"i have told him before that his physical presence with no emotional connection with the kids is a bad thing and told him to get off the couch and out of the room last week."
Ah, the wisdom of Casina!!! I tell my DH constantly that if he is going to sit in his chair in the middle of the chaos and not do a single thing then he should just pack up and leave because it angers me beyond words to see him completely unaffected by what is going on right in front of him.
: Of course I love him... But sometimes I feel like I'd be better off with out him here because he really doesn't do that much to help me out, and if I was only relying on myself I'd know that I was the only one here to do it and it would be ok. But if he's here doing nothing I *expect* help and I don't get it, and therefore get angry wishing he'd help, and then it just causes more problems. So, he either needs to leave and find someone to take care of him, or start picking up the slack, YK??? But, he is only a man and he will never know the extent of what needs to be done around the house (it never ends, does it Mamas?), so I just need to start making him a list that he can see in black and white of what is expected of him. Part of the problem is that this (foster care) is my full-time job, and it is a 24/7 job with no lunch breaks, no paid holidays, no weekends off... And I make more money than DH
, but he likes to spend more. He works as a private investigator, but he can go two weeks without getting a case, then two weeks straight with no days off. So while he is home I expect him to help and he is completely oblivious. (He's the kind of person that doesn't hear people talking about him, even if they're in the same room, because he's watching tv or something... It's like "HELLO?!? Don't you know what's going on around you?" But no, he doesn't...
) So I actually don't mind it when he's at work and I am in charge of all 4 kids because I'm not getting angry at him for sitting on his butt not helping, YK? Anyway, I'm done with my rant! I feel better!
Welcome new mamas. I'm the crazy one of the group. Just kidding... We're all crazy!
And yes, I will admit that I have spanked my son...
So Casina and I can be burned at the stake together. I'm not supposed to spank the foster kids, but I will admit that I have tapped their hand when they were babies touching something dangerous. (I really don't have to discipline Julianna very much- she tends to be the one trying not to make ripples in the pond since Crystal and Zach are *always* making ripples, lol.) I know I'm not supposed to spank ANYONE, and I'm not proud of it... But I threaten to spank when I think their behavior calls for it and it usually gets the kids in line. Is that wrong???
Casina, I had two brothers gowing up (one older, one younger) and I had to learn at an early age how to fight for what I wanted, and that included punching, kicking, and slapping. My parents let us fight it out, but my brothers and I had an unspoken rule of no hitting in the face or groin area.
Everywhere else was fair game, though. Ruby will be a very strong woman who is able to take care of herself when it comes down to it, so consider it a blessing that she has these two crazy brothers to teach her how to fight, and protect her...
I'm taking Kaylee to her ENT appt today and she'll be seeing her previous foster mother. I know she wasn't abused there, apparently they gave her very good one on one care, but there are some "background issues" and emotional problems, or something like that. I'm still nervous about it. All the case workers are in an uproar because some don't agree that Kaylee should be visiting this woman because it might interfere with bonding because Kaylee will be confused. I don't care one way or another, I'm the one bringing Kaylee home with me at the end of the day, but I hate being in the middle of it all, YK? I want to get it over with!
Tonight we have a dinner date with friends and they're making Mexican food! They bought a huge sampler of Mexican cerveza, too!
They have two foster sons and two natural daughters who are my kids' age, so it's always a huge party for the kids. I'm excited, I just hope the kids don't get tired too early...
Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!