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Yay! It's May for the 3 year old tribe! - Page 2

post #21 of 156
Actually I didn't teach my DS or DD... They just started doing it themselves, and I'd "check" after them and they seemed to have "gotten everything". So they kind of taught themselves, which was nice. After they go to the bathroom I go through the usual questions: "Did you wipe? Did you flush? Did you wash your hands? Did you turn off the light?"
post #22 of 156
subbing too...

So the dog is still around. As long as she's wagging her tail, I don't think MIL is going to let her go.

Leah, since you now have another foster child, does that mean you can't have another birth child? Is that something you've thought about any more?

I'm back home and really hoping that will help Razi calm down a bit. He was a serious maniac while we were gone. He learned so many things I wasn't ready to have him know about. (gotta love cousins) Now he's all about playing "bad scary" this or that. guns, gender stuff (my nephew was making fun of him for wearing a hello kitty ring) He also thru the hugest tantrum in the very looong security line in the airport. He was screaming at me "I'M GONNA SPANK YOU!" over and over. I don't spank him so I don't know where he got that but it was rather embarracing (although I imagine most of the people around me were wondering why I didn''t do it then, lol. I actually started crying cuz I didn't know what to do. Ya, I think we'll pass on air travel for awhile, .

post #23 of 156
Originally Posted by abranger
I LOVE TIVO. I actually watch much less tv since I've had it. I never watch commercials so I don't ever know about new shows.
The funny thing about tivo and GA is that she doesn't understand when we are somewhere else (the beach house for example) that when she wants to watch a particular show it might not be on.
This is true for us too - I watch less TV because of it. I find things that I would probably have watched if I had flipped to it channel surfing, when I record them I'm less likely to watch - I don't pick up new shows unless I really make an effort to figure out what I want to watch and I love not feeling the pressure to watch the show right now or today or this week, etc if I don't want to, and since there is no pressure to watch right now, I'll go weeks nad then lose interest in a show too.

Also the same with DD - she is used to my being able to turn on her favorite show at any moment (when I agree to do it), so she doesn't understand that every TV doesn't turn Dora on! It's good for her in the sense that we've kept hte number of shows she has ever seen very small (since she doesn't watch a show on live TV and end up watching the one after it) but at the same time, its possible to watch the same show over and over.

We just moved from my parents house where we were temporarily living during our cross-country move extravaganza and so we haven't had her watch any TV at the new house and I am going to try to keep it that way.
post #24 of 156
Oh, I'm so sorry, Sarita!!! I'm sure that whole airport scene was especially tough for you with your fragile pregnant body (and all the hormones)! s, babe...

Zachary threw a tantrum the other night at a restaurant. I knew he wasn't feeling well (he had a cold), so it was kind of my fault, but I thought that sitting outside by the fountain would distract him enough... But he made us specially order a quesadilla on a blue (corn) tortilla, which he then refused to eat. He was loud and generally rude the whole time. He even broke a plate, and I could tell that he had dropped it completely on purpose! By this time Julianna had joined in. Instead of killing them I took them out to the car and we waited for Crystal and DH to finish up. I was so embarrassed taking these two screaming little demons out to the car, I'm sure everyone thought they deserved a good spanking!

As for having another baby... I'd really love to. But I know that realistically right now there is no way I could maintain this household AND be on bed rest (or even just "take it easy") to avoid constant contractions. There is just no way that DH could take on any more responsibility. And since he barely does anything around the house right now, that could be a problem! When I was pregnant with Zachary I had contractions every 5-10 minutes from about 27 weeks until 36 weeks when Zach was born. Right around 32 weeks I couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom without having back-to-back contractions, and I thought I couldn't even push at all because it felt like he would fall right out! So, at this extremely busy time in my life with so many kids who need my attention, it's just not feasible for me to be pregnant again right now. I'm hoping I can have just one more baby of my own *someday*! Because if I don't hold another newborn baby, fresh from my own body, I think I might die...
post #25 of 156
sarita: 's momma.. that sounds like a whole lot to deal with. its amazing how kids know when we are at our weakest. and test us to our limits.. it's those times when we learn as parents that we can deal with anything by taking a deep breath..even if it hurts we come out knowing more and loving them more than we did before. or we end up losing it but picking up the pieces and carying on anyways.. ive done both.

leah, i really hope that you get to have another baby one day. you really really deserve to have that baby! you are such an amazing momma and person. 's to you for dealing with screaming kiddos too.. its SO hard when you have 2 of them.. its like its 5 kids rather than two when they both start wailing. im scared to go out of the house without another adult sometimes because i feel like i just cant handle elwynn and his extreme 3 year old moods and ngaio the always hungry, needy baby in the big scary world..
post #26 of 156
Ah, all this talk about having another baby. It makes me so sad inside. I'm a single older (39) mom and I just don't think I'll be having another child. There's no man in sight and my finances are...well, non existant.
I just can't believe that I won't be giving my ds a sibling and/or that I won't have a daughter like I've always envisioned.
Great, now I'm all emotional.
post #27 of 156
Hi everybody! Can I join your club?
I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 20-month old...and kind of have the itch for another one. Dh is done though...he grew up as the youngest of 8 and never felt like he got enough of anything, whether it was food, attention, whatever. Part of me would love another baby and at the same time I feel like I might lose it if I do. Both of mine are very sensitive and demanding, and sometimes I wonder how I got through the last 2 years! some friends of mine have said that most women always have half a wish for another baby, no matter how many they've had! What do you think?
post #28 of 156
Hey everyone, I haven't read all the posts here, but I scanned and I have a few minutes, so i thought I'd try to catch ya'll up.

What's going on here... where to start? It's a really emotional time for us. Going through all of our things deciding what to take, what to sell, what to get rid of... We are having our final yard sale mother's day weekend. I'm selling my aquariums and the kids' swing set on craigslist right now. Started packing up what we are taking with us, which is only what we can fit in the truck. Dh is working like a mad man trying to make some cash so we can pay off our bills and save money for the trip. Our rent is past due because the people who were suppose to pay him for a job he did weeks ago haven't paid him yet. I'm having a lot of trouble wiht that because when he took the job, something just didn't feel right in me about it. I tried to tell him that they were going to take advantage of him, that I was afraid they weren't going to pay him, but what he heard was that I don't trust him. Which is so not true. I totally trust him, but I know that he is a nice guy and that others sometimes take advantage of that. So now, what I said seems to be true, he finished the work and they have been avoiding his calls, emails etc. They said they put a check in the mail for him last week, when he called today she said she would Western Union the money, but just now she emailed and said she put a check in the mail yesterday and would not WU the money because of the fees. Did i mention we need this money to pay our last months rent here, which is now over due because of this :censor ARGH!

I'm stressed and tired, and of course the kids are totally needy right now because I'm spread so thin. I'm lonely and isolated as we have one vehicle which dh needs for all the various odd jobs he's doing. I feel overwhelmed.

We are out of here at the end of May, but need to find a place to live for a few more weeks while dh works and we save that money. I have no clue where we will go. Dh has some good jobs lined up allready. We can't stay with my mom because of issues with my step dad. Our good friends are also moving that week. Our other good friends I've been too scared to ask because if they say no I have no idea what we will do.

So it's like Leah's siggy says, we have all this hell to go through now, but hopefully by mid to late June things will be a whole lot simpler. We will head out East to the IC I talked about earlier. I'm excited about the trip, although I know it will be a lot of work. (We plan to camp for most of it) I think it will be a time of healing for all of us, which after this year we really need. I think this has been one of the hardest years of my life. The fiasco with MIL after Aubrey's birth opened a lot of wounds I had worked so hard to close up. The stress and uncertainty that has plagued the last ten months have really aggravated my depression and anxiety issues. So this whole thing that I'm doing right now, it really feels like I'm purging all that is unnecessary in my life and getting down to the basics, getting back to my family.

Oh and yes M. watches teh Simpsons, but I fast forward through the Itchy and Scratchy stuff and I don't let her watch the Halloween Episodes. She had been pretty much tv free until recently, I need the tv right now though She really likes King of the Hill too, which I prefer since it's way less violent.

Sarita, I'm sorry about the airport thing. I think I would have cried too and I'm not pregnant. : and Fern, I totally know what you mean about not wanting to go out alone with your two littles, I feel exactly the same way sometimes.

Mariah has had some tantrums lately too, I think some of it is developmental as she has had some major leaps in language skills lately, and some of it is stress related.

Anyhow, gtg, much love and peace to you all mamas
post #29 of 156
i have some new pics of the babe.. www.picturetrail.com/babyngaio
post #30 of 156
beautiful pics Fern, and i love the longies.
post #31 of 156
She's a cutie!

Punk hope things start looking up. Shedding is always a great way to make a change in your life. That's so cool that you are moving to an intentional community! I have often thought about that.

Def stop by here if you travels take you this far north.

post #32 of 156
Just joining in for the first time........DS turned three last month. It's been a challenging month for us, but I hope things will even out lately. He's been picking up what we think of as yucky language from another kid at daycare, so we've been working on that a lot. And it takes a lot of work. Phew! (nothing that's really *BAD* in terms of language, btw). And, we've been in OT for a month for SID. But we see great changes!

Bottom line is that three so far seems more fun, more imaginative, even more amazing than what's come before!!!

Hoping to gain more wisdom from y'all....

Take care,
post #33 of 156
I'm sure many of you already went through this but today was the first day I took ds out without a diaper. Big boy underpants. I took him to his occupational therapy appt and then we went to Target. He wouldn't sit on the toilet in Target (the portable insert i have doesn't fit elongated toilets. grr) and he said he wanted to wear a diaper. I didn't push the issue. I was just glad he lasted as long as he did today...and without an accident! Yay!

One small step for man, one giant step for my kind boy.
post #34 of 156
post #35 of 156
my ds is a sponge for "smart-ass'isms". So, as long as you don't mind your 3'er throwing out the occasional "doy"!

Kind of on the same note- my ds watched Napolean Dynomite with my dh a few weeks ago and has been calling everyone an "idiot" since- oy! Plus, he's constantly telling me that "his lips hurt" in that annoying Napolean voice... it's shocking what a 3 year old will enjoy!
post #36 of 156
elwynn's new saying is "shut up!" he is getting very.....opinionated. to say it nicely. sometimes i forget that he is 3.. he is so well spoken and such a smart ass. but on the other hand he can be the sweetest kid in the universe.
post #37 of 156
its amazing how kids know when we are at our weakest. and test us to our limits.. it's those times when we learn as parents that we can deal with anything by taking a deep breath..even if it hurts we come out knowing more and loving them more than we did before. or we end up losing it but picking up the pieces and carying on anyways.. ive done both.
fern, i just loved reading this. to me this is also something i could not really understand until i had more than one child - the trial and exhaustion of second baby and so forth. and yes, marja, most moms i know have a desire for more, some more conscious than others. it's amazing how appealing tiny ones can be, like purposely created to seem like the yummiest desire on earth. i was looking at the mamatoto videos yesterday and just suddenly, wanting a little one after finally talking myself out of babyfever for the past six months. i have started to give up on my hope for more.....it's not a fertility problem and i love being pg. but it's too wacky with money and the iud i happen to have.

punk, your post.....i'm so glad you wrote it, and i can't describe how much i feel for you....things are so tender and tough for you right now. please take care of yourself as much as you can i hope you can catch some sleep and give your thoughts a break. you are a wonderful person and things will get better and easier.....i wish i knew how to spell you out of what you are feeling - it is a mystery to me how i get out of it, like i will know i need to quit fretting and accept circumstances that i cannot change, but my body is too wound up from performing while exhausted to know how to relax and use my energy wisely. moneysickness has been a huge drag for me too lately, and moving is such strange stuff. here's a heartfelt hug, and i wish i could come over and tidy your house a bit and all those little things to help you feel better for a moment....i hope you and your dh can get in sync soon - you both need it.

and oh, sarita.....big hugs...

so much to catch up on! and i'll have more to say on pottying and tv later...

well, to add to the stories, yesterday ruby pulled out a hunk of clay's hair while i was making dinner. i'm glad he has superfine hair and they broke. it was intentional and malicious. of course she was provoked. i am having to interfere on all their interactions now because from being sick all this time they have lost most decent social skills and feel too yuccky to do better. yes, me too. i spanked her for the first time - am i even allowed to mention that? to give her the message of never again. it is unfortunate that i felt this would be most effective and still feel that way today, tho i wasn't angry at her i promise you, just tired by the situation. if there was a vibe of spanking in the universe a few years ago i would have run the other way covering my head. so i dearly apologize to all of you, and hope you understand that i feel this is an isolated incident for a grave action. i was very unfriendly to dh today about it too (i know, not very effective or productive). at the time he was there reading a book, and ironically, the more horrified. later i told him that the punches in the stomach, kicking, and head whacking more common with the boys are physically more harmful with possible long term effects and we have to be present and interfere and tell them how to talk to each other and work it out because they really do not know what to do sometimes. now that i think about it, i am much more disappointed in him than i have let on - or he is perceiving. i have told him before that his physical presence with no emotional connection with the kids is a bad thing and told him to get off the couch and out of the room last week. i'm sure ruby would not have done such a thing otherwise - if the kids had been alone in the room. i need to have a talk with clay about never doing that as well. i think if he were an only child there would be no violence at all - in the beginning of the world, he was the victim, but he is capable of holding long grudges and retaliating and surreptitiously causing grief. so i'm running back and forth trying to control their thoughts and speech and actions. it is not the way i want to be, but it seems to need doing for now. if i sound blase, it is because i am just exhausted by refereeing and trying to conjure every ounce of softness to help them work things out for the greater good of the family.
post #38 of 156
"i have told him before that his physical presence with no emotional connection with the kids is a bad thing and told him to get off the couch and out of the room last week."

Ah, the wisdom of Casina!!! I tell my DH constantly that if he is going to sit in his chair in the middle of the chaos and not do a single thing then he should just pack up and leave because it angers me beyond words to see him completely unaffected by what is going on right in front of him. : Of course I love him... But sometimes I feel like I'd be better off with out him here because he really doesn't do that much to help me out, and if I was only relying on myself I'd know that I was the only one here to do it and it would be ok. But if he's here doing nothing I *expect* help and I don't get it, and therefore get angry wishing he'd help, and then it just causes more problems. So, he either needs to leave and find someone to take care of him, or start picking up the slack, YK??? But, he is only a man and he will never know the extent of what needs to be done around the house (it never ends, does it Mamas?), so I just need to start making him a list that he can see in black and white of what is expected of him. Part of the problem is that this (foster care) is my full-time job, and it is a 24/7 job with no lunch breaks, no paid holidays, no weekends off... And I make more money than DH , but he likes to spend more. He works as a private investigator, but he can go two weeks without getting a case, then two weeks straight with no days off. So while he is home I expect him to help and he is completely oblivious. (He's the kind of person that doesn't hear people talking about him, even if they're in the same room, because he's watching tv or something... It's like "HELLO?!? Don't you know what's going on around you?" But no, he doesn't... ) So I actually don't mind it when he's at work and I am in charge of all 4 kids because I'm not getting angry at him for sitting on his butt not helping, YK? Anyway, I'm done with my rant! I feel better!

Welcome new mamas. I'm the crazy one of the group. Just kidding... We're all crazy!

And yes, I will admit that I have spanked my son... : So Casina and I can be burned at the stake together. I'm not supposed to spank the foster kids, but I will admit that I have tapped their hand when they were babies touching something dangerous. (I really don't have to discipline Julianna very much- she tends to be the one trying not to make ripples in the pond since Crystal and Zach are *always* making ripples, lol.) I know I'm not supposed to spank ANYONE, and I'm not proud of it... But I threaten to spank when I think their behavior calls for it and it usually gets the kids in line. Is that wrong???

Casina, I had two brothers gowing up (one older, one younger) and I had to learn at an early age how to fight for what I wanted, and that included punching, kicking, and slapping. My parents let us fight it out, but my brothers and I had an unspoken rule of no hitting in the face or groin area. Everywhere else was fair game, though. Ruby will be a very strong woman who is able to take care of herself when it comes down to it, so consider it a blessing that she has these two crazy brothers to teach her how to fight, and protect her...

I'm taking Kaylee to her ENT appt today and she'll be seeing her previous foster mother. I know she wasn't abused there, apparently they gave her very good one on one care, but there are some "background issues" and emotional problems, or something like that. I'm still nervous about it. All the case workers are in an uproar because some don't agree that Kaylee should be visiting this woman because it might interfere with bonding because Kaylee will be confused. I don't care one way or another, I'm the one bringing Kaylee home with me at the end of the day, but I hate being in the middle of it all, YK? I want to get it over with!

Tonight we have a dinner date with friends and they're making Mexican food! They bought a huge sampler of Mexican cerveza, too! They have two foster sons and two natural daughters who are my kids' age, so it's always a huge party for the kids. I'm excited, I just hope the kids don't get tired too early...

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!
post #39 of 156
Wanted to add that punk and her family are always welcome to come camp here- on the living room floor or out in a tent in the desert. Heck, sleep on the trampoline out under the stars! The weather is still cool enough for that, but won't be for long! I know I'm west of you, and it's in the wrong direction of where you're going, but it would be fun and you're always welcome here.
post #40 of 156
Hi, ds will be 3 next week !!! I cannot beleive!

Ok the beginning of the week was hell, because the past weekends ina row we were away for the weekend and ALL routines were broken. This week bedtimes routines were driving me nuts we were out of the routines for sooo long.

Ds is very routine oriented and if he forgets a something in a routine like socks and shoes come off with his hand and head on the floor, he has a tantrum. I just put the shoes and socks on do it over again and move on. Its better than having a 30 min tantrum about it. So, there was alot of forgetting things we didn't do that I had to do-over to make it through the bedtime routine. I am alone most evenings, so its just me, so I like the bedtime to go smoothly because its when I am the most tired and have the least amount of patient.

I really don't know you mammas do it with more than one child and a 3 yr old
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