Mamas who are spending time in the NICU - Page 5

[boscopup]

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

Yay! Marlow is home.

Hooray!

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

How long should I wait to announce her being home to the rest of the world? I'm worried that everyone who has been waiting to see her are all going to want to come visit at the same time. (our NICU didn't allow any visitors that weren't the parents or grandparents).

We announced it right away, BUT... we told people that visitation needed to be limited because he didn't need to be exposed to germs and such due to immature lungs. The hospital said to keep him away from the public (ie, stay home) for 6 weeks (which put us right at his due date), so we told people that. The only people that could come visit were the people bringing us dinner each night (and if they held him, they had to wash their hands first, and some even said they changed clothes before coming over, although I hadn't asked them to do that). Other relatives got to come over once and see the baby, and grandparents got to come a little more often (but they too got to see him in the NICU - my parents did his 9pm feed for a long time).

If someone calls and asks to see baby in the first week without bringing food or anything, I'd just say "Can you come in a couple weeks? That'd be better for us.", giving you time to settle in with your new bundle of joy. I think lots of people coming over that first few weeks - whether baby is preemie or full term - is a bad idea. Mom and baby need to bond and get settled into a routine, etc. Visits can wait!

But the key with a preemie is to stress to people that your baby has immature lungs and REALLY doesn't need to get sick, so visitation is not desired until baby is a little older. I didn't have any problems with people wanting to come over just to see the baby those early weeks. If they weren't part of the dinner-providing group, they just waited until I brought him out in public for the first time.

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

Is it normal for babies to "hum" or snore when they sleep?

Joshua was sometimes pretty loud when sleeping. It did make it easier for me to know he was breathing at least.

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

She seems to be crying more here than at the hospital. She's consolable but I wonder if maybe she is mourning or missing her hospital environment as it was her little home for a long time.

One thing to remember - the NICU is LOUD. Your home is probably very quiet. You might turn on the TV or radio for some background noise, and try to keep things not TOO quiet.

It does take some time for baby to get used to the new surroundings, and I think it is normal to fuss more at home than at the hospital. I've even seen full term babies do that - ones that were rooming in and everything. They get home, and the first night is AWFUL. I think it's just part of making a big change.

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

Her monitor hasn't gone off here yet. I hope it's working correctly and she's just doing really well.

Sounds like she's doing great!!! Congrats on having her home!!!

[fireant]

Originally Posted by Amys1st

Limit visits for a while longer- at least a week. All the visitors will have plenty of time to see here. If you do allow them sooner than later, be strict about wellness and hand washing.

We've only told immediate family so far but I'm a bit uncomfortable about them visiting too.

I'm worried that my ILs will not be well and they don't seem to recognize this. My MIL is a school bus driver and always seems to have bugs. My DH's neices and nephews tend to have colds often as well. I'm working on really stressing the importance of washing hands to them. I'm also concerned that my MIL smokes and she may have the smoke in her clothes too. I hoping that because the baby is premature I can hang on how much more sensitive and susceptable she is to catching things.

They are coming to our house this weekend (my MIL and FIL) so I need to practice being very firm about the healthy baby thing. I know they love her and mean well but they are clueless on some things and I need to get a backbone with them (thankfully DH has one and now that he's a papa it has spikes too).

What do you guys tell people who come to visit and once they arrive appear to be unwell? or if you saw a cold sore (or something) on someone that was going to kiss your baby what would your immediate protect-the-baby response be? I feel like I'm going to have to address some issue this weekend and I want to do it correctly and firmly to make sure Marlow is safe.

Thanks for all your help!

[fireant]

Originally Posted by boscopup

The only people that could come visit were the people bringing us dinner each night.

That's a great idea...how did you get people into making you food? Does your answering machine explain that requirement? I wonder if people would follow our diet when making our dinner (I'd hate to find bacon hidden in the salad or something )

Originally Posted by boscopup

One thing to remember - the NICU is LOUD. Your home is probably very quiet. You might turn on the TV or radio for some background noise, and try to keep things not TOO quiet.

Another great idea! We just took that advice and turned on the radio and she loves it!!! It put her right to sleep after a fussing episode. thank you!!!

[sehbub]

Sorry I've been out of it ladies...for some reason the thread wasn't showing new activity!

I know you've already gotten answers for Marlow, but we experienced a lot of the same things. We can't sleep with Sam because she can't sleep in the dark and quiet, and I can't sleep in the light with noise. So, she sleeps in her room with the door open and hall light on and a fan in the window for white noise (and ventilation, of course) and we sleep in our room all dark and shut up tight. She's just across the hall, so it works for us. And in the morning, my husband brings her to me on his way to work, and we kangaroo in bed for a few hours before we start our day.

Sam seems to be gassier on the days that she gets her cafcit. Then again, she's incredibly gassy to begin with because I have to give her formula (grrrr) about half the time since I can't pump enough milk to feed her.

The monitor is a tool of the devil!! Sam figured out how to pull her leads off, and was doing it three or four times a day, so I finally used a small piece of medical tape over each lead to hold them in place. She hasn't had a true brady in almost a week, and that was only when she was eating. I'm trying to convince DH that she's fine and really doesn't need to be on the monitor, but he's terrified that something will happen and we won't know about it. So, we'll wait until they tell us she can come off of it. Until then, she's a tad cranky and screams every time we come at her with new leads. And I can commiserate with her..I SO love the feel of a cordless baby!!

As far as protecting the babe, I'm starting to master the deft hand-over-the-baby's-head move. If someone moves in to kiss/touch/nuzzle her above the waist, as many people try to, I gently sweep my hand in front of her face and push their hands/faces away with a smile and a "please only touch her feet. She's very small and could get sick easily, and many bugs aren't noticed until they're full blown." My other DDs, 6 and 4, tell everyone who comes in to the house that they have to wash their hands if they want to hold the baby. Our 4 year old has followed a few visitors to the bathroom to make sure they used enough soap and got "good and foamy." It's best, IMO to make sure people know, before they get near the baby, that they are not to touch the baby's face, chest, hands, or stomach. I let people touch Sam's feet only because it's doubtful that she'll get her feet in to her mouth, and she gets wiped down after each visit anyway The hospital wouldn't allow someone with a cold to be near the babies, so why should you have to? Grandparents or not, our baby's health comes first!!

Sam rolled over the other day! All the way off the couch! My brother was watching her while I was upstairs pumping, and when he turned away to take a bite of his burger, she rolled off the boppy and to the edge of the couch. Luckily the ottoman was shoved against the couch, so it stopped her from falling off and hitting the floor. Instead, she slowly slid down to the floor as her 5 pound body scooched the ottoman away from the couch. She was totally unfazed by this, and slept through the entire thing, but I am WAY too young for a heart attack! She's also starting to have more awake time. She spends a good hour and a half or two hours awake every day now. She doesn't want to eat or try and nurse or be cuddled, she just wants to lay there and look around. It's fantastic!

Sorry to be so long-winded...I think it's the sleep deprivation!

[boscopup]

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

That's a great idea...how did you get people into making you food? Does your answering machine explain that requirement? I wonder if people would follow our diet when making our dinner (I'd hate to find bacon hidden in the salad or something )

This is something that the ladies at my church do for every mom after the birth of a child (although they waited until he came home for me, since I was recovering sans baby and had no trouble making dinner right after he was born). One lady volunteers to coordinate, and then she gives any food restriction instructions to the other ladies. For example, one lady at church has a dairy allergy, so when she has her kids, we have to make sure there's no milk or milk products in the food we make.

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

Another great idea! We just took that advice and turned on the radio and she loves it!!! It put her right to sleep after a fussing episode. thank you!!!

Oh great!!!! I'm so glad it worked well for you.

[boscopup]

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom to be

I'm worried that my ILs will not be well and they don't seem to recognize this. My MIL is a school bus driver and always seems to have bugs. My DH's neices and nephews tend to have colds often as well. I'm working on really stressing the importance of washing hands to them. I'm also concerned that my MIL smokes and she may have the smoke in her clothes too. I hoping that because the baby is premature I can hang on how much more sensitive and susceptable she is to catching things.

My FIL smokes too, and I told MIL to make sure he changed his clothes before seeing the baby, so the clothes would be smoke-free. I also wouldn't let him hold the baby without a blanket between baby and his clothes (needed that anyway since he had reflux and spit up alot ).

Stress to your inlaws that your baby has very immature lungs and that getting so much as a cold could land her in the hospital again (granted, that is probably exaggerating... DS came home with a stomach bug and didn't have to go back to the hospital, and he did have colds during his early months, but it was at least after his due date and he was ok).

Is school still in session where your MIL drives buses? In my area, school is out already. So maybe your MIL will have less bugs if school is out there too?

Oh, and don't forget the line "The doctor says..." If you tell them the doctor says not to do something, they're more likely to not do it.

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by boscopup

Oh, and don't forget the line "The doctor says..." If you tell them the doctor says not to do something, they're more likely to not do it.

: Works every time!