Yay! It's May for the 3 year old tribe! - Page 3

[DecemberSun]

I know "money is the root of all evil", but I think we could all use a little help from The Money Fairy...

[**guest**]

Oh man....I could REALLY use some money for the from the Money Fairy. I just got my huge (HUGE!) overdue electric bill AND overdue phone bill. I'm freaking out.

[punkprincessmama]

Liz, I'm sorry

Thanks Mamas for all the love, and casina for your words. I needed them all soo badly! Leah, I'm going to think on your offer, we have been talking / wishing about getting out that way for a bit, so we'll see!

much love,
punk

[tea olive]

yes, i need the money fairy. we are applying for a home equity loan where we will add 20,000 to one of our mortgages to get rid of these mean ol credit cards.

i realized today even more how mad i was a dh about the whole standby thing. or rather, started to be mad about all kinds of stuff. i'm over now, just tipped the balance for a little. i react so slowly.

i read not too long ago that brainscans show that males actually do space out, and that women are not capable of that. we just keep on going. there's positives and negatives with both of course.

just like that partnership and having more than one kid. liz, right now i am a bit envious that you are alone with your ds and can help him so much like you obviously do without any interference. my kids really could use some private dynamic and i know that i could have done some things better with reed which he really needs. partners can unwittingly sabotage or show bad habits or even worse, not be on the same page and be adversarial. sometimes they are just the extra kid some of us take care of. the other day i was alone with clay at home for an hour and it was simply bliss. of course, regardless of how much help a partner is, i know there is some comfort in just not feeling alone. but i wonder if i just need to take more responsibility in the same vein as if i were a single parent - that i need to just accept total control and really fly with it. the way you stated it leah, was just fantastic, about having to teach them what to do. i think the comic concept of a job jar might be a really good idea. my kids are getting to a point actually where i am going to start to make rules that will affect dh - like my kids may be punished or they will start to have to get him on the ball too. really though, i just wish it wouldn't happen at all. i get worried that their lives are not interesting or useful enough that playing me and dh is the main game.

anyway, one kid all the time is such an intense relationship. it is so powerful, many ways more emotional than a partnership, and what to watch out for is not being able to back away, get some interference with friends and family and community for both of you. it is such a tight bond. the thing about more than one is that you fight the biggest fire all the time so if there is wheedling about something petty, you can really extricate yourself and say i gotta go help the other kid because they are hurt or need my help. so they learn to defer and divide your attention. not always happily, but it gets done.

see, i'm just a fountain of babbling words. my af must be coming.

are you coming my way punk?

[hjohnson]

The money fairy would be welcomed at our house as well.

[tea olive]

yes, i need the money fairy. we are applying for a home equity loan where we will add 20,000 to one of our mortgages to get rid of these mean ol credit cards.

hahaha, thank you leah. wisdom? or painful annoying aggravating experience? i realized today even more how mad i was a dh about the whole standby thing. or rather, started to be mad about all kinds of stuff. i'm over it now, just tipped the balance for a little. i react sooo slowly.

i read not too long ago that brainscans show that males actually do space out, and that women are not capable of that. we just keep on going. there's positives and negatives with both of course.

just like that partnership and having more than one kid. liz, right now i am a bit envious that you are alone with your ds and can help him so much like you obviously do without any interference. my kids really could use some private dynamic and i know that i could have done some things better with reed which he really needs. partners can unwittingly sabotage or show bad habits or even worse, not be on the same page and be adversarial. sometimes they are just the extra kid some of us take care of. the other day i was alone with clay at home for an hour and it was simply bliss. even just two kids is really fun. of course, regardless of how much help a partner is, i know there is some comfort in just not feeling alone. but i wonder if i just need to take more responsibility in the same vein as if i were a single parent - that i need to just accept total control and really fly with it.

the way you stated it leah, was just fantastic, about having to teach the men what to do. i think the comic concept of a job jar might be a really good idea. my kids are getting to a point actually where i am going to start to make rules that will affect dh - like my kids may be punished or they will start to have to get him on the ball too. really though, i just wish it wouldn't happen at all. i get worried that their lives are not interesting or useful enough that playing me and dh is the main game. means i have free time to imagine things to be guilty about! the days off are the worst and dh has a different schedule every week. sometimes i think it is because i am not doing what is mainstream that it is trickier for him to know what to be actually doing when he is home, regardless of the fact that he agrees with most of the lifestyle choices.

anyway, one kid all the time is such an intense relationship. it is so powerful, many ways more emotional than a partnership, and what to watch out for is not being able to back away, get some interference with friends and family and community for both of you. it is such a tight bond. the thing about more than one is that you fight the biggest fire all the time so if there is wheedling about something petty, you can really extricate yourself and say i gotta go help the other kid because they are hurt or need my help. so they learn to defer and divide your attention. not always happily, but it gets done.

i hope you can accept what i say lightly, single mammas. i think of you with high respect.

see, i'm just a fountain of babbling words. my af must be coming.

are you coming my way punk?

[eilonwy]

I saw a snip of an interview with Jewel last week, wherein she said, "Money doesn't fix everything, but it fixes a lot." I'm right there with her.

But lately, I've been thinking positive thoughts-- "the abundance of the universe flows toward me" and such. I'm not sure where they're coming from, but I certainly feel the energy shift (though my bank account shows no such shift-- yet!) and I think it's a good thing. :

I'm exhausted. Why? Because Mike told me that he'll be on the computer most of the day tomorrow. I already feel like I have to steal my time online, and when I'm forced to do it in the middle of the night, when I'm already exhausted and I force myself to stay up even later than I might otherwise need to... well, it's just plain irritating. I want to slap Mike for this. : I'll give him grief for it tomorrow, definately.

[eilonwy]

New pictures under "Mike" and "Bella" in my sig.

[**guest**]

Tea Olive- Although I am single, ds's father does has visitation rights. Ds's father is an arse. He sabotages everything that I do. He does not understand or agree with much of my parenting style (AP/Natural Family Living).
So, I still have to deal with an idiot even though I'm not married. heh heh.

Rynna- I met Jewel once and she was so very nice. She really is a caring person. She's involved with many organizations that help children so she's GOOD with me. LOL.

[tea olive]

yeah, that's the thing, huh? when you have kids, divorce or a dissolved partnership still is a relationship to deal with.

dh seems mad at me for staying up til after 3 am last night and then went to work. i've decided that me being worried about what i can get paranoid is a codependent or even emotionally abusive relationship is simply that he is able to get to me in a way that others cannot. really, he woke up and said ONE sentence, which was, do you know what time it is? it pushes me harder than i would push myself sometimes, even if i'm resentful, but the more i think about it, i wouldn't want a submissive partner. i would like more help but i suppose it is unrealistic to expect that he could be nice 100%. in fact it made me more careful about what i say to my kids today.

i dunno if it makes any sense, i'm just realizing how hard i can be to live with.

[littleteapot]

Can I sub? My daughter will be 3 in 3 months.
She's in my sig.

[MamaFern]

rynna:BELLA is such a doll thanks for sharing her with us!!

relationships are hard no matter what.. ive been a single momma and now im with my babe's dad again.. its not perfect but its waaaaaaayyyyy better than it used to be. we have grown up a lot and i think that has helped us keep it together and love eachother more( we were both under 21 when elwynn was born). i thought in a way that having another baby would compound the bad but its actually brought our little family closer together. we both have shit to work on but its mostly good now.it is such a good thing when we take ownership of our negative traits though, because its SO easy to just blame the partner for the problems. but in truth we are equally to "blame" if you want to use that word at all.. i know i have a tendancy to think its all His fault that stuff is going bad.. but if i take a step back and really look its usully partly how i react to things and take small things personally. sometimes silences bother me more than words..pssive agressive behaviour drives me crazy! im usually pretty open with how im feeling. i dont try to hide it. im a very emotional person..so having to try to figure out what someone else is thinking all the time is hard.

[DecemberSun]

OMG, I can't believe how big BeanBean has gotten!!! He looks so "old"! You have a very beautiful family, eilonwy...

Kaylee has ear infections. So it has been fun around here the last couple of days, lol.

Have a nice day, Mamas...

ETA: Thursday's high is supposed to 101, Carrie!!! Summer is already here in the Valley of the Sun, so camping out of doors anywhere south of Flagstaff is going to uncomfortable from now until September, ... But we'll still be here!

[eilonwy]

Thanks! I like them.

I think that part of what makes BeanBean look so old is his haircut, for sure; it seems to exagerate the angular features of his face, while at the same time it makes his eyes look gigantic. He seems even older in real life.. :

[DecemberSun]

Originally Posted by littleteapot

Can I sub? My daughter will be 3 in 3 months.
She's in my sig.

I couldn't see Tempest , but I saw Jericho .

[abranger]

HI momma's

Sorry I haven't been around much. I've been working a ton and my campaign activities have also stepped up. I've been trying to keep up with the reading though.

my DH is very involved with the parenting. actually in the last few weeks GA only wants daddy to do everything (FINE WITH ME!) while he is a very invloved parent he is still hard to live with. he suffers from depression. he is medicated and sees someone every week but when he gets down it takes alot out of me. it's mostly hard b/c my mother also suffers with this so i feel like i've never had a break (hmmmm wonder what attracted me to him ) also i am a pretty upbeat person so i can't even really get inside his head when he's like this. i don't have any idea what it feels like. i worry about all these depression genes we may have passed on to GA.

do your dc play alone? I realize there are very few onlies left here but GA almost never plays alone. we can never get anything done b/c she either has to be 'helpong' us or one of us has to be playing with her. any suggestions on how to teach her this?

Amy

[littleteapot]

Originally Posted by DecemberSun

I couldn't see Tempest , but I saw Jericho .

Oops! I typo'd the link. It's fixed now.

[eilonwy]

Amy, BeanBean plays by himself whenever he gets the chance. He just keeps up a running commentary. He'll find *someone* to talk to, even if he has to imagine them. He also plays on the computer by himself now that we can run Starfall. BooBah, unlike her brother at this age, still *needs* a nap every day, so BeanBean gets a bit of time alone every day (though sometimes he needs and asks for more).

I'm really looking forward to BeanBean learning to read *well*, because that will mean more quiet time for the rest of us. If I can get BeanBean reading on his own by the end of the summer, but still have BooBah taking naps... well, my world would be a beautiful place. I have no idea how to teach a child to play on their own, though. BeanBean is always coming up with these projects and ideas, and he just carries them out-- like, he built a ramp out of the old siderail from BooBah's toddler bed, and then devised several ways of lifting it and putting it into different positions. I was really quite impressed when I saw what he'd done, but I have no idea how he came up with it all. This project occupied him and kept him (relatively) quiet for a whole day, from just after breakfast until Mike came home. He messed with it for the better part of a week, when BooBah promptly turned it into a ramp not for cars but for her behind.

Maybe Georgia just needs some more not-toys which are "safe" and child-friendly around, to encourage her to do things on her own. I find that given a toy car and just about anything else (small bungee cord, some funnels, plastic cups, those spongy paint brushes, etc) BeanBean will amuse himself for ages....

[**guest**]

Amy- My ds plays by himself but lately it seems that he doesn't want to. He used to love playing by himself.

Rynna- How old is BeanBean???

[punkprincessmama]

love the pics rynna, beautiful family

welcome littleteapot

Leah, that's insane!! I was afraid it would be too hot for Aubrey out there this summer (for camping / traveling - our truck has no a/c) My dh is out of town on a job right now, so I haven't even had a chance to talk to him about your offer. I know that we ideally want to finalize our plans this week and start making reservations for campsites / places to stay.

Casina are you offering?? Our first thoughts, when we began talkign about this trip, was to go through that area, for a lot of reasons one being I would love to meet you and your family. Another being we visited N.O. for Jazzfest early in our relationship and have always wanted to go back (we actually stayed in B.R. and walked around there for an afternoon, saw the capital etc. then went to N.O. the following day).

M. does play alone, quite often. She makes up stories and has imaginary kids that she talks to. She loves any kind of art stuff, that usually keeps her busy for awhile. i have no clue how to teach a child this stuff though. It just kinda happened What an awesome story about Bean Bean! I'm impressed with his focus.

Amy, I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now