Hi! This is my first time posting in this forum but I'm not new to MDC. I have a 6.5y/o ds and am in need of some suggestions for dealing with some defiant/disrespectful behavior. My dh is in Iraq so I am dealing with this behavior by myself now and really need to nip it early.
Ds is refusing to do homework. I found out from his teacher that he has started refusing to do his school work, as well, since we are moving this summer and he won't be at the same school next year. We have lots going on in our lives now but I don't want him thinking that because dad is deployed, our impending move, a new baby on the way that he can use these for an excuse to not do things when asked.
I have taken away priviledges(Saturday morning tv time, playground time, outdoor play, computer), placed him in timeout, explained why this behavior isn't acceptable, used positive reinforcement and given him extra TLC but he just doesn't care. His behavior seems so irradic at times that it just doesn't make sense.
Our latest incident occured this morning....we made & ate our breakfast together while dd slept in and he had a chapter to read in his school book. He was too tired to do it last night so he asked me if he could read to me in the morning. We cleared away our breakfast dishes and moved to the sofa to read. He started to read chapter 3 but I reminded him that he needed to read 2 to me first. He was mad because he told me he read 2 already but I never signed his homework page so he needed to read it again. I gave him 20 minutes to read his chapter(which he could have read in 5 minutes) before he needed to get dressed and ready for school. He flat out refused to read, wasted 20 minutes of his morning and I took away his play priviledges for after school. I never enforced an immediate consequence(which now I'm thinking was a huge mistake) but he knows he won't get to play after school.
I hate that we're going through this because I know he works hard at school and "needs" the down time but I have to find something that is going to work. Right now, it doesn't matter to him that he lost his free time but I'm certain that once he comes home from school the cycle will start over again. It has been suggested that I spank him but I was never spanked as a child and don't feel this is an effective discipline tool for my family.
How would you handle this situation if it was your child? I'm in need of some serious suggestions and need to get a plan in place before things get out of hand.
TIA,
Ds is refusing to do homework. I found out from his teacher that he has started refusing to do his school work, as well, since we are moving this summer and he won't be at the same school next year. We have lots going on in our lives now but I don't want him thinking that because dad is deployed, our impending move, a new baby on the way that he can use these for an excuse to not do things when asked.
I have taken away priviledges(Saturday morning tv time, playground time, outdoor play, computer), placed him in timeout, explained why this behavior isn't acceptable, used positive reinforcement and given him extra TLC but he just doesn't care. His behavior seems so irradic at times that it just doesn't make sense.
Our latest incident occured this morning....we made & ate our breakfast together while dd slept in and he had a chapter to read in his school book. He was too tired to do it last night so he asked me if he could read to me in the morning. We cleared away our breakfast dishes and moved to the sofa to read. He started to read chapter 3 but I reminded him that he needed to read 2 to me first. He was mad because he told me he read 2 already but I never signed his homework page so he needed to read it again. I gave him 20 minutes to read his chapter(which he could have read in 5 minutes) before he needed to get dressed and ready for school. He flat out refused to read, wasted 20 minutes of his morning and I took away his play priviledges for after school. I never enforced an immediate consequence(which now I'm thinking was a huge mistake) but he knows he won't get to play after school.
I hate that we're going through this because I know he works hard at school and "needs" the down time but I have to find something that is going to work. Right now, it doesn't matter to him that he lost his free time but I'm certain that once he comes home from school the cycle will start over again. It has been suggested that I spank him but I was never spanked as a child and don't feel this is an effective discipline tool for my family.
How would you handle this situation if it was your child? I'm in need of some serious suggestions and need to get a plan in place before things get out of hand.
TIA,
