants wet?," she has started to lie about it. I can usually SEE that they are wet, and she'll still say, "no." We've talked about how it's ok to make mistakes and pee in your underpants, but it is never ok to lie. She still lies.
DD1 is, in every other respect, one of the easiest kids I've ever met. She is sweet and agreeable and, though she has opinions, is usually open to almost anything. I realize this is a way of asserting her control over the world, but I wish she could pick something else. I give her lots of choices in her life. I asked her today why going to the potty is so hard for her, and why she fights about it so much, and she said, "Going to the potty makes me sad."
What to do?
TIA!!!
My almost-4-yo DD1 has been in underpants, and more dry than wet, for over a year. In the middle of all that, DD2 arrived, and we expected some regression, which did happen. I just did a lot of laundry and waited for it to pass. Since then, we've had easier and harder periods of potty attendance, but mostly, we have a few accidents a week. I can live with that. I don't want to put her in diapers or pullups during the day, though I don't care how long she wears a pullup at night. I don't want to push her or shame her or punish her...but I do very much want to stop dealing with it myself...
Here's the thing: she almost never wants to go to the potty. Sometimes she goes by herself, but lately, she doesn't. I see her doing the "pee pee dance" on her toes and say, "Hey, DD1, it looks like you need to use the potty." The reaction is almost always a high pitched whine or cry of "Noooooooooooooo, I don't haaaaaaaaaaaaaave to go." Then:
1. If I insist, she will eventually pee in the potty, but not until after a mini whining fit, including lying down on the floor of the bathroom squealing. She's not crying -- it's kind of a pretend cry -- but she just does not want to go.
OR
2. I say, "ok, you listen to your body, and go when it tells you that you need to go." If I say this, she is usually wet within a few minutes. Then, if I say, "DD1, are your underpants wet?," she has started to lie about it. I can usually SEE that they are wet, and she'll still say, "no." We've talked about how it's ok to make mistakes and pee in your underpants, but it is never ok to lie. She still lies.
DD1 is, in every other respect, one of the easiest kids I've ever met. She is sweet and agreeable and, though she has opinions, is usually open to almost anything. I realize this is a way of asserting her control over the world, but I wish she could pick something else. I give her lots of choices in her life. I asked her today why going to the potty is so hard for her, and why she fights about it so much, and she said, "Going to the potty makes me sad."
What to do?
TIA!!!
). Sometimes, if I notice he has to go I say something like "If you need to go pee, I'll wait here and I won't start the muffins until you get back". For my ds I think a lot of it is he doesn't want to miss out on anything. Sometimes he'll run off and go pee, other times he'll say he doesn't need to go. He also says that he doesn't like to go pee (no reason given). He also only likes to go poop in the afternoons and gets upset if he has to go in the morning 
