I'm so tired right now. The kids are crawling up my butt and I'm so exhausted. it's always my oldest who's a total plague; she has tantrums like a 2-yr-old every day. Right now she's storming about a missing toy piece, and shouting and screaming. The 3-yr-old just feels lost, the 5-yr-old is always mischievous and the baby wants to nurse non-stop. DH came home from a trip last night and left again this morning out of town again (this tiime not far). He's been home about 3 weeks total since like Christmas. (Well, maybe more than that.) The kids are psycho and don't know whether they have one parent or two.
This morning I got up super early to work on my son's quilt and, oops, screwed up a huge portion before realizing it, and now I have to do it over. His birthday is Saturday and how in the world can I finish it, god only knows. I have to do 2/3 of the top over, ugh. It was SO hard the first time!!
I think I've decided what to do about piano lessons. Since it's a financial, time and logistical nightmare to get them to their lessons AND have them practice every day, I'm gonna ... take them OUT of lessons and put MYSELF back into lessons!!
Which is exactly what I should have done in the first place. I miss piano so much, and have not played for three years. Every time I sit down to practice with them, I think, "Why am I doing this?? I do so much with/for them already, why more? This should be MY practice time!!" I need to listen to that voice inside myself and do something that makes ME happy and still fills the house with music. Of course I'm feeling so guilty because I believe everyone should have a musical education, but well, sometimes something has to give. We just can't do everything as parents. Helping FOUR kids to learn piano, homeschooling, swimming, teaching them how to sew....and then the ordinary household, etc stuff. It's just too too much.
My oldest kid is standing here literally screaming in my ear. it SUCKS. I want to clobber her.
Speaking of weather, it is so gorgeous here today and there is a nice breeze. After we have lunch, I'm gonna take the kids to the beach for a while. Bag swimming and all the rest. I need some sea breezes to regain my sanity. The last 24 hours have been a total and unmitigated nightmare. Single parenting is hell, total hell. God the kids never stop fighting. if DH doesn't stop travelling so much I'm going to lose my mind.
Like you said Allgirls, it's sink or swim. Time to start cutting some corners around here and doing things an easier way. Have a good hump day everyone! I have a Russian friend who had never heard "hump day" and she was SO confused by it, you can imagine!
I'm gonna go put in earplugs now. This tantrum business is making my ears ring. I can't take it anymore.