ds 5 is going to graduate from his mother's day out twice a week thing in a couple of weeks. baby (3) will still be going, so it will really be the 1st one-on-one time for us to homeschool (unschool, whatever, i'm pretty eclectic.) i'm looking forward to it, but there is our next-door neighbor, an older kid with NO boundaries- anytime i'm doing anything with the kids, whether we are all watching a movie, reading a book, working in the garden, building a fence, painting- WHATEVER- there will be 'knock knock knock. ring ring ring. can they play? can they play now? how 'bout now?'
the idea of trying to physically sit down and have teachable moments with ds is starting to make me twitch. if we can't even eat a meal or watch discovery channel in peace, teaching algebra concepts to a 5 yr old is going to be rough going. (no, we are not going to be on some anally fixated schedule, i am an unschooler at heart, but even unschoolers need to CONCENTRATE sometimes.)
we've unwired the doorbell (things started smoking so we put it back
) yesterday i had to close the windows (on a nice day! i hate that!) because she kept hovering under the windows and yelling at us. she is EIGHT, old enough to know better! she doesn't listen when i am borderline rude, let alone gentle & persuasive! and no, i am too big of a wuss to talk to her parents, they know she is a pest & are apologizing for her already, i get along with them & don't want to insert a bad vibe where there isn't one- getting irritated by their kid is bad enough without making enemies of them.
argh! weekends are unbearable- if i am not out there with them, them playing with her is not doable, they say they will play inside or in the back & next i look, my three yr old is out playing near the street (obviously her parents have different safety standards then i do- how do i screech nicely that i don't let my 3 yr old wander the neighborhood, like they did?) if i can go out there i do, but much of the time i can't go out just to watch them, i do have stuff to accomplish with and without the kids that is not in the front yard.
(and backyard is no good, she gets in our shed & messes with animal feed, cages, tools etc. don't even ask about inside. we tried that, once. good gawd. let's just say she tears things up more than 5 yr old and 3 yr old boys combined, and never heard of indoor boundaries either. i'd just as soon not have to worry about her looking for my vibrator under my bed. she buried her mother's good jewelry in the yard once- at EIGHT- i don't want a treasure hunt in my sandbox.)
do i just declare weekends & summers a loss? if just saying 'i'm sorry, we are studying' would work, she wouldn't be back literally every five minutes as it is. how do you guys handle omnipresent & pushy neighbor kids that don't take no for an answer & interrupt constantly? a bullhorn? am i the only person this cranky when pushy people hound her? i am weary thinking about it.
(and no, she doesn't have any special needs, except that she wants what she wants when she wants it, and if you explain nicely, 'no, we cannot do that because a), b), & c)', she will just ask again. 'pleaaaaaase?' and again ad infinitum. EIGHT YEARS OLD.)
the idea of trying to physically sit down and have teachable moments with ds is starting to make me twitch. if we can't even eat a meal or watch discovery channel in peace, teaching algebra concepts to a 5 yr old is going to be rough going. (no, we are not going to be on some anally fixated schedule, i am an unschooler at heart, but even unschoolers need to CONCENTRATE sometimes.)
we've unwired the doorbell (things started smoking so we put it back
) yesterday i had to close the windows (on a nice day! i hate that!) because she kept hovering under the windows and yelling at us. she is EIGHT, old enough to know better! she doesn't listen when i am borderline rude, let alone gentle & persuasive! and no, i am too big of a wuss to talk to her parents, they know she is a pest & are apologizing for her already, i get along with them & don't want to insert a bad vibe where there isn't one- getting irritated by their kid is bad enough without making enemies of them.argh! weekends are unbearable- if i am not out there with them, them playing with her is not doable, they say they will play inside or in the back & next i look, my three yr old is out playing near the street (obviously her parents have different safety standards then i do- how do i screech nicely that i don't let my 3 yr old wander the neighborhood, like they did?) if i can go out there i do, but much of the time i can't go out just to watch them, i do have stuff to accomplish with and without the kids that is not in the front yard.
(and backyard is no good, she gets in our shed & messes with animal feed, cages, tools etc. don't even ask about inside. we tried that, once. good gawd. let's just say she tears things up more than 5 yr old and 3 yr old boys combined, and never heard of indoor boundaries either. i'd just as soon not have to worry about her looking for my vibrator under my bed. she buried her mother's good jewelry in the yard once- at EIGHT- i don't want a treasure hunt in my sandbox.)
do i just declare weekends & summers a loss? if just saying 'i'm sorry, we are studying' would work, she wouldn't be back literally every five minutes as it is. how do you guys handle omnipresent & pushy neighbor kids that don't take no for an answer & interrupt constantly? a bullhorn? am i the only person this cranky when pushy people hound her? i am weary thinking about it.
(and no, she doesn't have any special needs, except that she wants what she wants when she wants it, and if you explain nicely, 'no, we cannot do that because a), b), & c)', she will just ask again. 'pleaaaaaase?' and again ad infinitum. EIGHT YEARS OLD.)
Thanks for the tip!
:
interrupt the queen with her subjects? if we are all in the yard together, and i request, 'please play on the other side of the yard away from these tools' (i was putting up a fence), if she decides that where i am working is the place they will play, i am to be ignored. and mine are in her thrall, they ignore me & do what she says. now that i mention it, that REALLY bugs me. if i tell her to go home, we're done, i can make mine go in the house (sadly looking behind them- and that's if i've been out watching them for 3 hours, if it is dark & there are mosquitoes & it's dinnertime, i'm still 'mean mom' for stopping the playtime) but she won't leave my freaking yard.
: I'de be getting mean. As soon as she disobeys, yes even after 2 minutes, I'de send her home. 'Thats not alowed at our house. You will have to go home now, you can come back tomorow/ Friday/ next year? 
, but i had the satisfaction of being very abrupt & not feeling a speck of guilt.) my dh was astonished any child could be that oblivious.
. I've seen a lot of kids grow up, and it's amazing how so many of those quirks/kinks just grow right out. I've been through some similar things that I used to agonize over - they were huge mountains that turned out to be mole hills in 20/20 hindsight, and the kids turned out to be wonderful and precious friends. She could very well grow into a lovely older child, teen, and young woman. Time ~flies~ and this can happen a lot quicker than you might imagine.
: I've just had a lot of experiences that have added to my databank. I even had some neighbors turn on us over our finally getting mad at them about their HUGE stupid young dog squeezing between the boards in our fence to get in and repeatedly beat up our old dog. He wasn't "trying to hurt him - just playing." Well, the result was the same! But we could have avoided a lot of aggravation if we'd managed to keep our cool and remain diplomatic for just a little longer. - Lillian
(i'm not putting final punctuation on the thread, feel free to continue, anyone having the same or similar issues. i always like derailed threads anyway- just 'cause i started it doesn't mean i own it. 
- Lillian
