Who are you telling and when?

[Thalia]

First time mama here.

We've told our parents and will be telling our siblings this week. I told my best friend yesterday and DH told his yesterday, too.

Now we are trying to figure out who else to tell or not tell. I'd love to have some of the women who have been praying for us to conceive continue to pray for a healthy first trimester, so I think I'll be telling a few more people soon. And we have two friends, a couple, who have been GRILLING us (innocently) about the appointment we had with an RE the day before we found out we were pregnant. Naturally, they want to know what we found out and when we are going in for testing. Not sure how to fend off those questions without blatantly lying about it!

[meggles]

We're telling people that we feel like telling. So far, we've told Dh's sister and some of our close friends. We're thinking of telling the grandmas-to-be on Mother's Day, provided the beta results are good. I'll be just about 6 weeks then.

[Zaxmama]

We recently moved to Florida and our families are in Pennsylvania.. so I have told my close friends here ( lived here before) and I called my BF from Penn. and my brother.. but all have been sworn to secrecy.. because we are going to send Mothers day card to Nana and Grammy and Nan, with a picture of my DS in a shirt that says BIG BROTHER in training.

[Carrie Posey]

I had my first of two hcg level tests if they turn out positive I think we will start telling those we love. Oh I like the big brother in training shirt idea Zaxmama....would you be horriably offended if I used that when I drop my son off at his Grandmas on Mother's day weekend? She is watching him so DH and I can go to a B and B.

[Zaxmama]

Not at all I totally stole the idea from my girlfriend who did it 2 years ago!! hehe share the creative love!!

[cpop]

My rule of thumb is to tell all the people who I would want to talk to if I had a miscarriage. So my sisters and closests friends, my dh and my mom and dad, but not his folks or my brothers.
Basically I think people who I would call crying if the worst happened. If I would feel uncomfortable talking to them about a mc, then I don't tell them.

[christmasevetwins]

I really don't want to tell anybody until I'm at least 10-12 weeks. However, dh's entire family is flying to our house in a couple of weeks (from US and Europe!) and I can't imagine not telling them all then.

Our news will probably come as a complete shock to everyone because we didn't tell anyone we were planning on a third. In fact, I've sold most of our baby stuff on ebay, so we weren't even thinking about a third. Well, I was, WE weren't. I've known for three years that I wanted to have another baby. It took me about that long to convince dh that he wanted another baby.

[tempestjewel]

Besides DH, I told one of my best friends (who is going to be my doula) right away. I also told my sister (she's a member here so I figured she'd read about it anyways, so I was thrilled for an excuse to tell her early). My dad knows because he lives with us, but I haven't told my mom or step-dad or any extended family yet.

I'll be seeing my mom and grandma on mother's day, and I'll be just about 7 weeks then, so I may tell her then. I have an ultrasound scheduled for May 22nd, and if everything looks great then I'll probably tell more people. I wanted to wait until after the 12-week appointment, but I don't think I'm going to be able to camoflauge this pregnancy for that long since my clothes look funny now.

I understand about not wanting to have to "un-tell" different people. That was incredibly painful

[jessjillbolyer]

We can't keep our mouths shut lol. We have told all our friends and some of my family. Don't plan on telling the rest of the family tell around 12 weeks.

[mamallama]

I have told a doula friend (she's isolated from my other friends and family) and the lady who works at the health food store.

The secret is delicious, but it's killing me! We have 2 dds, 4.5 & 7. Dh and I can't even talk openly until we tell them. Of course, we can't tell them until we're ready to shout it from the rooftops!

Dh's parents will be super pleased.

My family might not give a good initial reaction. We've had a baby boom in our family in the past few years, and instead of seeing it from my point of view--baby number 3, my mom will see it as grandchild number 5 and my grandma will see it as great grandchild number 7. .

I like the big sister t-shirt idea. Maybe I should email a picture of the girls in big sister shirts...then I wouldn't have to be present for the initial reaction

I'm most worried about telling my best friend. She wants a baby so badly, but she isn't TTC because she's been v. close to divorce recently. She just turned thirty a month ago and that with the baby-lust and the relationship issues is really, really hard for her. I dread telling her, but I know she needs to hear it directly from me.

I've considered not telling until people start guessing...the only downside I see is that I wouldn't get to decide who finds out first.

[Thalia]

I'm most worried about telling my best friend. She wants a baby so badly, but she isn't TTC because she's been v. close to divorce recently. She just turned thirty a month ago and that with the baby-lust and the relationship issues is really, really hard for her. I dread telling her, but I know she needs to hear it directly from me.

I have a friend who went through IUI and IVF last year, unsuccessfully, and she is still processing through her grief about that. They have started the adoption process, and that is bringing some joy, but I know it will be hard for her to hear our news. She told me that it was hard for her last year to hear that a friend of hers who had been trying for a long time had finally gotten pregant: she was very happy for them, but felt that she had lost an infertility comrade, if you know what I mean. We tried for 12 months, so she and I had bonded a bit over the TTC thing. I think she'll be fine about it, but I feel sad to cause her any pain.

[didkisa]

I miscarried in March and thankfully hadn't told anyone I was pregnant except my midwife and husband. Unfortunately, I freaked out at work when it started happening and my boss was full of questions. I just told him I didn't want to talk about it and he respected my wishes and told me to take all the time off that I needed.

I hope to be pregnant now (getting pregnant seems to be the easy part for me...), but I've decided not to take a test until Mother's Day for two reasons: I think it would be awesome to find out on that day, and if I miscarry before then, I don't really want to know--I can just assume it was a really bad period again.

NONE of our friends or family know we're trying and most don't even know we want a child. They've been very good about not asking those kinds of questions, thankfully. I've been planning for about a year how and when to tell them. When I found out I was pregnant I bought a onesie that says "I love my grandpa" and a pillow that says "Everytime a child is born, so is a grandmother." I plan to deliver the gifts in person to my dad and my MIL once I'm around 3-4 months along. We just happen to have a reason to go to both states (we live VERY far from both families) around that time frame: a high school reunion and a wedding. That will be how we tell them (and videotape it, if I can without being too obvious!) After that, I'm going to tell my boss about my planned "career change", then announce to close friends. Hopefully I won't be showing or too sickly in front of everyone before then!

[mommy2boys]

I told my mom and sister and a friend, other than that we are waiting until July to tell everyone else. Especially dh's family who isn't going to be very thrilled that we are having another.

[Kritto]

I'm a new momma-to-be, so this is all very new for me. So far DH has told a few close friends who he visited last week. We're gearing up to tell our parents, sibs and grandparents this weekend, but I'm incredibly nervous about it. I feel great about the pregnancy, but since this is my first (and will be the first grandkid and for some the first great-grandkid) I don't know how the family will react. I guess I'll just tell them and see what happens!

Although we're telling family this soon, we're going to wait as long as possible before telling our advisors (DH and I are both grad students) and fellow grad students. It'll be kind of weird not having anyone in the area know, but at the same time I think it'll make the next few months go by easier without people constantly scrutinizing my research. We'll see.

[tannersmommy]

We're the WORST! We just got our BFP this morning (Sunday) at 10dpo and we've already told both sets of grandparents, all of my siblings, and about 10 people at church.

[swtpesq]

So far we haven't told anyone (unless you count the receptionist at my OB's office!)...assuming that the results of my hcg test are good, DH and I plan to give our moms a Mother's Day card with a pictures we took of ourselves the day we got the positive HPT...first a picture of the two of us kissing, then a picture of me smiling holding the stick, then a close-up of the word "pregnant."

After that, I think I will be a bit more restrained than I was when I was pregnant last year which didn't end well...that time I told anyone who would listen, including everyone at work, long-lost friends via email, etc. I don't really regret that, but this time I will only tell people that we see on a regular basis until after the 12 week u/s.

Like a couple of other mamas on here, I, too, am concerned about telling my best friend...she has been TTC for 12+ months, and was less-than-ecstatic last time I was pregnant, and was even a bit snide when I told her I thought I might be pregnant now ("You're pregnant again already?!?, as if that's a bad thing...). I know it's hard for her, so I'm not mad, but I will be hurt if she's not happy for us. I'm just going to stay positive!

~Christina

[earthie_mama]

I told everyone the day I found out. I'm excited, I can't keep my mouth shut. I wqas at a garage sale and the girl there told her mom (b/c I had told her) "She's pregnant" and her stupid mom was like, "Yeah I can tell...." And I was like, no actually you can't I'm only 5 weeks preg, and still fat from the first one.....stupid mean lady.

[bemommy]

Told my mom (so now my aunt and stepdad know). I've told a few friends, those who've been with me through the hell of TTC for the past year plus. I'm planning on waiting until just about the end of my first trimester to tell my IL's and then everyone else. My SIL to coming up with her family at just about that time to have a little get together. I was going to have my DD wear a Big Sister in Training shirt. . or something like that.