Need HEALING from Failed VBAC! - Page 2

[rainbowmoon]

oh and one more thing, I want to say congrats on your AA meetings
(I felt that deserved a post of it's own )

[misseks]

I am so sorry you feel this badly. It is not your fault. You do not deserve it.

I am sending my hugs and kisses and prayers for feeling to all women with disappointing traumatic birth experiences. And empathy prayers to their families...just yesterday my BIL said to me, "You know, in Mexico all the women love c-sections. Why deal with all that pain?" Duh. Bone-head.

Try to keep your chin up when you are feeling good, and know that no one here judges you as harshly as you judge yourself.

K

[KKmama]

Sending lots of s to the OP and everyone else on this thread who has experienced a C. Nobody knows the disappointment of a C like a woman who has experienced one (and tried unsuccessfully to avoid one). I think talking with other women who have experienced cesareans is the best way to find people who really understand...

Birthing is a very, very vulnerable time, even in the best of circumstances (IMO). Violations which happen during labor or around birthing cut pretty deeply.

[Isamama]

I am so sorry. It all sounds so painful. I am sending you hugs and blessings. I have one child (born via cesarian after long labor), so I can't empathize with "failed" VBAC attempt, but I understand the pain and disappointment that comes with a birth not going as planned. It just really sucks. By the way, in no way can you be considered a failure--Bravo for your Bravery!!

[MommyDOK]

Rachel,
You are not a failure! You carried a baby to term and you did everything you could to have a successful vbac. That's an accomplishment in itself! It's good you are sober now and back on track w/ AA. For me, I did a lot of therapy work while I was pregnant bc I was terrified that I'd be mad at my baby if I didn't vbac. My counselor really helped me work through the "uncontrollableness" of birth and life. That's what I was facing. Even though I went to a man (his 4 children were born at home so he "got" why I wanted a vbac) he really helped me work through all these issues.
When I first read your post I thought, "Even Dr. Bradley had a 3% c/s rate! And I've heard of the best of midwives having a c/s now and then. You've got some good company."

Please postpone the decision of whether or not you want more children. That's what makes me the most sad about c/s----we get robbed of a proper birth and it makes many of us not want more babies bc of it.

I think someone from the ICAN list started a cbac list to comfort moms in a similar situation. Have you found that?
You know KMom's pages? She was a vba2c http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/f...%20and%20VBACs It's not about plus-size pregnancy.....she has oodles of info on vbac and vba2c!

[mandib50]

i just wanted to give you a big hug and encourage you to find the support you need. oh you are so not a failure ... keep looking until you find the right therapist! healing is entirely possible for you