I'm another one that would stay friends... of course, it depends on the person and what there "reasoning" is. I'm very lucky that the majority of my friends have left their sons intact... No one I know that choose circumcision did so for purely cosmetic reasons, or for social reasons. It was a combination of factors, fears, and myths their doctors did not break.
I blame the doctor's and medical professionals that present circumcision as a viable 'option' and do not educate parents on how normal the foreskin is. That do not explain the risks in real terms or share the function of the foreskin to prospective parents.
I know too many parents that have gone to a medical doctor and asked their opinion on this issue and have not been advised to keep their son intact. Coupled with the myths they know and a few internet searches, they are either overwhelmed by all the conflictining information and opinions that they are faced with-- and choose what is most comfortable with and used to -- or they find their way to a pro-circ area or group and find information that makes that decision look like a medical choice.
It makes me sick, and sad, but I understand why they would be unwilling to do something that they think (and are told) is risky.
I will continue to be friends with them and when the opportunities present, I will try to find out what information they were missing, so that I can try to share more appropriate information with my other friends and people. I won't be afraid to share that my son is intact and that I'm happy with the decision the more and more I learn about this issue. But I wouldn't be purposefully harsh or judgemental, just hoping that something I say might resonate with them and make them look into the issue once more.
I would have a hard time being friends with someone if I felt their choice was thoughtless and careless, but my best friend did circ her son, and she asked me for some information--- what I didn't realize was that after she then started calling all the pediatric urologists in her area to get their opinions. And of course, all of them told her she'd be better off circumcising at birth to avoid problems later. I know a lot more now then I did when I was talking to her.
What am I going to do, tell her she's an idiot for trusting the advice of a specialist? Sorry, should I throw 28 years of friendship away? I don't think so.
I STILL have doubts on this issue... because sometimes it just seems so barbaric that it is impossible to believe that circ happens, and such circ happens all the time, then maybe it must not be so crazy... but sadly, I know that circ is barbaric, I just have to be angry that it is ingrained in our society and find ways to rock the boat.
And you know what sometimes occurs to me when we have people posting on minor problems (and some not so minor) that I think it is sometimes a good thing that only the strongest of us get through this battle, because we have to stand up to doctors misdiagnosing and doctors prematurley retracting, and all the naysayers, and 'diaper rash' episodes that we think are just that, but not sure... because everyone told us to expect infections. Then we hear posts about painful erections, or some pain when adhesions are loosening (and I've gone through this a little with my son) and then there can be doubts.
Sorry to be pessemistic, but those are each many opportunities for one doctor to come in and say, hmmm. circumcision now. And that's one more parent that can say, I left my son intact and he needed to be circed later.
That's a circle of violence that is hard to break- and maybe sometimes it is just as well that some people don't opt to be the change maker.
Just something that occurs to me every now and again, when I'm in a bad mood.
But what is heartening to me is that my best friend, even though she made a different decision, knows enough about the issue that she is likley to present positive information to a pregnant friend of hers... or even tell that person about me. If I had shut her out, I don't think that kind of opportunity would ever present itself.
I do think circ is child abuse, but in most cases, I believe it is the doctors performing and encouraging that have blood on their hands.