I wanted to say something about starting EC with older kids (toddlers or older babies). I am not the authority on EC or anything, so this is just my opinion on what I have learned from listenting to other EC moms, reading articles, one book, etc. I also don’t want to discourage anyone, but did want to point something out.
Elimination communication is meant to be *started* on babies. Young, pre-mobile, in arms babies. You often hear the ideal window of 0-4 months for this reason. Lots of people start older (like us!) but it’s going to be easiest the earlier you start. This doesn't mean it's impossible with an older baby! But IMO, it does mean you need to be realistic about the problems and your expectations when starting older.
One reason is because the older the child becomes, the more used to diapers they become. After awhile, a diaper becomes normal to them. Now the baby has become used to going in his diaper and has to unlearn this. That’s not nearly as easy as simply not getting used to going in a diaper in the first place! Also, because their potty signals were not responded to, many babies stop signaling that they need to go. A mom who starts with a newborn has a baby who is still signaling and just needs to learn those signals. A mom starting with an older baby may very well have a baby who no longer signals (tho I’ve noticed most kids signal poops just cuz of the effort involved).
Another reason it’s harder on an older child is because they are mobile. Carrying a content, in-arms baby to the potty is one thing. Picking up a toddler who is engrossed in his own business is quite another. A lot of ECers seem to find that their kids go on temporary strikes when they become toddlers and don’t want to be bothered going potty. Most of them outgrow the strike, but imagine how much harder it would be to *start* EC at this point.
I’m mentioning this because after all the discussions recently I’ve noticed a lot of threads from moms who want to start EC on their older kids. I just don’t want people trying to start EC on an older baby or toddler, having an awful time and an upset child and then getting the wrong idea about how EC works. I want to give the advice to be very clear with yourself about your expectations when you start. Please don’t expect it to work as well as it would have with a tiny baby (and if it does you’ll be pleasantly surprised!). Be easy on yourselves and easy on your kids! You don’t want to cross the line into early conventional potty training. Remember that EC is not about pressure or forcing kids to go to the potty. You can practice EC on older kids by just telling them “you’re peeing” and offering the potty, but you might not be successful in getting them to use it.
Good luck to everyone in whatever you do!
Elimination communication is meant to be *started* on babies. Young, pre-mobile, in arms babies. You often hear the ideal window of 0-4 months for this reason. Lots of people start older (like us!) but it’s going to be easiest the earlier you start. This doesn't mean it's impossible with an older baby! But IMO, it does mean you need to be realistic about the problems and your expectations when starting older.
One reason is because the older the child becomes, the more used to diapers they become. After awhile, a diaper becomes normal to them. Now the baby has become used to going in his diaper and has to unlearn this. That’s not nearly as easy as simply not getting used to going in a diaper in the first place! Also, because their potty signals were not responded to, many babies stop signaling that they need to go. A mom who starts with a newborn has a baby who is still signaling and just needs to learn those signals. A mom starting with an older baby may very well have a baby who no longer signals (tho I’ve noticed most kids signal poops just cuz of the effort involved).
Another reason it’s harder on an older child is because they are mobile. Carrying a content, in-arms baby to the potty is one thing. Picking up a toddler who is engrossed in his own business is quite another. A lot of ECers seem to find that their kids go on temporary strikes when they become toddlers and don’t want to be bothered going potty. Most of them outgrow the strike, but imagine how much harder it would be to *start* EC at this point.
I’m mentioning this because after all the discussions recently I’ve noticed a lot of threads from moms who want to start EC on their older kids. I just don’t want people trying to start EC on an older baby or toddler, having an awful time and an upset child and then getting the wrong idea about how EC works. I want to give the advice to be very clear with yourself about your expectations when you start. Please don’t expect it to work as well as it would have with a tiny baby (and if it does you’ll be pleasantly surprised!). Be easy on yourselves and easy on your kids! You don’t want to cross the line into early conventional potty training. Remember that EC is not about pressure or forcing kids to go to the potty. You can practice EC on older kids by just telling them “you’re peeing” and offering the potty, but you might not be successful in getting them to use it.
Good luck to everyone in whatever you do!
: I'm finding myself a little defensive and I'm not sure if that's warranted. I'm sorry if anyone is offended by what I wrote. I still think mothers of older kids should read up on EC and understand what it is and what it is not before trying it on their toddlers. Reading a few posts on a board and deciding to "potty train" an older child with EC is bound to cause frustration and confusion and I thought I'd write this to help some moms avoid that.
