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Sterilization to avoid cesarean :(

post #1 of 57
Thread Starter 
I heard the saddest thing today...

I ran into a highschool classmate today who recently had her second baby, via scheduled, repeat cesarean. In the course of conversation, she mentioned she had a tubal ligation. I said, "Oh?" and her response was...

"I had to do it. If I didn't, and I got pregnant again, they would force me to have another C-section. We wanted more kids someday. I don't want to have my body cut open ever again. Not ever. So I had to do it."

How sad is that? As a sufferer of 2 cesareans, my heart hurts for this woman. As I am planning a homebirth with my third, I am saddened that she does not know of the homebirth option. As a woman living in an "industrialized" society that boasts itself on our "high standard of medical care", I am OUTRAGED THAT A WOMEN HAS TO BE STERILIZED TO AVOID A FORCED SURGICAL DELIVERY!

I am sorry to vent, I just want other moms to know what is going on. Have any of you on mdc had similar experiences? I am so mad, i don't even know what to write anymore.

I waned to share this with a community that would understand.
post #2 of 57
Wow, it is sad.

Dan's cousin had a c/s with her first. Got pregnant within 6 months and had a c/s with number two. She was told she HAD to have her tubes tied so she won't get pregnant again. And she did! wtf?
post #3 of 57
I can understand feeling that way. After my second c-section, I thought I was okay with the "fact" that I "had to" have another one. I wasn't...months of nightmares, and I fought with my doctors for the entire pregnancy, and ended up cut again.

I wish I'd known about the homebirth option. By the time I talked to our local midwives, I'd had two sections, and they wouldn't take me (they'll do VBAC, but not with multiple c-sections...would lose their licenses), and I'm still not comfortable going unassisted.

As much as I wanted ds2, and as much as I still want one more baby, I can really understand the temptation to have a tubal. Of course, my OB kept "offering" even after I said no, so there was no way in hell it was going to happen...he pissed me off too much!
post #4 of 57
I have a friend who has had 2 c/s, I attended both births. The first was a classic case of downward spiral. Arrived in labor, got an epi and it went downhill fromthere. Epi slowed labor, labor stalled, Pit. given, labor picks up, epi has to be cranked, Pit then has to be cranked, after countless hours makes it to 10, doc kickis me out at this point DH stayed, mom pushed for ONLY 30 MINUTES (!!!), doc decided head too big, c/s insues, classical incision, small baby w/small head...impatient doc. So the the 2nd she said she'd rather not go through all that mess again and scheduled a c/s. Much better experience, however, before she evenscheduled it she said she'd get her tubes tied while they were in there to avoid doing all of that over again. She even went so far as to switch hospitals just because the other one doesn't do sterilization (thoug hthe hospital she switched to was MUCH better ayway, she used midwives during the pregnancy). So for the 2nd c/s, she went in, had ababy, and got fixed I was so sad for her and I know that someday she'll want more children, I know her. And now she can't and it's all because she had c/s. It really saddens me

Namaste, Tara
post #5 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by laprettygurl
Wow, it is sad.

Dan's cousin had a c/s with her first. Got pregnant within 6 months and had a c/s with number two. She was told she HAD to have her tubes tied so she won't get pregnant again. And she did! wtf?
WTF indeed!!! That's just infuriating!

Namaste, Tara
post #6 of 57
Wow, so sad.
post #7 of 57
wow, that is really sad I know the pain of wanting to have children and not being able to....as horrible as that is, much worse is the feeling that I might have done something to somehow cause it, or there was something I should have done to prevent the IF, yk? I can sympathize with how bad these women would feel if they thought they somehow allowed it to happen, or if they later found out it wasn't necesary, yk?

I really hope that doesn't come out as stupid or insenitive, I meant the exact opposite.
My heart goes out to all women who have been lied to and violated in this way.
post #8 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie
can imagine how bad she'd feel when thinking back about how she 'consented' to get her tubes tied.
My mom to this day regrets her tubal... my parents went that route because they'd had BC failure three times and were just too broke to imagine having more children. Then my youngest brother died and they realized how permanent the tubal was.
post #9 of 57
That poor woman.
post #10 of 57
Sorry, but I don't see why your friend had such an issue with her c-sections. I had two and would have another if I got pregnant. If she really wanted more kids then she wouldn't have gotten a tubal. I think she is just giving an excuse. No one forced her into a tubal - she is responsible for her own choices just like we all are.

I am grateful that c-sections exists becasue without them I would not have been able to be a mom at all!
post #11 of 57
"I am grateful that c-sections exists becasue without them I would not have been able to be a mom at all!" TexasSuz

:
I wouldn`t have my 3rd son & probably any more if it weren`t for sections. It sucks, but my kids are more important to me than how they got here.
post #12 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by liseux
"I am grateful that c-sections exists becasue without them I would not have been able to be a mom at all!" TexasSuz

:
I wouldn`t have my 3rd son & probably any more if it weren`t for sections. It sucks, but my kids are more important to me than how they got here.

See, what scares the crap out of me with repeat c-sections is that "six times more likely to die" thing.

Just call me a p***y.
post #13 of 57
Quote:
Sorry, but I don't see why your friend had such an issue with her c-sections. I had two and would have another if I got pregnant. If she really wanted more kids then she wouldn't have gotten a tubal. I think she is just giving an excuse. No one forced her into a tubal - she is responsible for her own choices just like we all are.
ITA! I know many people who have had 3, 4 and even one woman who has had 6 csections. Also, even if you have had 2 csections, there is no reason why you can't go on to have a vaginal birth. A woman can not be forced into having a csection. I feel so bad that this woman thought they would.

A tubal wasn't even mentioned during my second csection.
post #14 of 57
Some of the comments here are quite insensitive - this is not about you, ladies! :



I sympathize with your friend, that is very sad that she feels that way. At the same time I deeply understand: some c-section experiences are like being medically raped and humiliated. If you were essentially told you had "no choice" but to experience this over and over again willingly, would you want to? PTSD is strong and really force our hand at some things. I hope she finds peace over her birth trauma.
post #15 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amylcd
ITA! I know many people who have had 3, 4 and even one woman who has had 6 csections. Also, even if you have had 2 csections, there is no reason why you can't go on to have a vaginal birth.
...as long as you're okay with unassisted homebirth...and the possibility of someone sending CPS around to knock on your door.

Quote:
A woman can not be forced into having a csection. I feel so bad that this woman thought they would.
There was a woman who used to post here who was wheeled into OR screaming "I do not consent". I was wheeled into OR the first time screaming, "I don't want a f---ing c-section" and crying my eyes out. There have been court orders. Woman can quite definitely be forced into having a c-section. Women have been forced into having a c-section.

Quote:
A tubal wasn't even mentioned during my second csection.
Mine, either. They waited until my third to start putting on that particular pressure. My OB has assured me that "three is the perfect number of children", anyway...awfully glad he's cleared that up for me. I always thought I wanted four, but I'm sure he knows better than I do...

But, it's okay. If I have another one, he's very kindly told me that he'll do the tubal at the same time as does my section... :Puke
post #16 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
There was a woman who used to post here who was wheeled into OR screaming "I do not consent". I was wheeled into OR the first time screaming, "I don't want a f---ing c-section" and crying my eyes out. There have been court orders. Woman can quite definitely be forced into having a c-section. Women have been forced into having a c-section.

For mine, I was in complete shock because 5 minutes earlier I wasn't even sure I was in labour and suddenly they told me I was 10cm, my baby was crowning breech and someone had their hand up inside me pushing my baby back to my womb. I was in SO MUCH PAIN. They all started screaming c-section, die die die, they literally put the pen in my hand, closed my fist around it and put it on the paper.
From what I've heard, they really wouldn't have cared if I hadn't or had been unable to sign it. They completely ignored me while I was screaming about wanting a vaginal birth.
post #17 of 57
Oh, your poor friend. I can't even imagine the trauma she must've went through to make her want to never have children again. : I just want to hold her. She needs to see someone about PTSD.
post #18 of 57
Quote:
as long as you're okay with unassisted homebirth...and the possibility of someone sending CPS around to knock on your door.
I've talked with my OB about this, and she said she has had MANY patients deliver vaginally after 2 or more csections.
post #19 of 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
But, it's okay. If I have another one, he's very kindly told me that he'll do the tubal at the same time as does my section... :Puke
Do what!? I hope that was him offering and not saying "I'm goiung to do it while I'm in there with or without your knowledge, tra lala...." Ugh

Namaste, Tara
post #20 of 57
I also feel badly for the woman that she would rather stop than have more sections. That is very hard and a very personal decision.




"See, what scares the crap out of me with repeat c-sections is that "six times more likely to die" thing." Charles Baudelaire

Well, VBAC`s don`t always work either unfortunately.
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