i lost it today... feel like poo

[amygoforth]

I feel worse than poo, actually. I feel like what poo feels like when poo feels like poo.

So how do you do it, mamas with more than one dc? How do you keep from getting to the end of your rope -- and NOT use it to strangle your dc???

This morning I was trying to get everything set to leave--drop the kids at day care, then get to work myself. All was good until I sat down to nurse Drew one last time before leaving. Evan decides it's time to play with his mini Louisville Slugger -- which of course means he wants to hit stuff with it. I calmly and repeatedly tell him the bat is only for hitting balls outside, not toys inside (why the bat was in the house in the first place, I have no clue. it's going to find a new hiding place in the garage.). I ask him to please sit down and hold the bat still until I can help him play with it. Finally he comes too close to hitting Drew in the head, and mama bear goes ape-shirt. In a moment of stellar parenting, I yank the bat out of his hand and fling it into the next room.

It was one big battle from there, and it ended with me practically throwing Evan into the car. I caught myself wiping his tears a little too hard (a moment I keep reliving in my head over and over today). We don't hit or spank on my house, so this was out of pure frustration and, I guess... anger.

How can I be so angry with a person not even 3 years old? I'm the adult. I'm the mommy, for crying out loud. Why couldn't I just take a breath and focus and handle it one second at a time?

I can't wait to leave work, pick them up and go to the park and have fun. It's a beautiful day here...

[mkoontz]

Yes, you are the adult, but you're also a human who naturally gets frustrated and angry.

so you threw the bat, well you didn't throw the child (and as amusing as that may be, some parents do), you didn't hit him or in fact hurt him in any way. And you were reacting to something that could have really really hurt your other child.

And as you're sitting there obsessing about it (I'm just guessing on that one cause I know it's what I would be doing) remember that Evan probably is playing happily on some piece of day care equiptment with not a care in the world.

Yes, there are always ways you could have dealt with it better - there will always be those, but cut yourself some slack, you sound like an amazing mom to me. Not only are you bring up two children, but you're working too.

Hang in there, have some fun this afternoon.

[xmasbaby7]

[Turtlemum]

Megan, you said that so well!!!!!

And do you know what else makes you a great mom Amy? You are "sharing the fret" and looking for support...you have some really luck kids!!!!!!

kelli

[Panthira]

Wow, you work too?
It's difficult working and having that schedule to follow, and needing things to go smoothly. I think in that respect it's much more difficult than being a SAHM, with a fairly open schedule.

When I was a single mama with 2 kids, and I was working, sometimes I would lose it too. I never hit them, but I did stuff similar to what you did. I know that feeling and how badly you must feel.
I felt this pressure. And sometimes I would just snap.
My oldest remembers me pulling the head off her doll and throwing it down the stairs because she was playing with my stuff and frequently breaking my things, and I lost it that time and asked her how she liked her stuff played with and broken. Her doll layed decapitated at the bottom of the stairs. She was much older than your boy.
Unfortunately, my older kids know I have an scorching, awful temper, but I'm hoping that my younger ones don't feel that rage from me...

I'm sorry it was a hard morning for you, mama.

[judybean]

nak

i don't work outside of the home, we don't have to follow a rigorous schedule.... and i've lost it more than once and have been totally ashamed of myself. hugs to you, mama.

[IncaMama]

nak
oh jeez...that's nothin', mama. LOL i had to laugh at the poo and rope funnies. i agree w pp's...he probably has no care in the world right now. and you're obsessing about how you wiped his tears. but you wiped them. and you're a great mommy.

[oliversmum2000]

Originally Posted by michelemiller

you're obsessing about how you wiped his tears. but you wiped them. and you're a great mommy.

:

[amygoforth]

Thanks so much for your support, mamas. I'm feeling much better about it now. Evan and I have had some good cuddle and chat time since then, and I think he still loves me.

[mariposita]

glad things are better, mama.