Baby lust

[Taedareth]

Is anyone else wanting to make another baby already? :

I feel sort of disloyal to my 5mo son for thinking about TTC another baby. But I feel like I have plenty of love to go around for a second child, and um... I have this inexplicable desire for a girl to dress up in cute little frilly dresses. Intellectually, I know that I'd rather not spend Wesley's babyhood being pregnant. I'm really not all that eager to revisit the nausea and tiredness and I'm not excited about experiencing labor again. But the baby lust just doesn't listen to reason...

[Panthira]

Uh Yeah, and I have to force myself to think logically. I have 4 kids already, my DH has an appt to get his vasectomy done in the summer, and Greyson is supposed to be our last baby.

He is at my favorite baby stage right now. He's still small and doesn't go anywhere when I put him down, he sleeps through the night, he has head control, and he likes to play with simple things, and he's small and cute, and I love holding him with his little kicking legs. I love children, especially my own children and even more on a good day.

I've been fighting that urge to have another baby with all of my rational might. I know it's only the chemicals that are talking. That's our function: to procreate!! I think I've added to the population more than my share, and I can't imagine trying to get another baby into our van. The cost to the planet and to my family (financially) is too great. I want to be able to give the children I have the most I can give them and for them to be a positive force on the world and the planet, and to be honest, I'm getting tired and want to do other things as well as be a mommy, though I love that too. I've been a mom for 14+ years now.

I have all of these conflicting thoughts and feelings. I'm fending off my DH as much as I can because we aren't using BC and I'm already ovulating. I'm afraid I'll get pregnant again and a part of me wants that, but another part knows it's not a good idea. My DH says if it's meant to happen it'll happen.
I'm racing the clock until July.

Hehe ramble on.

[kofduke]

I have the thoughts all the time. Luke is just so cute and smoochy and sweet, and Aaron's so funny and smoochy and handsome that I can't imagine never having another child, KWIM? Don't know if or when it'll happen though...DH would have to have a real change of heart.

[darkpear]

No freaking way!

I love my two girls, but wow, my plate is plenty full right now. Amalie is just over the hump (I hope!) of a VERY challenging phase, and we are working on repairing our (mostly my) credit and just generally getting our finances and our lives in order. I really can't see cramming five people into our little apartment, either - it's bad enough with four.

I do think we'll end up having another child at some point, though I have a hard time picturing us going beyond three. For now, though, it's a decision I'm happy to defer.

I wonder, too, if the babylust thing isn't at least partly hormonally driven. I have had no sign of fertility returning; last time it took fourteen months, and I wasn't regular for a few months after that... and that did coincide with the beginnings of wanting another, iirc.

[IncaMama]

yyyyyyyyyyeah, not so much over here. LOL

the thought of her being my *last* (of two LOL) is sort of sad, but not NEARLY enough time has passed since i had debilitating crotch pain and mind-numbing nausea for me to do it to myself AGAIN.

dave wants 2 more. heheheheh. we'll see. for now, my cup runneth over and i'm pretty happy.

[xmasbaby7]

Major baby lust over here. You're right, this is a blissful stage. A bit of a break before they start moving.

We still don't know if we are going for #2 later. We feel differently from day to day. If money were no object, I think I would try for as many as I could.

[judybean]

It varies.

Will we have more? Oh gosh, I sure hope so!! We'll certainly work towards that!! But right now? Heck no*

* (heh... I'm totally lame and added my asterisked bit right away!): by 'heck no' I mean that we are not actively trying to conceive another one. If something happened though, we would welcome that babe with open arms.

So... we're certainly not going to 'try' for another right now. I have had no signs of my fertility returning yet either (um, yeah, be completely jealous of me... I *did* supplement early on, but still have managed to ward off AF!!) hopefully it will keep up like that for a while... and then we'll just see.

Our house is seeming small right now, but I think a lot of that is because we have too much stuff. We're getting rid of it bit by bit (anybody need med. FBs?!?!?! )

[Spark]

I think this is the honeymoon phase - no longer in the 4th trimester and baby not moving yet... they're so cute! We're so in love! Can't we just keep having babies!?!?

I *do* want one more member to our family. I want to erase my last pregnancy from my mind by having another one. A really really good non-vomit one! but... I know I need ot wait.

[MistyB]

Yes...I would love another later but it is not appealing in the slightest now. If we do have another, it will be with a 4 year gap. We both really want another but we both think we need to be done. We over analyze college savings, retirement, providing the things we want to provide. I hope we do not regret that decision down the line.

[aisraeltax]

if money were no issue and i could 1. be a sahm until they at least were in school, 2. get some type of fuel efficiency automobile to fit at least 8 ppl, and 3. get a mother's helper 2x a week for 2-3 hours, i would have babies until i couldnt have babies anymore!!!
since none of these things are applicable, this is my last babe.
i do have those urges...g-d, its so weird. he's only just turned 4 months (on the first) and i find myself looking at nb's in the stores, etc.
what is wrong with me? im glad to hear its not just me!

oh, and as far as ovulating...does AF have to return in order to be doing that? i really dont want to be prego while E is a babe...i just dont think it woudl be fair to him b/c i was such a mess last time!

[allnaturalmama]

Bring 'em on! The more the merrier. My hands might be full, but so is my heart.

[Thursday Girl]

i am having some baby lust i wouldn't mind having another now (remember earlie i was the one saying in 6 years) dh is against it, finances are against it, and not doing it is against it happening.dh really doesn't want another right now, really really really. i know he would adjust if it did..but we might have to get busy first. hmm that is my sad predicament. not the not getting pregnant the other part. anyways ahem to much info.i think it would be neat to have twins. i really wanted twins the first two times but als nothing. now i don't want twins b/c i only want three kids so that might increase the likelihood of twins 9not really but you know) but now i do want twins so you know i will probably have another singelton. blah blah blah

jewelys in a rough spot so i guess my short answer is whatever happens happens.

courtney

[hottmama]

NOT ME!
I'm debating whether or not to have a third, but if we do, it'll be in 4+ years. And lately I'm leaning towards not having any more of my own. I just do not do well without sleep. Really. Also, I can't imagine having to go through the first month of BFing ever again. It is just too hard. Labor is bad, but nursing.... let's just say my kids are lucky I made it through without killing myself or them. Not to mention I'd probably end up with another boy, even after trying my darndest for a girl 3 babes in a row.

I'm getting an IUD soon and won't get it removed until 2010 at the earliest. We might adopt an African AIDS orphan eventually, after my partner has his Ph.D. and we can afford to pay off his loans and afford an international adoption.

You people are nuts!!!

[judybean]

Originally Posted by allnaturalmama

Bring 'em on! The more the merrier. My hands might be full, but so is my heart.

That's *SO* beautiful!!!! And, that's exactly what I think as well.... when I step back and really see the best picture (not my self-centered one)

Oh... and on retirement, college education, etc... I'm not concerned.

I'm not going to deny other children into my life simply so I can have a cushy retirement. That's not my goal in life. And college savings? Gosh... maybe my kids won't *want* to go to college!! There are so many wonderful professions that don't require one, I wouldn't want to try to force my kids to go to college if they don't want to!! Because the more I look around, the more I see how much I NEED a plumber, electrician, hair stylist (well, sometimes... usually my sister -- who is going to go to cosmetology school in the fall -- just cuts it), grocery clerk, garbage disposal worker, etc.... they don't need a Harvard degree. Most professions don't. I'm not saying college is bad (duh), but I think people get caught up in it a lot. To me, it often turns into a huge competition thing and I'm just not there. ... Now, I'm not saying those who are saving for college are bad (duh).... in fact all three of my girls *do* have college funds -- but they were established by my parents, and my parents put money into there on their birthdays. I don't have anything to do with it.

When the time comes, if my girls want to go to college, dh and I will help all we can.

I went to college and never took out a student loan. My parents helped a bit, but otherwise I worked my behind off through high school at a fast food restaraunt to make money, and also focused on good grades to earn scholarships. ... hm... I'm going a bit off-topic here

My point is, I think that some parents get too caught up in making their kids' lives too easy. I think saving your own money, working to get that money, and then spending your own money, really can impact the way kids will view what they have (gosh, if that makes any sense...)

(sorry, I get carried away with the college thing often... I've been thinking a lot about it lately -- especially since my brother graduates from college tomorrow!!! : he's going to be a high school math teacher! )

[amygoforth]

Originally Posted by allnaturalmama

Bring 'em on! The more the merrier. My hands might be full, but so is my heart.

AMEN, sister!

DH and I had this very conversation today. I totally have baby lust. DH is off work today (Oaks Day -- the day before the Kentucky Derby -- is a freakin' state holiday in Louisville, so DH's school is out for the day), so we're spending the day together, just he and I. Of course, all we talk about are the boys. Anyway, he knows I absolutly want at least one more baby. He asked me if it's because I want a girl. Well, yes, that's part of it. But I want more kids to love, and a big family to celebrate as we get older.

Also, I want to be pregnant and actually GIVE BIRTH one more time. I think it's my x-treme sport! As hard as it is, I love love love it. That feeling right after the baby is out? When you first have him in your arms while he's all warm and slippery and floppy? Dude, if they could bottle that feeling, it'd be illegal!

[winonamom2be]

Originally Posted by judybean

Oh... and on retirement, college education, etc... I'm not concerned.

I'm not going to deny other children into my life simply so I can have a cushy retirement.

-snip-

And college savings? Gosh... maybe my kids won't *want* to go to college!! There are so many wonderful professions that don't require one, I wouldn't want to try to force my kids to go to college if they don't want to!! Because the more I look around, the more I see how much I NEED a plumber, electrician, hair stylist (well, sometimes... usually my sister -- who is going to go to cosmetology school in the fall -- just cuts it), grocery clerk, garbage disposal worker, etc.... they don't need a Harvard degree. Most professions don't.

Well, I'm not really sure how I feel about all that. For one thing, there is a difference between having "a cushy retirement" and just wanted to be able to eat something other than Alpo when you get old. My husband has spent most of his adult life in school and the other part at lowpaying jobs, so he hasn't even worked enough to QUALIFY for social security yet, and he is almost 50. I stay home with dd now, so there's not a lot of extra income, and we just bought our first house, so we have a mortgage and virtually no equity to fall back on for any type of loan.

And I do feel that it's important to me that my dd has a good education. She would make more $$ as a plumber, I'm sure , and if she wants to become a plumber after she gets a degree, that will be fine with me. Heck, with my degree I have worked doing professional home imporovements and organic farming - not exactly your white collar jobs always. But college education is very important to us (my dh is a professor) and I feel that since it is that important to me, I have an obligation to provide it if I can. (Not exactly fair to say 'you have to go to college' and then say 'and by the way you have to pay for it yourself, too', imo.) but that is just our family - i know everyone is different on that.

All that said, I really really REALLY want another baby but dh is against it altogether for the above financial reasons. and i can see his point. but i also think that where there's a will there's a way, to a great extent. so we'll see. i would want to space them by at least three years, and dh is not getting any younger (and neither am i, frankly). So we'll see. If it doesn't happen, well, it doesn't, but that would make me sad.

I'm new to this forum, btw, so hello! nice to 'meet' you!

[winonamom2be]

Originally Posted by amygoforth

Also, I want to be pregnant and actually GIVE BIRTH one more time. I think it's my x-treme sport! As hard as it is, I love love love it. That feeling right after the baby is out? When you first have him in your arms while he's all warm and slippery and floppy? Dude, if they could bottle that feeling, it'd be illegal!

OMG - is that the truth or WHAT???!!!

I've only had one and the thought that I might never feel that again is so sad!!!

[spiralmg]

Originally Posted by amygoforth

Also, I want to be pregnant and actually GIVE BIRTH one more time. I think it's my x-treme sport! As hard as it is, I love love love it. That feeling right after the baby is out? When you first have him in your arms while he's all warm and slippery and floppy? Dude, if they could bottle that feeling, it'd be illegal!

Yes, this is me exactly. Ms. Athlete needs another birthing challenge to feel like she has mastered the event. Oh, I do want another one...

And hey judybean I am in need of some Med FB if you are serious...

[Taedareth]

Those of you who say you want a specific gender next time - have you read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"? Because it describes a way to influence the gender with about 90% accuracy if you're using the FAM/NFP method. Good luck!

I really enjoyed hearing everyone talk about the college savings issue. So many sides to that debate. Personally, I got my 4 year degree and paid for most of it myself by working part and full time while I was in college. Took me longer than 4 years that way, but I didn't have to take out any school loans. And has my education benefitted me? Not financially, certainly not. But it benefitted me as a person because I majored in something that really interested me (English). And it'll benefit my children because I think the experience of going through college has made me a better learner, which in turn will make me a better homeschooler. That's just me - I could totally see how another person could graduate college and feel like it was a waste of time. (DH feels that way about his college degree.)

We've decided that we're going to go partway with our kids. Let them live at home cheaply or free while attending college and maybe save up some funds to help with tuition as well. But we want them to take their education seriously, and nothing encourages seriousness like helping to pay your own way!

[hottmama]

Taederath- I tried all of those things last time around and ended up in the 10%. Boo.

amygoforth- I never knew you were in Louisville! So am I!